Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Hi, God. Quick Question. Why Does It Have to Be Kirk Cameron in the Fireman Suit?

OMG. What a vagina tease. These photos are just saying, “Hey, Beet, it’s a hot, wealthy man in a firefighter uniform and there are TONS of pictures of him for you to gawk at. There’s just one tiny catch: it’s Kirk Cameron.”

It’s like how someone approached Kirk Cameron twenty years ago and was like, “Listen, I have this awesome way for you to always be able to feel like you’re better than other people, no matter what. There’s just one tiny catch: You have to abandon all logic and reason.”

The difference is that Kirk Cameron was excited about his proposition.

Anyway, crazy evangelist Kirky was promoting his new film, Fireproof, which actually has fucking nothing to do with hot firemen. The plot synopsis:

Lt. Caleb Holt lives by the old firefighter’s adage: Never leave your partner behind. Inside burning buildings, it’s his natural instinct. In the cooling embers of his marriage, it’s another story.

After a decade of marriage, Caleb and Catherine Holt have drifted so far apart that they are ready to move on without each other. Yet as they prepare to enter divorce proceedings, Caleb’s dad asks his son to try an experiment: The Love Dare.

While hoping The Love Dare has nothing to do with his parents’ newfound faith, Caleb commits to the challenge. But can he attempt to love his wife while avoiding God’s love for him? Will he be able to demonstrate love over and over again to a person that’s no longer receptive to his love? Or is this just another marriage destined to go up in smoke?

Wow, sounds like Caleb is dealing with some weighty issues. Me? I’m just going to spend the rest of the night trying an experiment I like to call The Finding Naked Firemen Photos on the Internet Dare, and I’m fairly confident it’ll be an overwhelming success.

13 CommentsLeave a comment

  • omg, my mom was just telling me he was in a movie, and i was like what , on lifetime? she said no, a real movie! i was still skeptical but too into watching house to ask for any evidence but now i know- she read it in some christian newsletter!!! obviously!!!! real movie my ass.

  • I remember him from way back then. He was kinda cute. And he probably wouldn’t be that bad today if it wasn’t for his brainwashed religious beliefs.

  • You can barely see his old young face in his new old face. He looks better older. Aging works for him and Doogie Howser.

  • I saw him once in front of a gorcery store in TheValley. Do you know how I know it was him? Not because he was outrageously famous-even though this was the late 80s or early 90s. I knew because he was jumping around in front of the store saying, “Don’t you know who I am? I’m Kirk Cameron!” The guy collecting carts was not amused.

  • I pray for you. Thi sis going to be an awesome movie and my church will be there Friday night, opening night, to support it. Christianity is not some brianwashed religious belief. Try it, it just might save your soul.

  • I pray for you. This is going to be an awesome movie and my church will be there Friday night, opening night, to support it. Christianity is not some brianwashed religious belief. Try it, it just might save your soul.

  • Thank you so very much! After searching for an hour and reading multiple ravings of how great the movie, book and “The Love Dare” are the greatest thing since God, I felt a refreshing breeze of reality with your article.