I need Justin Bieber to just stop, immediately. Like, stop everything about himself. Get on that one-way flight to Mars that’s heading out next year – I’m sure they can find you a seat.
Ahem, I digress. JB got into a mini car accident with a paparazzi who was following him in LA. This isn’t a situation where a high speed chase was involved, but rather one where Bieber noticed the photographer driving behind him and decided to slam on his breaks suddenly and purposely so that the photographer crashed into him. Yes, seriously.
Now, of course, he thinks he’s like Princess Diana and wonders why we didn’t learn from what happened to her, because the two situations are so entirely the same (and he’s so much like her):
There should be laws against what I just experienced. We should have learned from the death of Princess Diana…
— Justin Bieber (@justinbieber) August 26, 2014
Okay, I don’t even know where to start here.
1. Only a dickhead slams on his breaks to purposely cause an accident (which could have injured/killed not just the paparazzi – who, regardless of his profession, doesn’t deserve to DIE – or anyone else on the road) just to then complain about how HE was in danger.
2. JUSTIN BIEBER IS NOTHING LIKE PRINCESS DIANA.
I’ll stop there and leave you with my usual: fuck this kid.
August 28, 2014 at 9:00 am by Jennifer
When Justin Bieber isn’t pretending he’s a thug, assaulting people, doing drugs or trying to score girls, he’s a very serious musician with a very serious love of music. That’s why he filmed himself getting up in the morning, grabbing his guitar and singing ‘Talkin’ About a Revolution’ – something he knows so much about, of course. If there’s one thing Justin Bieber knows, it’s the struggle.
He even did a little Johnny Cash for us:
God, I can’t stand this kid.
August 26, 2014 at 10:30 am by Jennifer
Ugh, another day, another instance of Justin Bieber being an entitled dickhead. Let’s keep this short and sweet: Justin apparently ordered his bodyguard to “personally destroy” the camera of paparazzo Aja Oxman and Aja says that’s not right and wants money for his troubles.
Aja Oxman claims Bieber was behind a brutal attack against him in which he was lifted in a choke hold and slammed onto a the hood of a car. According to the lawsuit — obtained by TMZ — Justin “enjoyed the beating.”
Bieber was in Kauai last November at Shipwreck Beach and decided to cliff jump. Oxman says he took a photo on a public beach and Bieber sicked his bodyguard on him … ordering, “Go get his memory card and do whatever you have to do to get that card.”
Oxman says that’s when the bodyguard opened a can of whoopass, took his camera and memory card. The bodyguard, Dwayne Patterson, was booked for 3rd degree assault and 4th degree criminal property damage.
The suit — filed by attorney Sark Ohanian — claims Bieber and his hired muscle destroyed the camera together.
Okay, look: celebrities must get tired of being followed by photographers all the time. HOWEVER, you’re famous. That’s what you signed up for, asshole. Also, it’s not like this dude was up on the cliff hiding in the bushes, he took a photo from a PUBLIC beach, just like you or I could do (and many passers by often DO do). Even if this Oxman was being intrusive, guess what? You don’t have an excuse to order your strongmen – you know, people who have actual strength, not your thirsty ass attempt at muscles – to cause bodily harm to someone else. If he thinks that’s okay, then it should be okay for me to walk up and punch him in the neck for being so annoying. Oh, right, I forgot Orlando Bloom already tried that. Shame he missed.
August 20, 2014 at 12:00 pm by Jennifer
Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber will never quit each other. It just won’t happen. Neither of them have the sense God gave them and their idiocy is masquerading under the misnomer “love”. Speaking of love, they spent all weekend gazing into each other’s eyes and promising the moon and the stars, apparently – at least according to TMZ:
Sources close to the couple tell us J.B. and the Gomes spent the entire weekend together … and it was filled with lots of “I Love You” talk on both ends.
It’s been less than a week since they got back together … but we’re told they’ve already started calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend again.
As we previously reported … Biebs and Selena went to church together last week … they say to clean up their acts. Makes sense …our sources say they did wholesome things like hiking and hanging out at home.
We’re told Justin is doting over Selena — almost like a servant … and she likes it a lot.
LOL, went to church together. Are these two actually serious? Justin will forever mack on any woman that will give him a second glance in order to validate the manhood he wishes he had. Selena will forever throw herself right back at Bieber because she seemingly has low self-esteem and no self-respect. It’s a vicious cycle and one that I’m exhausted of.
And yes, I used an old ass photo on purpose because it’s hilarious and corny, just like they are.
Oh, and just another bit of “news” – Justin did the ice bucket challenge and further challenged Barack Obama and Ellen DeGeneres:
August 18, 2014 at 7:00 am by Jennifer
It seems like everybody who’s nobody (or should be nobody) was in Ibiza last week for designer Riccardo Tisci’s birthday celebration. Justin Bieber was there, as were the Kardashians and Jenners and supermodels like Kate Moss. It seems young Justin thought he could be well in with Kate and sauntered up to her at the party with all of his undeniable ~*sWaGgEr*~… only to be rebuffed and told off. YAAAAASSSS!
From The Telegraph:
“Kate had a huge go at him and told him he needed to behave,” reports The Sun. “She was giving Bieber some choice words like a teacher after the singer asked to be introduced.” All while wearing a very responsible outfit of latex underwear and a fishnet dress. Just like a teacher.
“He’d gone up to say hi to [Kate] like his usual cocky self, expecting her to gush over him,” the source continues. “It was quite a slap in the face.”
It’s unfortunate that it wasn’t an actual slap in the face, but we’ll take what we can get, I suppose. I love that he really thought Kate Moss was going to buy his bullshit, though. Kate has seen and done it all and does not have time for that nonsense. Move along, little boy.
August 7, 2014 at 7:30 am by Jennifer
It was a star-studded event in Ibiza the other night for Italian fashion designer Riccardo Tisci‘s birthday party. By “star-studded”, I mean a bunch of washed up supermodels and wannabes (nearly the entire Kardashian / Jenner family was there, for example) taking too many Instagram pictures to prove how awesome and special their lives are. Justin Bieber was there, too, and took a ton of pictures with the aforementioned Kardash/Jenner clan. The above photo, for instance, was posted along with the caption: “@kendalljenner @kyliejenner who’s your daddy”, which… no. Just no. I don’t even want to pretend or joke about Justin Bieber fucking Kris Jenner, thank you.
While it’s all fun and games to joke about sleeping with someone nearly 3 times your age, Justin might actually be having a relationship with the one member of the family who seems to hate the others: Kendall Jenner. Word on the street (internet) is that they had a nice hook-up, but not for the first time, because I think they were linked several months ago, as well (or am I just confusing Justin with Harry Styles?).
From Page Six:
While Bloom was turned away from Tisci’s party, Bieber, 20, seemed to score with Kardashian’s sister, Kendall, 19.
Spies at the Beats by Dre-hosted bash said “they were flirting all night” and left together. “Bieber looked like he didn’t have a care in the world.”
Kendall, girl, you were just getting likeable. Don’t do it to yourself.
Meanwhile, Kim Kardashian tried to stay relevant by posting endless amounts of photos of herself looking like an extra from Willy Wonka, leading her followers to ask why she doesn’t seem to spend a single minute with her infant child rather than traipsing around the world partying.