Congratulations to Lindsay Lohan, who found out on the Internet today that she has a secret half-sister. Yes, it’s true, Michael Lohan had an affair with some other woman while he was still married to Dina, knocked her up, and had a baby. The girl’s 13 now, and Michael Lohan has decided to spill his guts to OK! magazine about it, before even telling the rest of his family, because he’s classy like that.
In a statement to OK!, Michael says, “Years later [the woman] contacted me, convincing me that I was the only person she was with and that she had my child.”
In fact, OK! has seen letters Michael wrote to the girl’s mother where he says that his secret daughter “is beginning to look a lot like Linds, with a mix of [younger brother] Cody, believe it or not.” He also sent his daughter a photograph of himself while he was still in Collins Correctional Facility which he signed “Love Daddy.”
This man is the Devil. I mean, seriously, sit down and think of the level of craziness it takes to actually approach a celebrity mag and say “I’d like to tell you about my bastard child. Because what my daughter Lindsay — who finally seems to be pulling herself together — really needs is more public drama in her life.” It is an act of sheer, disgusting selfishness. Michael Lohan is a horrible, horrible human being, and if you see him on the street, I recommend you throw acid in his face.
Wait. What if you throw acid on his face and it turns him into a supervillian?! Be careful!
I cannot WAIT for pictures of this girl & her Momma.
No, no, no! Not you too Beet! Please don’t call that poor girl a bastard. Yes, I know that’s the correct term for a child born out of wed lock. But come on, it’s just such an ugly word. That poor girl is only 13, has grown up without her father, & now it’s all over the place that her father is a Lohan. That girl has enough to deal with, without being called a name that should be poltically incorrect. I know I’m ranting I just hate hearing that.
He is a fucking tool.
What a piece of scum-sucking shit… If I was Lindsay, I’d go the Mcauley Culkin route and divorce that fucker out of my family once and for all.
Macaulay Culkin… however you spell that goofy name of his…
MACAULAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Whoa there, Joy. I got shit handled! ;)
Thanks Mimi in Mo, you made an excellent point.
Michael Lohan is the BASTARD, not the child!
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@mimi:
Point taken. It is the appropriate term, which is why I used it, but I see your point. I’ll be more careful moving forward. It is, of course, not this girl’s fault in any way.
Michael is a pimp.
a secret child! no way! and the only reason I’m interested is to see what she looks like. I hope she really looks more like her mother.