Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Mangling Language and Decorum

Almost every headline associated with the Anna Nicole Smith hostage situation (I’m sick of saying “saga” and “ordeal”) reaches new heights of silliness. These guys hit the silliness clouds and then they hit the afterburners.

Here’s the latest headline: “Smith to have ‘over the top’ memorial”

Over the Top was a really good movie in 1987 where Sly Stallone has to win an arm wrestling competition to get his son back (I think) but it is not a great tone to set for a funeral in my humble opinion. Perhaps dignified? Or somber maybe? How about “celebrating the life of Anna Nicole?” No, you’re right, let’s send in the clowns. Can we have the casket delivered on a flaming Harley? What about California governor Arnie involved somehow?

More fun with pull quotes:
The memorial service will feature large amounts of pink flowers, her favorite color, and singing from a well-known performer whose name organizers aren’t ready to disclose.

Her hellish momma said “Of course it will be over the top because it’s Anna Nicole.”

The singer better be Wayne Newton. I will accept nothing less. Tacky 4 life!

All of the factual fun comes from AP of Nassau, Bahamas. Good work guys.

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