I love doing these contests, mostly because your responses are always some of the funniest shit that ever hits my inbox. You guys hit it out of the ballpark with this one.
The challenge was to complete the following sentence:
Jesus is sexy because ______________ .
The the winners are:
Grand Prize Winner (gets Sexy Jesus T-shirt and doll):
Diana C: “Jesus is sexy because he’s the only man who could even promise a second coming.”
Runners-Up (get Sexy Jesus poster and bumper sticker):
Rebecca R.: “Jesus is sexy because he is a shiksa-loving Jew.”
Umiko R.: “Jesus is sexy because I like my men whipped!”
Tinka H: “Jesus is sexy because he has multiple body piercings.”
Adria: “Jesus is sexy because he lets you eat him during church.”
Katie: “Jesus is sexy because He keeps His kingdom in a constant state of coming.”
Honorable Mentions (no prizes, but cute responses):
Umiko R.: “Jesus is sexy because he was well hung.”
Robert N.: “Jesus is sexy because he gets me off work TWICE a year.”
Heidi B.: “Jesus is sexy because if you got knocked up it would be the paternity jackpot.”
I would also like to note that my grandfather called and left me a voicemail that said “Hello! It’s your grandfather! I read about your contest asking why Jesus is sexy. And I’d just like to say that Jesus is sexy because he’s a nice Jewish boy! Okay?” Ha ha ha. I ::heart:: my grandfather. And I’d list him as a winner but I know that, if I sent him the prize, he’d just put it in a plastic bag with a bunch of pens, gum, hard candy and newspaper article clippings, and send it back along to me as one of the regular gift packs I receive from him. But you’re always a winner in my heart, Grandpa!
To check out the Hamlet 2 trailer, click here.
I’m Umiko, just so everyone can recognize how hilarious I am.
you people are effing idiots.
I hate to spoil the fun, but damn- that is really sacrilegious guys.
I think the Beet has a really cool grandfather.
Sacrilegious….or HILARIOUS?
Yeah guys…you can make fun of everything else but when you start making fun of Jebus its just WRONG!
/sarcasm
Very disappointing! Shame on the ones who submitted these trashy, sacreligious entries and shame on Evil Beet for publishing them. Very distasteful and disrespectful. I overlook A LOT by frequenting this site, but this is too much.
Yeah, those were pretty bad. Sick, really.
Yeah.. usually I find everything the Beet posts really funny, but I’m pretty religious and didn’t really appreciate the jokes. It’s sort of disrespectful.
“Very disappointing! Shame on the ones who submitted these trashy, sacreligious entries”.
” I’m pretty religious and didn’t really appreciate the jokes. It’s sort of disrespectful”
Wow. Yet you guys have no problem with people mocking and making fun of OTHER peoples religions, such as Scientology. Your blatant hypocrisy is funny, yet sad that you don’t realize you are such disrespectful HYPOCRITES yourselves.
Pretty low down stuff for a cheap laugh….Jesus is alive, will be coming back soon, and you will be judged. He died for you., and THIS is how you treat Him? Shame on you for your childish and immature trolling for laughs…
We don’t really have to make fun of Scientology it makes fun of itself…..praise be to xenu warrior princess….see we don’t make it sacreligious or get on it, but seriosly xenu? At least Jesus is real…and not a scientific warrior princess
It really saddens me to read blasphemous comments like these. What has happened to our society?? How can something like Hamlet 2 be accepted at ALL? John 3:16 says that the Lord Jesus loved us SO much that He died on the cross for us, and for those who believe on Him, they will have a home in heaven someday. It has nothing to do with a religion or about saying oh my religion is better than your religion. My relationship with Jesus is real and my life would not be what it is without Him! Everyone has a choice. Jesus is God, and should not be lowered to the subject of a morally deficient comedy
Audio started playing anytime I opened this webpage, so frustrating!