Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Mr. Hefner? This Is Getting Kind of Sad.

hef_shannons

Does anyone else find it a little pathetic that this is Hugh Hefner’s Christmas card? I mean, the guy’s 82 years old, and his “family” is Karissa and Kristina Shannon, the twins he’s now calling his girlfriends. The Playboy empire is crumbling, and here’s this octogenarian posing with half-naked twins young enough to be his great-granddaughters. I know we’re supposed to be all like, “Hells yeah!!! Hugh Hefner’s gonna die getting head from 21-year-old felons! ROCK ON!” but somehow this all just strikes me as very sad.

I mean, we get it, Mr. Hefner. You can still get barely legal chicks to get into bed with you. Bravo, dude. Seriously, though, you’ve made your point. Now’s the time to make it clear to the world that, beneath those silk pajamas, you spent many years being a shrewd and meticulous businessman, and you’ve been a quiet champion of a great many social causes and charities. There’s a lot to respect about you, Mr. Hefner. Isn’t it time to cut the womanizing shit out?

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    • i find it strange everyone loves him he is a pedophile an old men gettin his rocks off with little immature bearly legal slags , any1 else wud be locked up

      • He’s not a pedophile, actually.
        In psychology terms, that’s being attracted to children thirteen and under.
        Colloquially, it’s being attracted to minors; under eighteen. I’m sure he makes sure they’re all legal.

  • I concur.

    A tad off topic, but you all should read the book Playground, but Jennifer Saginor. It’s her tale of growing up in the playboy mansion b/c her dad was Hef’s personal physician and basically everyone’s go to doc for anything they wanted. It’s a decent enough read if you’re looking for something to pass the time by. Kind of sad, actually. The girl saw some really fucked up stuff.

    • I haven’t read that book, but I did read Bunny Tales by Izzabella St. James. And that was pathetic. These girls with their “stripper mentality” that just use Hef and expect more and more!

    • That book sucked. It’s basically name dropping and the whining of a spoiled rich girl who got everything she wanted materially, yet complains that she didn’t get “love”. She blames everyone else for her promiscuous behavior and partying at a young age, while at the same time she is bragging about it all. She takes no responsibility for any of her actions. She is manipulative in her “poor me” approach to get people to feel sorry for her. It obviously only got published by connections she has through the father she hates. I do not think it would have been published if Hef’s name and trademark bunny on the cover weren’t a selling point. Don’t waste your time or money.

  • it really is pathetic. it makes me feel sad for the old fucker. doesn’t he have one TRUE friend in the world who will have a crucial conversation with him about packing it in?

  • yeah i’ve heard the playboy empire is crumbling; falling stock prices (now 1/4th the value a year ago), laying off people, no one is buying the magazine.

    but far from schaudenfreude, i like how he forced america to deal with sex and sexuality openly. with that verbose statement, it’s sad with those two. and honestly having sex with two sisters at the same time (which i kind of doubt anyway), but, it’s kind of gross

  • Beet- didn’t you used to live in LA?
    Do they just have spray-on tan hoses at all the entrances to Hollywood?

  • It’s time for him to “just fade away”… the magazine is gonna die soon… the “girls next door” unexplainably is a big hit with women.. don’t get that. So they need to make the website hotter, get something more mainstream with their dvd line to save the empire. Would have been cool if the # on the girls shorts was 82 for his age… Just like in girls next door; I wonder what these girls jobs are… do they have to do anything? or just photo ops with hef?

  • I am SO bored with him. He has posed like that with many, many, many orange women and it only gets sadder every time. You are so old Hugh! Move on and do something nice before you die! This shit is bananas.

    P.S. Those twins are U-G-L-Y. (…You ain’t got no alibi… Okay, it’s out of my system.) Their outfits are very tacky and it looks like someone put them in a huge vat of tanner and let them stew for 24 hours.

    P.P.S. And what is with the background? This picture looks as if it was randomly taken in Mr. Hefner’s house. Like, “Hey girls. Going sunbathing? Hold on one sec, let Ralph take a picture of us. Smile ladies!”
    Jesus…

    P.P.P.S. I know this is getting REALLY annoying, but just hear me out. Orange twin on the right has a cell phone in her hand. Does that not prove my theory in the second P.S.? It so does, n’est-ce pas?

    • I assume that by “their outfits are very tacky” you are referring only to their shorts seeing as how their…umm…shirts are painted on.

    • Nice catch. Backgrounds can be embarrassing. Remember that girl from American Idol who had a bunch of pictures of her leaked? She tried to recreate the Jessica Simpson Rolling Stone cover (with a Swiffer) and she hung a sheet up to give her a white background but you could see the sheet coming down and you could make out the picture frames through the sheet. Saddest. Thing. Ever. Well, until now.

  • You said it, Beet. And I refuse to believe that Hef actually has sex with his “girlfriends”. That would be so icky for them.

    • i think beet is envious she wouldn’t ever make the grade… as are the rest of you. Holly Bridget and Kendra made a life for themselves out of playboy, without it where would they be? These girls want the same and hef is happy to help but it’s a two way street ladies!

  • > Isn’t it time to cut the womanizing shit out?

    Ya, having sex with young beautiful women is sad. He she want to have sex with ancient crusty women that have tits pointing down to their ankles. What is wrong with that guy?!

    • Really?? So, let me get this straight…your 19 year old daughter is up there with ol’ Hef, getting some action, and you and his brother are out at the grotto?? Stoopid. Those girls are idiots, and he is a pervert, now. yeah for him,…and you too, sexual revolution, indeed. Bull shit friend. His lil’ game is sad and tired and there is NO place in today’s America for this has been. Time to snuff out the cigar and go out with whatever dignity you might be able to buy.

  • Well, yes, he kind of should. That would be…uhm… NOT disgustingly wrong and twisted. (I don’t want to think about old people having sex, but I want to think about old men having sex with young girls even less.) It’s pretty obvious that there really IS something wrong with that guy. How come Ellen Page hasn’t cut his balls off yet? Because I really don’t see the difference between this and a Hard Candy situation.

    • becuase these girls are 21, if anything thef shoudl eb protected from them! duh, you think these women are wide eyed and innocent? get real!

  • How come nobody blames these women just the thought of having my daughter getting it on with him is revolting. Hell, him getting it on with my mom is too! and she’s dead!

  • It’s really sad that the mighty playboy went from beautiful supermodels to very very average looking bleached rock of love sluts. The new twins are by far the ugliest girls yet and would’nt have stood a chance of getting into the magazine 10 years ago. It’s also sad that they still pretend that this old skeleton is banging these girls when everyone can tell he’s half dead and gets propped up for pictures like weekend at bernies!

  • I can’t imagine having sex with an old fart whose skin is baggy, and covered with liver spots, pecs creeping down towards his belly, hair growing out of his nose and ears, hair is balding, vison and hearing is diminishing (Is that you, Spunky? Ehh – what did your say???) and dick needs a drip bag of Viagra. It’s just too gross.
    It’s time to hang it up, old man, you’re just not alpha material any longer.