Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Joaquin Phoenix Is A Hole!Ass

You’ve probably heard that Joaquin Phoenix is “not doing movies anymore.”  Probably an excellent idea since the critical blocking skill of “your left is my right” is lost on him.

Joaquin at the AFI Film Festival Centerpiece Gala screening of Che in Hollywood.

37 CommentsLeave a comment

  • Yeah we’ve already heard it…

    but why don’t you post it again 8 more times for all the Jewish readers.

    And I heard there’s a village in Rawanda that’s expected to get internet in 2012… Make sure you post it then too.

  • Hahaha… first thing I thought when I saw this on CNN was… seriously? Did he not realize is says BYE! GOOD? C’mon!

  • Whatever. The only real talent in that family met his untimely end in front of the Viper Room.

    He did a good Johnny Cash but only because his mumble-speak actually worked in that role.

    Bye good, Joaquin, for now, and see you in about five years when you realize that not making movies equals not getting paid.

    • maybe its not all about money u ever heard of taking risks to live or following ur dream no matter what you leave behind.

  • thank god. i hate hairlipped actors as i spent the entire movie staring at that jagged lip scar. now, all i’ve got to do is pray that michael j. fox doesn’t start trying out for his abandoned roles. watching that shit would really drive me nuts.

    • C’mon what does your opion really matter about hair lipped whatever. Hope you never children with any problems that we could all hate them for and make fun of. Grow up and mind your bizz.

  • Umm, TSS??

    What’s with the inappropriate Jew-hating attitude?
    And do you mean “Rwanda” maybe?
    Apologies will be accepted….

  • i think he’s up to something. he had his own camera crew last week when he said he was “retiring”–i dunno. i don’t think we know the deal yet. he’s being intentionally weird & obtuse. he’ll get over it when he realizes he’s broke.

  • @ ButterStink

    I don’t hate Jews at all. My plumber is a fat, gay, Albino Jew… He bent over to fix my sink and said, “I found a crack” and I said “I found one too, but I’m not gonna charge your ass for it”.

    We had a big laugh about it over cocktails and cookies.

    And yeah I meant “Rwanda”… there goes my dreams of being an online tombstone engraver…. but I’ll be real careful whenever I’m talking about you though…

    … Is their a hypen in “dumb ass” ?

  • I think he’s a great actor, but he is sure acting like an idiot lately.
    We can all laugh at him when he comes back to acting.

  • TSS,

    Thanks so much for explaining the Jew comment as well as you did, and for being so willing to be careful when talking about me.

    Oh, and I wood wreckommend adding a dickshinary to your Hanukkah, I mean your Christmas, list.

    P.S. Sorry about the foot-print in your back.

  • Oh, Joaquin. He is such an oddball. I do love his acting though. Too bad he never got his Oscar. It’s probably for the best that he got out of the spotlight since he seemed to hate it so much.

  • I think he’s high, high HIGH lately! Joaquin’s on a good one, has been for a couple months now at least. I absolutely cracked up when I read this Bye! Good story yesterday over at dlisted. This shit is hilarious – thanks for posting this story here, Wendie!

  • Most people aren’t aware that making films is extremely hard work. While shooting a movie you have absolutely no life and barely any sleep for months on end. I won’t even talk about the sleazy producers and such.

    He has made enough money and there is no reason for him to work another day in his life. Always wondered why more people in Hollywood don’t cash out and enjoy life.

  • re; donkey punch

    there you go again. now you’re a fucking expert on making movies. it’s always fun to see which of your multiple personalities show up each day to post, sybil. can the astronaut come out to play?

    • whats your goddam expertise cuz it sure isnt you personality beautiful get a life so you dont have to worry so much about other peoples like starz youll never be like

  • Joaquin can do no wrong in my eyes (well, perhaps “We Own the Night”). The bitch is a temperamental douchetastic stoner, but one hell of an actor. That’s all that matters to me.

  • It’s sad to see such a great actor leave. I think Joaquin was far better actor than River (even River said it himself!) and for those judgemental people out there – the day that any of you achieve as much I’ll eat my words, he’s brought his fantastic talent to the world and in my opinion improved it, what have you all done lately?

  • you honestly think he gives a flying fk what any of us think. leave people be man. You ever heard of having goals or dream or even an ich to scrach. Its human fkn nature to have do what makes you feel good or better. Ya hell be back when hes ready to deal with all of our ignorant shit again.