Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Blades of Glory Contest Winners!

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We want to offer a hearty thank-you to everyone who participated in our Blades of Glory contest on Wednesday. Normally, the majority of our correspondence from Evil Beet readers is hate mail from spelling bee champs, so it was refreshing to learn that we have a great deal of readers who are remarkably funny and grammatically competent. We received some amusing entries, our staff voted, and we’ve picked the winners.

GRAND PRIZE WINNER

From Paul

“Now that Lindsay Lohan’s father is out of jail, the only asshole he has to worry about is his daughter.”


RUNNER-UP

From Tracey

“Now that Lindsay Lohan’s father is out of jail, there is a vacancy with her name all over it!”

Congratulations to Paul and Tracey!!

Blades of Glory opens March 30.

Fashion Victim of the Week

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Mary Mary quite contrary what have you done with your hair. When you are fierce like Mary J you really shouldn’t be pulling off the same look as a little schoolboy. The hair is bad enough but coupled with the jacket and the shoes this look is a mess. Tweed jackets are only for young Harvard men and those chic Upper East housewives. This doesn’t work at all. When in doubt go glam, not mam.

A Letter to Posh

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I thank the Beet quite often for introducing me to The Gilded Moose. It is one of the funniest, smartest, snarky sites out there and today they published quite an amusing letter to Miss Posh Spice who recently moved into Meg Ryan’s old digs in Bel Air.

Dear Posh Spice,

Welcome to Los Angeles. We are so excited to have you here! Also, congratulations of purchasing your new home in Bel Air, the one you bought (allegedly) from Meg Ryan for 20 million dollars. I bet for that much you get a full kitchen with a built in dishwasher (just think, no more dish-hands, Posh!)

But one part of this whole thing is troubling to us: WHERE WILL MEG RYAN LIVE NOW????!!! Is she just supposed to live in her car. Her car doesn’t even have a roof anymore after Puente ripped it off when he was on meth. Maybe she can stay with friends for a few months, but that gets old after a while. And Billy Crystal’s couch is not very comfortable AT ALL. Everyone knows that.

Look, all I’m saying is think about the people you’re displacing when you move into an area like Bel Air and start to gentrify it, okay. Meg Ryan has feelings too.

The Gilded Moose

When the Brits move in its all over…Where will fallen A-listers go now? Burbank? Glendale?

Regis is Ok!

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I love Regis and Kelly. I was very sad to hear that 75 year-old Regis, who is quite healthy for his age, was having heart bypass surgery. Kelly announced yesterday that Regis is doing well and already joking around with the nurses.

Regis has been on TV for 40 years which is amazing. When Regis was going off to the hospital, Kelly oftered to sponge bathe Regis which is a wee bit creepy. Here is the on-air banter with Kelly and guest-host Damien Fahey that sort of conjured up some disturbing images.

Kelly: I’m thrilled you’re feeling better…nursie-poo is coming with her sponge!

Damien: It would be nice to bathe him on-air, you know what I mean? We replace the desk with a tub, we run some warm water.

Kelly: That’s the pay-per-view special.

Watching 75 year-old man get sponge bathed on live TV…creepy guys. I love myself some Regis…but clothed not naked Regis.

Kate Looking Great

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Kate Bosworth with her dog on the set of her new movie “21″ is looking adorable. She is still a bit thin but after seeing pictures of her last year during the “Superman” junket I’m glad that she finally is looking healthy and happy.

Kate is a smart cookie and her new movie is putting that to use. “21″ is the true story of six MIT students who were trained to become experts in card counting won millions of dollars in Vegas. I love her darker hair and I hope this non-scary skinny Kate stays around for a while. I’m a bit embarassed that “Blue Crush” is one of my favorite movies but seriously, Kate’s a great actress and I’m glad she seems better.

Here are some pics of Miss Bosworth when she wasn’t looking so good.
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Sinbad: Still Not Dead

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It’s been over a month since we’ve seen a real “celebrity” death, so it’s about time we start inventing one. Enter Wikipedia, former home of extinct elephants, announcing that Jingle All the Way mega-star Sinbad kicked the bucket after suffering a heart attack. Luckily, the AP was able to track him down in heaven Los Angeles, where he managed to confirm that he is not, in fact, dead, but, now that you mention it, he would very much like to be reincarnated as a working actor.