Listen up, people. I’ve been a vegan for an entire week and a half now. Anybody who’s known me for any length of time will tell you that, after I’ve done something for more than two or three days, I am the undisputed authority in that activity. Which is why I think it’s rather odd that Alicia Silverstone has decided to write a book on veganism when, clearly, if anyone should be writing such a book, it is I.
Rodale Inc. has just proudly announced plans to publish The Kind Diet, due out in fall 2009 by the actress and animal rights advocate. The book explores the connection between what we put in our bodies and what weâ€™re doing to the planet, and how choosing the right foods in the kitchen can help you feeling lighter, sexier, and more alive. The book will include a 3-step diet program and 75 vegan and macrobiotic recipes.
Oh, silly Alicia. I am the one who has been trusted with the position of informing the masses about veganism. Don’t come trotting out here like you’re suddenly relevant and try to usurp my position. I’m not the one who thought Excess Baggage needed to be produced. That’s your baggage, sweetheart. Now run along and make another doomed pilot for FOX and leave the writing to the pros, mmkay?