Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Yo! The Hills Raps

Ever wondered what those other dudes from Season 1 of “The Hills” who were buddy buddy with Jason were doing now that their brief moment of fame has ended? We just thought that they were playing nice with Jason for the cameras, but in this moving music video tribute we see that they are saddened by Jason’s recent move to prison.

I find it funny that they a) refrence PerezHilton so they can get on the site b) are “actors” yet have resorted to making YouTube parody videos and c) shower naked together in the video.

Rosie Rocks Star Search

Amidst all the shit Rosie’s been giving AmIdol lately, it’s come to my attention that she got her start on Star Search. So of course I had to look for a YouTube clip of it. And I found one! I think this is probably an All-Stars show or something — there don’t seem to be judges or stars awarded. But still. Rosie is much thinner, much nicer, and wearing cute make-up. Where did this Rosie go? (Am I, like, so bad for feminism or what? Rosie! Lose weight! Be pretty! Be nice! You were so much better when you were conforming, darling.) Enjoy!

Late-Night Links

Hilary Duff takes some shots at Nicole Richie in her new album. Ah, it’s just like the old Nas vs. Jay-Z days. [Ninja Dude]

If you thought Drew Barrymore was a pedophile’s dream come true in E.T., you should see her now! [Mollygood]

Madonna always sees to it that her baby has a Kabbalah bracelet, but she’s not so meticulous about a car seat. [A Socialite's Life]

American Idol producer Nigel Lythgoe isn’t racist or weightist, but he sure does hate you, Rosie O’Donnell. [Yeeeah!]

Remember when Isaiah Washington was the drama queen on the Grey’s Anatomy set? That seems like so long ago, but he’s handed his tiara to Kate Heigl. [popbytes]

Blind item: Which glittering bicoastal couple had to pretend to break up for two months because the glamazon actress broke his nose during a cocaine-fueled fight? [Celebrity Smack]

Dolce & Gabbana reluctantly agrees that, okay, maybe gang rape isn’t sexy. But then is it okay with everyone if they move forward with their new zoophile campaign? [Agent Bedhead]

Kevin Federline thinks coverage of his 29th birthday party is worth $25,000. Maybe if the gift bags include strands of Britney’s hair… [SOW]

Madonna’s new H&M commercial. [Warship]

Brady Scores Again?

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Beet’s favorite man may be pulling double daddy duty in the near future. Yep, Tom Brady might have gotten his gal pal Gisele Bundchen pregnant too.

A Brazilian site says she’s two months into the pregnancy which means Bridget’s baby would still win the coveted “first born” and Tommy Jr. label. Whew!

I am not going to moral police in the slightest here. The guy is rich, his girlfriends are rich, the kids will be born into the 99.9999 percentile of wealth, looks, athleticism, and access. I want to be either of those kids, so rock on. I’ve also taken an informal poll of every guy I know and if any of us were Tom we’d get both of these girls as pregnant as possible as often as possible.

That said, Tom’s offensive line might want to start providing him more protection in the bedroom. Heeyoo!

The American site (reporting on the Brazilian site) is here.
The Brazilian site (if you speak Portuguese) is here.

Why the Other Sites Are Down Today

Via Warship:

DListed, Hollywood Tuna, Egotastic, Derek Hail, I’m Not Obsessed, Celebitchy, Celebslam, The Bastardly, Popoholic, Horny Oyster and Concrete Loop are just a few of the gossip websites hosted with the company Choopa, which is moving their servers today. Bloggers were told that there would be just a few hours downtime overnight and that all sites would be restored by 6 this morning. Obviously this hasn’t happened and most of the sites are still down. They hope to be up again tomorrow and are sorry for the delay.

So check back with them tomorrow!!!!

Deep Down Brandon Davis Is a Really Great Guy

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It sure is a slow news week. At times like this, I feel it’s my duty to sift out all the slow-news-week stories that are utterly unsubstantiated and/or inconsequential for you guys, and, as such, I won’t be bringing you updates on the Winona Ryder suicide that never happened, the new baby that Tom and Katie aren’t having, the Anna Nicole autopsy results that no one will report, or the pregnancy that Giselle Bunchen will never carry to term, because it’s hard to do that when you’re not pregnant.

Instead, I bring you what is easily the most confirmable story we’ve seen in days and days: Brandon Davis is a total asshole. Remember when Brandon was being his typical douchebag self at Paris Hilton’s birthday party a couple weeks back? Paula Abdul was there, and he was making fun of her heritage (“He kept on saying her last name over and over again, and then would insert his made-up version of an Arabic language,” reported a witness). Well, it turns out Brandon hails from a similar region of the world: his real last name is Zarif, and his father is a Turkish-American wine importer. Brandon uses his mother’s maiden last name — which is associated with his late grandfather, billionaire Marvin Davis — and, man, in retrospect, I’m sure that family wishes he’d stuck with Zarif.