Today's Evil Beet Gossip

So You Think You Can Dance: Week 2

Week 2 in “So You Think You Can Dance.” I’m breaking it down this week. I’ll recap a bit of last week since I was cheering on the Beet in Lala land. This year this show really rocks the house and the dancers are the best yet. If you aren’t watching this show then I have no idea what you are watching. “On The Lot” blows and other than my fascination with “Army Wives” we are in the doldrums of summer television.

Lauren and Neil- Neil and Laura are a fun youthful little couple. Last week their Samba was adorable but just a little too cutesy for the judges. This week they do Hip-Hop and they are quite awesome at getting down with their bad ‘selves. Lauren seems a bit inhibited by her weird 80s prom outfit that they have put her in and Neil kind of rocks her in the performance. He’s got an electric smile and really hits all of the moves. They throw in a few acro tricks for him and are shockingly good and I find myself really enjoying the performance. I’m kind of nostalgic however for Benji and Donyelle’s Hip-Hop last year because it was so fun to see them flirt and interact. This Hip-Hop routine seems kind of like they are both in their own little worlds. Mia lost a lot of Lauren in the performance and Mary really thinks they are getting a good chemistry. Nigel is impressed at how the night has started. I’m a bit sad because usually Mary is a bit Paula drunken crazy and tonight she seems a bit tame.

Jessi and Pasha- These two dancers are so freaking sexy. Pasha is a Russian Ballroom Champion and Jessi has a cool funky earth mother style. They are so well matched and have enough chemistry that last week their waltz was heavenly. This week they are given Jazz and Tyce choreographs one of the cooler routines I’ve seen in the history of this show. It combines Pasha’s sex appeal with Jessi’s earth mother sexy and once again they mesh beautifully. They are totally committed to this weird tribal bird dance and are perfectly in sync the whole time. Pasha now officially is the “dancer that all the girls want to have sex with” in the competition. Those Russian Ballroom boys really do it for me. Mia thinks they are just amazing and is quite impressed at Pasha’s growth. Mary also thinks it is terrific and is just taken by Jessi’s unique style. Nigel loves them as well. I think he has a bit of an old man crush on Jessi.

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Despite the upcoming Spice Girls reunion, Victoria Beckham released a new track with Nas, who, last I checked, was not credited anywhere on “Wannabe.” [Bossip]

Did Paris Hilton engage in some manner of sexual activity with Jack Osbourne. No, no, of course not. But she can’t defend herself from jail, so let’s just assume she did. [Yeeeah!]

I don’t know who Natasha Hamilton is or why she’s famous, but now at least I know what her bare breasts look like. [Drunken Stepfather]

Jude Law is occasionally wasted. [Cele|bitchy]

Katherine Heigl is creating a line of “fashionable scrubs for healthcare professionals.” [POTP]

Check out the new music video from Rihanna, for “Shut Up & Drive.” [popbytes]

Fox’s Hell’s Kitchen is the latest reality series being put under the microscope for not being 100% “real.” [Geno]

Jennifer Aniston attends a book party, which I guess is kind of like reading, right? [Holy Candy]

Jessica Biel does GQ. [Derek Hail]

Someone allowed Pete Doherty into a Disney function. [Agent Bedhead]

I Don’t Get the Shia Thing at All

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He’s been deemed the next big thing by everyone in the world. And yet, he is incapable of taking anything even approaching a good photo. And trust me, I didn’t cherry pick the worst ones, they are all like this. He looks like a goober in every single shot.

Weird stuff. This is at some Transformers function, which sort of explains why women are sporting giant helmets and camo. No wait, it still doesn’t explain it. Click on more odd photos if you’d like, but I warned you.

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Today I Mourn

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This is bad news for Uncle Spiteful Lars:

The O.C.’s Kelly Rowan Engaged to Billionaire

Um… no deal. This bastard is the tenth richest man in the world. I’m not even the tenth richest person in my cubicle. Frustrating. And now he’s marrying Kiki Cohen. What kind of world is this? Are we all doomed to having our dreams crushed by Canadians? Yes, that’s right, I forgot to mention that he’s Canadian too.

Ok, admittedly she does look a little like a Worf from Star Trek: The Next Generation here with the odd head veins but I still found her hot in the right light/scene.

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Spice Girls Urged Not to Reproduce

Spice Girls Reunion Told Not to Get Pregnant

Finally! Someone said it to their faces!

With a reunion imminent (and seemingly inevitable), the Spice Girls’ manager, Simon Fuller (yes, the guy who produces American Idol), has laid down a list of rules for the girls. The Sun got their hands on it. Among the list of do’s and don’ts: “Do not become pregnant – please!

Seriously! Five of you is enough. The remainder of the rules are vaguely reminiscent of a “Class Rules” poster my third grade teacher tacked to the wall, with violations resulting in one’s absence from recess.

Do not get into spats between yourselves over plans and decisions – is it worth it?

Respect each other’s personal lives and commitments.

Respect each other’s views.

Do not talk about money that you will potentially earn from the reunion.

Talk about memories of the Spice Girls with affection and pride.

Raise any queries with Nicki (Chapman) and myself at the scheduled meeting.

Do not confirm or deny any rumours until everything is in place.

Do not worry about schedules and time — this will all be arranged with everyone in mind.

So basically, like, you’re all in your 30s now. If you could not spoil a multi-million-dollar deal by squabbling like pre-teens, that would be awesome, mmkay?

Holy Shit It’s that Lesbian Chick from America’s Next Top Model!

Kim Stolz Lesbian Girl ANTM America’s Next Top Model

Remember this girl? Kim Stolz is her name. She made out with that Sara chick in the limo? And she was such a bitch to my adorable Lisa D’Amato. Oh, Kim, how fun of you to resurface!

Kim showed up at the Sundance Channel’s launch party for “Live from Abbey Road.” She’s not actually in the program, and she’s not actually, you know, famous, so I have no idea what she’s doing there or how she got an invite. But you gotta give the girl props for trying. She’s in good company, as Jamie-Lynn Sigler, Ben Harper and Aaron Eckhart also showed up.

Kim Stolz America’s Next Top Model Lesbian Pictures Photos Aaron Eckhart Sundance Abbey Road Pictures Ben Harper Sundance Abbey Road Launch Pictures Photos Ben Harper Sundance Abbey Road Launch Photos Pictures Jamie-Lynn Sigler Sundance Launch Abbey Road Pictures Jamie-Lynn Sigler Sundance Launch Abbey Road Photos

Lame and Lamer

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Brandon Davis and Scott Storch in the same photo.

Too much for me to handle. These trashy wanna be’s are in Miami. I guess Miami is where you go when clubs in LA stop letting you in. Really this picture made me throw up a little bit in my mouth.

I guess they have stuff to talk about. Like how they both tried to bone Lindsay Lohan and how she turned them both down. Brandon because he was too greasy and Scott because even though he bought her a bunch of ice he still strikes you as that dorky kid from Freshman year with ill fitting pants and a rolley backpack.