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18Lauren Conrad Is Pretty. Lauren Conrad’s Dress? Not So Much.

lauren_dress.jpg

LC wore an item from her new fashion line to her Letterman appearance.

You know how Arby’s is all like: “Arby’s is Different. Different is Good”?

I think it’s important people realize that’s just not a blanket statment. That’s particularly important to realize in fashion. Just because it’s different doesn’t mean it’s good. Ahem. Lauren. Ahem. You gotta admit, though, she grown into a strikingly beautiful and poised young woman.

The clip of Lauren on Letterman is below. You must go to around 4:15 where David Letterman actually uses the term “frenemies.” Too funny. The whole thing’s actually not a bad watch.

March 19, 2008 at 12:14 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Lauren Conrad

54Who Is Jared Murillo? And Why The Hell Is He Getting All Cozy with Ashley Tisdale?

Ashley Tisdale and Boyfriend Jared Murillo, Pictures, Photos

Ashley Tisdale and Jared Murillo, Pictures, Photos

Ashley and her new nose showed up to a taping of America’s Best Dance Crew, and she was looking awfully cozy with Jared Murillo, who’s apparently her boyfriend. He’s also … drum roll please … a back-up dancer!

It’s only a matter of time before Ashley marries this dude, pops out some kids, he records a rap album and before you know it she’s pounding umbrellas into paparazzi SUVs. I know how these things work.

I guess Jared just signed a contract with Warner Bros to be a part of a new boy band called V Factory.

V Factory?

What does the “V” stand for?

March 18, 2008 at 10:31 pm by Evil Beet

8Go Bindi, Go!

Bindi Irwin Modeling for Bindi Wear, Pictures, Photos

Here’s the always-adorable Bindi Irwin, walking the runway for her new line of eco-friendly kids clothes, Bindi Wear.

You can learn more about her collection here.

And, yeah, I do feel a little weird posting this immediately above the image of the Jenna Jameson vibrator. But some things can’t be helped.

March 18, 2008 at 10:23 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Bindi Irwin

239What Do I Do With This?

Jenna Jameson Velvet G Vibrator, Dildo, Pictures, Photos

Jenna Jameson Velvet G Vibrator, Dildo, Pictures, Photos

As discussed in the previous post, my friend and I ended up taking a little trip to Fascinations.

We purchased the implement pictured above.

It is the Jenna Jameson Velvet G. (Also available at the store: a fake version of Jenna Jameson’s vagina. Seriously. She sat for a cast and everything. There are pictures of it on the box. Weeeeird.)

This retails for $14.99.

Here’s our question: What the hell do you do with this? It vibrates and stuff, and I do realize that you’re supposed to stick it inside you, but at what angle? We refuse to try, lest we make the wrong decision and wind up vaginally injured. We looked for directions, but the only thing available in the box was a warranty. A warranty! They should warranty my damn vagina, selling something like this without instructions!

Any thoughts?

I promise I’ll get back to the gossip soon. I’m just in a porn mood tonight.

March 18, 2008 at 10:17 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized

37Let’s Talk About Butt Plugs

This is a picture of a butt plug

I know we normally just talk about celebrities on this blog, but this is so funny I just had to share.

I was having dinner with a friend tonight, and we were like “What should we do later tonight?” and somehow the suggestion of going to a sex toy store came up. And we’re cracking up already, like, “What are we going to buy at a sex toy store?” And my friend was like “Butt plugs?” And I almost died laughing, like, “What do people even do with butt plugs anyway?”

So we looked it up on Wikipedia, and the entry was pretty much the funniest thing I have ever read. I’ve included the majority of it here, with my favorite parts highlighted:

Butt plugs (or anal plugs) are sex toys designed to be inserted in the anus and rectum for sexual pleasure. In some ways, they are similar to a dildo, but they tend to be shorter, and to have a flared end to prevent the device from being lost inside the rectum. (It is generally ill-advised to use a standard dildo anally, since it may get stuck, requiring medical extraction.)

The users of butt plugs include men and women of all sexual orientations.

Unlike the vagina, which is closed off by the cervix, the rectum leads to the sigmoid colon. Objects which are inserted into the rectum can therefore potentially travel up into the bowel: the flared end on a butt plug exists to prevent this.

In addition, the lower bowel above the rectum is easily perforated. For this reason, butt plugs tend to be shorter than dildos, and their range in size tends generally to be a variation in circumference. They must also be very smooth to avoid damaging the rectum or bowel. In order to get them into the rectum, they most commonly have a general profile of a round-ended cone which then narrows to a “waist” which locates itself at the anal sphincter, with the flared part outside the body, preventing the butt plug from slipping further into the body. The sphincter muscle will hold the plug in place by the waist, preventing the plug from slipping out unintentionally.

As with other activities involving anal penetration, such as anal sex, large amounts of sexual lubricant and a slow gentle approach are needed to insert or remove a butt plug.

Butt plugs are often used covered by condoms for hygiene, and to allow for the easy disposal of any feces that they may come in contact with. Nevertheless, they should not be shared with other people, due to the risk of blood-borne diseases, including HIV that can arise from the transfer of body fluids from one person to another. These should also never be used to stimulate any area other than the rectum, though they often are.

A butt plug is not necessarily confined to only anal stimulation. Butt plugs may be transferred and rotated to and from the rectum, vagina, and mouth. [Ed -- who exactly is transfering the butt plug from the rectum to the mouth?] This is quite an unsanitary way to engage in sexual stimulation unless certain precautions are made; such as cleaning the butt plug in an anti-bacterial fashion by e.g. alcohol, the vagina being covered in plastic wrap, the buttplug being covered by a condom (which is removed before any transferring takes place), and other various methods. If these measures are not taken, fecal matter may be passed to other parts of the body causing sickness, infections, and a malodorous scent. Though these ill side effects may take place, some butt plug users will still take this risk.

Seriously, people! BE SAFE OUT THERE WITH YOUR BUTT PLUGS!!!!

Really, though, have any of you ever used butt plugs in your sexual relations?? Why? I wanna hear stories, kids!

March 18, 2008 at 8:36 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized

2Jewno!

L. O. L.

March 18, 2008 at 8:12 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized