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5Britney Spears and the No Good Very Bad Day

Britney Spears in Car Crash, Pictures, PHotos

Here’s Britney pouting in her car after she caused what the photo agency is calling a “three-car pileup.” This is probably a little exaggerated, as she actually just rear-ended the car in front of her in heavy traffic, and that car hit the car in front of it, and all of them were perfectly capable of driving to a nearby gas station and chatting with police. No one was injured.

Britney was out for a spin with her bodyguard, who took over the driving duties after the accident.

April 13, 2008 at 7:04 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Britney Spears

7Don’t Buy Animals From Pet Stores!!!!

Ricky Schroder and Daughter Leaving Pet Store, Pictures, Photos

Here’s Ricky Schroder and his daughter leaving a pet store in Malibu after playing with the puppies.

Seriously, Ricky, I had to learn this the hard way. Don’t make your daughter go through it, too!!!!!!

Adopt from rescues and shelters, people!!!!!

Oh, and if you didn’t read the Ricky Schroder story I posted a couple weeks ago, you must.

April 13, 2008 at 6:51 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized

4All Dolled Up

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It’s rare that we see Rosie O’Donnell wearing makeup for an off-camera appearance, but she got herself all done up for Comedy Central’s autism fundraiser on Sunday night in NYC.

She’s still not a hottie or anything, but it’s a huge improvement.

April 13, 2008 at 6:35 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Rosie O'Donnell

4The Strangest Things Show Up in My Inbox …

Mamie Gummer, Meryl Streep’s Daughter, Loft Olympics, Pictures, Photos

Meryl Streep’s daughter, Mamie Gummer, participating in some manner of “Loft Olympics” in NYC.

“Hipsters do the darndest things…” says the tipster.

Loves. It.

April 13, 2008 at 10:22 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Mamie Gummer

34True Love!

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Look, I know a lot of you feel that I should leave the civilians out of this blog, and normally I do, but Cynthia Nixon’s girlfriend, Christine Marinoni, is so fundamentally unattractive that I just can’t stop myself from pointing it out every time I see her. I’m sure she is a wonderful, beautiful person, but do you know what this picture reminds me of?

Remember that scene from The Wedding Singer where there’s that fat boy at the Bar Mitzvah? And no one will dance with him and he’s sad? And then Adam Sandler grabs the mic and tells hottie Drew Barrymore to pick the boy she’d most like to dance with? And they’re all begging her to pick them, but she picks the fat boy and dances with him and he’s all happy? Yeah. That’s what comes to mind here.

But in some ways I have to give Cynthia props for obviously looking beyond traditional, shallow values. This is obviously the real thing, and I guess I’m happy for them. I’m sure Christine is a really wonderful person, and I can’t really sit here and talk shit, as my insistence on finding a man who is funny, smart, interesting, caring, honest, loving and also ridiculously hot has resulted in me being single forever. I guess at some point I might have to let go of the “honest” criterion.

April 13, 2008 at 12:54 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Cynthia Nixon

21As If On Cue …

Pamela Anderson at Sons’ Baseball Game, Pictures, Photos

I just got done talking about how Linda Evangelista is aging gracefully and beautifully, and I come across these pictures of Pamela Anderson, showing up at her sons’ baseball game in Malibu in what appears to be her underwear. I think I own a G-string with more coverage. Oh, I’m totally kidding. I don’t own any G-strings. I don’t understand the appeal. I don’t get girls who are like “Oh, G-strings are so much more comfortable!” Really? How can you say that? They go up your ass crack! Now that I think about it, I don’t think I’ve ever heard a girl say that when there wasn’t a guy around. I think chicks just say that to get men all worked up. When I want to get a guy all worked up, I don’t have to lie about my preferences in underwear. I’m just like, “Hey, wanna fuck later?” and it usually does the trick. But I digress.

Look, I give Pamela Anderson shit for dressing like a whore, but, when it’s on the red carpet, or at a Playboy event or something, it’s like, okay, Pam, I get it. This is your career. This is your schtick. It’s your income, and you want to hang on to it. Fine.

But at your sons’ baseball game?

Like, who exactly are you trying to give a boner to, Pamela? The fucking 10-year-olds on the field? Or their married fathers? Or is your next marriage going to be to a Little League coach? Or, better yet, a Little League referee? Think about it. Dressing like that for a kids’ baseball game is about as close to bona fide insanity as you get without conversing with armchairs. Jesus, Pam, you wonder why your relationships don’t work out …

[Image via Splash]

April 13, 2008 at 12:43 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Pamela Anderson