Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Usher will punch Justin Bieber in the chest if he has to

justin bieber usher

No one seems to be controlling Justin Bieber, or even offering him some friendly advice and guidance on how not to be a total dickwad for the rest of his life. His mother’s too busy cashing the checks and spreading her pro-life message across the country, Scooter Braun is too busy contemplating how he’s a grown man with a nickname after a toddler’s bike and Usher… well, he’s finally ready to step up to the plate. He’ll beat the shit out of Justin… you know, if need be.

From Billboard:

Usher is realizing there are limits to his influence, especially when it comes to Bieber’s current behavior. “Our relationship is more man-to-man now,” he says. “He’s making his own decisions and it’s important to show support. I can say I’m not happy with all the choices my friend has made, but I’m supportive of him. I try my hardest to give as much positive reinforcement as I can. I’ll punch him in the f—ing chest when I need to, and give him a hug and kiss when I need to. It’s more than just mentoring. I love the kid.”

Well… okay. I guess there are sometimes when you just need to “punch [someone] in the fucking chest” or whatever. Sure, I’ll go for that. That will definitely work. Sounds like a bit of the blind leading the blind here.

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Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez break up… again

selena gomez justin bieber

I think this is about the 57th time I’ve had to write that headline. That’s right: Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez have broken up. Again. No idea what happened – one second he was cooking her meals and things were honky dory. Then they went on vacation together (as seen above) to St. Martin and things went seriously downhill.

No one really knows what happened, but by the time they got to the airport to leave, they were both clearly in a bad mood and they took separate flights out. Justin headed to Paris, where he was photographed having a champagne dinner with Kendall Jenner, and Selena went home and emo tweeted the following:


kidding me

WHEN WILL THIS MADNESS END?

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Justin Bieber needs surgery after cliff diving accident

justin bieber

Another day, another instance of Justin Bieber doing something idiotic – only this time, he may be paying the price for it. You see, young JB thought it’d be a good idea (after a long day of trying to skateboard?) to go cliff diving, only things went wrong and he busted his eardrum, causing damage that probably needs to be corrected with surgery.


Don’t worry, though – he won’t let that stop him from terrorizing YOUR eardrums! He’s still planning to make new music.


I wish his eardrum could “back us up” forever so we never had to hear from this little shit again. I doubt we’ll get that lucky.

Experiences like this should teach him some valuable lessons in risk assessment, reckless behaviour, etc, but we all know he’ll continue to do stupid shit for the rest of his life, so whatever.

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Justin Bieber embarrassed himself on a skateboard

justin bieber skateboard

Justin Bieber seems to be one of those people who’s so up his own ass that he automatically assumes he’s a genius at anything he puts his hand to. Case in point: skateboarding. This idiot can barely stay on the board, let alone do any tricks on it, but he still felt confident enough to go to the legendary Venice Skate Park in California to show off his “skills” to the masses. He didn’t even seem to care when he got laughed at for failing a simple trick about fifteen times… but ignorance is bliss, I suppose.

I think it’s hilarious that he got so hyped after FINALLY landing one that he had to rip his shirt off immediately. Please, spare us.

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Justin Bieber cooks dinner for Selena Gomez

justin bieber selena gomez

Justin Bieber may be beginning to look like a bit of a meth addict, but Selena Gomez just can’t hop off his dick for longer than five minutes, so they’re officially back together and happier (?) than ever. To show what a great boyfriend he is, Justin decided to cook Selena some lunch and post a video of his skills on Instagram, as you do.

Here’s what I want to know: Why is Justin Bieber allowed to handle a knife? I feel like he needs those blunt scissors you give kindergartners that don’t actually cut anything besides construction paper.

Countdown to these two breaking up again. What do you give it, a week? Two? I sure do wish Selena would start loving herself – or at the very least respecting herself.

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Justin Bieber stripped at Fashion Rocks and it was awkward

justin bieber

I’m not sure what the bigger angle of this story actually is: the fact that Justin Bieber stripped on stage at Fashion Rocks or the fact that he apparently can’t read very well. Both things are true, both things are awkward, both things make me want to claw my eyes and ears out even more than usual.

The best part of this whole thing is the guy taking the video. Otherwise, this is my reaction (thanks, ONTD!)

britney

I guess at least the ‘roids are working?

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Justin Bieber hurt his wittle wrist

justin bieber wrist

Justin Bieber is a fucking terror behind the wheel of a car (or ATV) and has been causing accidents left and right. Hell, he was even arrested for wreckless driving and assault last Friday, and it seems JB himself has been hurt as a result of his own behaviour since he was treated yesterday for a broken wrist in Canada.

From TMZ:

We’re told Bieber went to the Stratford General Hospital in Ontario to have his wrist checked out. According to our sources, it turns out he suffered a sprain.

It’s unclear if Bieber injured his wrist in the ATV accident … or if he hurt it trying to reach something on a really high shelf. Ya know, cause he’s tiny.

It’ll take this kid getting paralyzed or doing it to someone else (or worse, killing them) for him to get it through his thick skull that driving a car is not a joke. I’m certainly not wishing anything horrible on him, but Bieber seems like one of those actual idiots who would only get his head out of his own ass if there was some kind of extreme tragedy.

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