Is Britney Preggers Again?

Oh man, if this is true, Britney Spears’ child is going to have way bigger problems than having Britney Spears as a mother: namely, fetal alcohol syndrome.

That’s right. The rumor du jour is that Brit has once again been gifted with the chance to carry a human life in her temple of a body for the upcoming nine months, during which this lifeform will have the opportunity to ingest vodka and cocaine directly into its bloodstream at all times without lifting a finger, the kind of blessing the denizens of Skid Row can only dream about.

To be honest, I believe this rumor about as far as I can throw Britney Spears, but if you’re interested in the details, apparently they’re blaming Brit’s recent vomiting incident on the pregnancy (even though she’d been drinking immediately before), and they found some eyewitness who claimed that, for one night, Britney sat at a club and drank water. See? She’s totally preggers!! Oh, and something about “the sparkle in her eye. She always gets that sparkle when she’s pregnant, like she’s relaxed and happy.”