Today's Evil Beet Gossip

I Thought Farrah Fawcett Was Dead

I love Goldie Hawn. She’ll just show up to the most random shit and be like “Look! I’m here! I can’t make any guarantees as to what my mouth will be doing at any given time, but, then again, neither can my daughter! Do you like what I’ve done with my breasts? Does anyone here have weed?”

This was the Elephant Parade Auction in London, which benefits a hospital or something else that needs benefiting.

Elizabeth Hurley showed up as a perfect foil. Elizabeth Hurley is the most beautiful and perfect person on the planet and Father Time will not do anything to change that because her billionaire husband acquired him in a recent merger and keeps him in a basement and makes him watch The Englishman Who Went Up a Hill But Came Down a Mountain on a loop all day every day.

Also there: Princesses Beatrice (the skinny one with the anime eyes) and Eugenie (white dress, no further comment).

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