Today's Evil Beet Gossip

God Save Us All; Nicole Richie Is Actually Pregnant

Nicole Richie is Pregnant with Joel Madden’s Baby

Fuck. Me.

If Nicole thinks this shit is getting her out of jail time, she’s dead wrong.

So everyone and their little sister mag has decided to announce today that they’ve “independently confirmed” that Nicole’s pregnant, and word on the street is that she and Joel will be getting married this summer (isn’t this fun, Hilary?). She kept the pregnancy a “secret” for the first three months (and she’s stayed uncharacteristically far from the spotlight for most of that time), but she’s now telling friends.

I could be an ass about this, but I’m not going to be. If this is your decision, Nicole, I wish you all the best. Please stay sober and please stay healthy.

Lindsay Lohan is Totally Fuckable Again

Lindsay Lohan 21st birthday Bikini Pictures Photos

Admit it. The little bitch looks good again. Seriously, why didn’t someone tell me earlier that taking a month off cocaine could have this big an impact on your looks? I’m totally going to try that.

Lindsay spent her 21st birthday at a Malibu beach pad with her family and some friends, including DJ AM, Calum Best, Samantha Ronson and Evan Ross (yup, that’s Diana’s son). She hung out until past two in the morning, when she was taken back to Promises.

Hooray for summer, and hooray for Lindsay Lohan sporting hot little nautical bikinis.

Lindsay Lohan 21st birthday Bikini Pictures at Beach Photos Lindsay Lohan 21st birthday party Bikini Pictures at Beach Photos

Fun New Summer Couples

Zach Braff Dating Drew Barrymore

Summer makes people do the craziest things. For starters, Zach Braff is dating someone his own age. After splitting from 23-year-old Mandy Moore earlier this year and spending the intervening months dating anything younger than her, the Scrubs star appears to be settling down with none other than Drew Barrymore. The two have been having a magical NYC summer, says Page Six, noting that “the lovebirds held hands strolling down Lafayette Street and that night made out at Beauty Bar.”

Braff and Barrymore’s same-age love hasn’t set any example for celebuspawn Kim Stewart, whose 62-year-old rocker dad just married a 36-year-old model. She’s been spotted around L.A. with Pamela Anderson’s ex, 44-year-old Tommy Lee. According to Page Six:

They met in London several months ago and are now dating. At last week’s opening of Pink Taco in L.A., Stewart was seen running out to Lee when he was denied entry after the fire department shut the party down. Our spy said, “They threw their arms around each other and she started saying, ‘Baby, baby,’ before kissing and leaving.”

Now all that’s left for the summer is for a much older woman to begin dating a younger man. Sharon Stone and Shia LeBoeuf, anyone?

I’ve Got a Bit of a Crush Really

Shia LaBoeuf

I don’t know what it is about Shia LaBeouf. I was way too old to watch “Even Stevens” yet I did all the time partially because of him. I also think that the only reason I enjoyed “iRobot” was him as well.

I don’t feel like too much of a pedophile because he is 21 but the older he gets the more foxy he seems to become. I don’t even really want to see “Transformers” but because of cutie pie Shia I just might.

He also is the anti Lindsay and Britney and lives a sober and under the radar lifestyle. A lot of young Hollywood should take note. If you work really hard and stay out of trouble…good things can happen.

“If I’m gonna party, I’ll do it at my house. And to say that I’ve never had a drink or smoked weed – coming from my family – is insane. But also, I know what it does if you get out of control. I know how hard it was to get my life to where it is. There’s so much riding that those small little joys of the high are not interesting to me.” -Shia in Vanity Fair

He has been tapped to be the “Next Big Thing” for a while and I think this is his summer. After this movie he will be in the next Indiana Jones which will be huge for his star power.

Emmy Nom Shortlist Revealed

The folks over at the L.A. Times’ Envelope were the lucky recipients of some assorted BlackBerry messages from judges at the Emmy contenders panel screening over the weekend, and, based on that input, they’ve compiled a list of the top ten contenders in the two key categories. They were also kind enough to point out some of the snubbed series in these categories. From their site:

Boston Legal
Friday Night Lights
Grey’s Anatomy
The Sopranos

Not Nominated:
Rescue Me
The Tudors
The Shield
Brothers & Sisters
Gilmore Girls
Battlestar Galactica
The Riches

Desperate Housewives
My Name is Earl
The Office
Thirty Rock
Two and a Half Men
Ugly Betty

Not Nominated:
The New Adventures of Old Christine
How I Met Your Mother
Everybody Hates Chris

Perhaps most amusing are the comments they actually received from the judges. Says one judge:

“I gave my number one vote to ‘Lost.” It was by far and away the best thing in the room in my opinion, followed by ‘Grey’s Anatomy.’ I didn’t think I was going to be able to make it through ‘Rome.’ That show is absolutely stroke inducing. A minute more and I would have cracked.”

The same judge says: “’30 Rock’ would win with [their submitted episode]. Watch out for that show. That’s all I have to say. Haha. I wasn’t really even that much of a fan before today.” That’s right, folks. The people choosing your Emmy winners are the same people haphazardly typing “Haha” into their BlackBerries.

Shedding further light on all the MFA thesis analysis that goes into these decisions, another judge notes that he “thought ‘Entourage’ was the best. I ranked it number one, but maybe that’s just because I love the show so much as a regular viewer.” He put ‘The Office’ “somewhere in the middle — I can’t remember.”

Good God, people. Joan Rivers puts more thought into analyzing the dresses people wear to the Emmys than you put into choosing the winners.

The Emmy noms will be formally announced on July 19.

Links Links Links

Shia LeBoeuf is all like, “Yeah, I’d totally do Megan Fox, and you would, too.” Do you like how six months ago you wouldn’t have known who either of those people were? The magic of Hollywood! [Fatback & Collards]

You know, when she’s in a bikini, Eva Longoria is sort of flat-chested. I find a sick comfort in that. [Jordan Is Your Homeboy]

Carrot Top. Roasting Flava Flav. On Comedy Central. Soon. [SOW]

Fantasia Barrino has a clit piercing. Interestingly enough, so does Clay Aiken. [Bossip]

Honestly, Kate Moss, you’re dating a heroin addict. You can’t exactly be upset when he cheats on you. [Agent Bedhead]

Liv Tyler celebrates her 30th birthday with her husband and son. [Cele|bitchy]

Paris Hilton is wearing what might technically be called a one-piece swimsuit. Maybe she really is a changed person … [Celebslam]

Jessica Simpson’s new movie might actually — what’s the word? — suck. Come on. You didn’t need Joel Siegel to tell you that. [Derek Hail]

Paula Abdul’s new series reminds us what a trainwreck she is. [Pajiba]

Lindsay Lohan gets an iPhone and you don’t. But, then again, you got to drink on your 21st birthday, so, really, who wins there? [The Grumpiest]

Top Chef Host Padma Lakshmi Slices Salman

Top Chef Host Padma Lakshmi Divorces Salman Rushdie

Padma Lakshmi, perhaps best known on the Top Chef set as the resident herb enthusiast, is divorcing her much older husband, controversial author Salman Rushdie. A rep for Rushdie stated today that “Salman Rushdie has agreed to divorce his wife, Padma Lakshmi, because of her desire to end their marriage.”

The New York Post seemed to catch a whiff of trouble before the news officially broke. On June 29, they noted that “Lakshmi was spotted hanging out into the wee hours at the Rose Bar at the Gramercy Park Hotel with a well-known chef who was there without his spouse.” The kids at Gawker have decided this means Padma’s having an affair with Anthony Bourdain. All together now: Ew.

Here’s something funny: the permalink for this story on TMZ is the following:

This is, of course, hilarious, but the story actually ran on the site with the headline: “Padma to Rushdie: Pack Your Knives and Go,” which is less hilarious. I wonder why they changed the original headline.

Padma’s not the only Top Chef host to be married to a much older man; Billy Joel’s child bride, Katie Joel, hosted the first season, and we’re been hearing murmurings of trouble in their marriage over the past few months. Is there a Top Chef curse? Or is there just, you know, a Marrying a Much, Much Older Man Until You’re Famous and Wealthy in Your Own Right curse?