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7And She Had Fun Fun Fun ‘Til Her Daddy Took 5 of Her 7 Outrageously Expensive Cars Away

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Britney’s dad is making her ditch some of her cars.

Brit currently owns seven, each of which is worth, individually, more than your life. Seriously. Ask your insurance agent.

A court granted the singer’s father on Monday the power to “sell or dispose of” an undisclosed number of her seven cars.

Lawyers for Jamie Spears stated that the cost of maintaining the fleet of vehicles was too expensive and that the sale of “a certain of” her cars “will save substantial expense to the conservatorship estate.”

“Dispose of”? Um, if you’re going to take one of Britney Spears’ cars to the local landfill, call me first. I’ll handle that for you.

March 19, 2008 at 9:27 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Britney Spears

21Do We Have Another Lindsay Lohan on Our Hands?

Natalie Dormer at Season Two Premiere of the Tudors, Pictures, Photos

Natalie Dormer at Season Two Premiere of the Tudors, Pictures, Photos

The red hair? The sassy poses? The pseudo-pout? The totally uncalled-for use of dark floral prints?

Hm.

Here’s 26-year-old Natalie Dormer on the red carpet for season two of The Tudors, where she plays Anne Boleyn.

If this chick wanted to make some real cash, she could probably strip at bachelor parties as a Lindsay lookalike. I’d say she could do Lindsay porn flicks, but, you know, Lindsay’s pretty much got that angle covered herself.

March 19, 2008 at 9:17 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Natalie Dormer

11If You Don’t Have a Perfume Line You May as Well Just Curl Up in a Hole and Die Because You Clearly Suck

Kimora Lee Simmons and Selita Ebanks at Launch of Baby Phat Fabulosity Perfume, Pictures, Photos

It’s shit like this that makes it even cooler that Lindsay Lohan is designing a line of leggings. Like, at least she’s doing something different.

Here’s Kimora Lee Simmons at the launch of her new fragrance, Baby Phat Fabulosity.

They should have called it Phabulosity. That’s the only way this thing could sound even more ridiculous.

She’s posing here with the beautiful Selita Ebanks.

March 19, 2008 at 9:10 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized

8Norwalk Football Rules!

Charlotte Ronson, Pictures, Photos

Olivia Palermo and Charlotte Ronson, PIctures, Photos

Sorry for my obsession with all things Ronson. Sorry you guys have to deal with it.

But here’s designer Charlotte Ronson at some party in NYC.

Those circles under her eyes are so dark they almost look like bruises. And standing next to socialite Olivia Palermo? Bad idea, Char. It almost seems like someone Photoshopped the two of you together. You can’t possible exist in the same space without the universe imploding.

Oh, Charlotte. Drugs are the new cool. Oh, wait. Except totally not at all.

March 19, 2008 at 9:05 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Charlotte Ronson

6Working for Mel Gibson Must Be Really Stressful

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A construction worker at one of Mel Gibson’s homes hung himself either Tuesday night or Wednesday morning. The body was discovered Wednesday morning.

No one from Mel’s family is currently living in the Agoura Hills house.

March 19, 2008 at 8:58 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Mel Gibson

9Suicide is Bad, Mmkay?

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Pete Wentz has taken to the streets to try to get the message out that suicide is bad, and he’s doing this by letting kids everywhere know the even angsty, eyeliner-wearing, bisexual musicians aren’t safe from the grips of suicidal depression. You don’t say?

Pete tells the story of how he once attempted suicide, just after his band had finished recording their first major-label album:

“I got in my car. I remember I was listening to Jeff Buckley doing Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” and sat there and took a bunch of [anxiety drug] Ativan in a Best Buy parking lot. And I called up my manager because I was, at that point, completely out of my head with Ativan. And I was talking to him and I was slurring my words, so he called my mom and my mom called me and she came and got me and we went to the hospital.”

You tried to kill yourself by overdosing on pills, Pete? What are you, a chick?

Anyway, I’m poking fun at this, because that’s my job, but there’s nothing funny about teenage suicide. I lost more than one friend that way as a teenager and college student. Pete is working with Half of Us, a foundation whose goal is to raise awareness about mental health issues on campuses across the country. And I think that’s awesome. They have contact information for most major universities on their website. Your school can and will work with you to treat depression at little or no cost to you.

Use this resource, people, and pass it along to your friends.

March 19, 2008 at 2:45 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Pete Wentz