Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Paris and a Penis…Like Peanut Butter and Jelly

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Another picture of Paris and some guy’s penis. Shocking huh? Media Take Out has pics of Paris holding the alleged penis of Cee Lo from Gnarls Barkley. It is Paris for sure, the wonky eye gives her away, but I’m not 100% sure that it is really Cee Lo. I guess it is a big deal because this guy is married with kids but that has never stopped good ole Paris before.

This picture is evidently from a sex tape which features Paris and the “Crazy” singer. I love that slang for giving head is “giving brain.” Paris needs all the brain she can get. I’ve heard that Joss Stone bangs for tracks but I think Paris forgot that her singing career ended long ago.

For the impressive NSFW photo click here.

Thanks to Dlisted for the censored pic.

Hilary Admits That “Baby Fat” Was Kind of a Lie

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So obviously when Hilary Duff got really skinny she wasn’t just “losing her baby fat” as she kept repeating to the media. Hilary says she felt pressure to lose weight which makes sense since the second any woman in Hollywood strays from washboard abs blogs put them on “bump watch.”

“I did get skinny. I’ve felt that pressure like everyone else in my position. When a newspaper comes out that says ‘Duff Puff – she must have gained 15 pounds’ or something like that, how would any normal person react? It’s so mean, but everyone keeps buying that stuff and talking about it, so it’s not going to go away.”

I’m happy to say Hilary does look more healthy these days. It is honestly sad that a lot of these young starlets compare themselves to fugs like Nicole Richie who just look ill rather than thin and fit. Hillary take a cue from ScoJo…work your womanly curves and let the cokeheads of Hollywood do their own thing.

[source]

I’m Not Saying Lindsay Lohan Doesn’t Do Cocaine

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But this, folks — Perez and everyone else who’s running this story — is not cocaine. This is light reflecting off big-ass diamond earrings. Story after story lately implies that sobriety didn’t really take for Linds, at least not this time around, but, come on, that doesn’t necessarily mean that anything appearing white and powderish within a 20-mile vicinity of her person is always cocaine. Sometimes it’s heroin.

Monday Morning Music

Right when I was graduating from high school I bought a Guster CD after seeing a video on VH1. Thankfully, they only really sold out that once and on the DL have been producing amazing tunes for over a decade that escape mainstream radio and TV play. I have been a big fan of this band ever since that first CD and also have gotten the chance to see them live about four times. If you haven’t seen them live you are missing out. The drummer plays his drums with his hands…it is kind of awesome to watch, espically after a few drinks. This song “Satellite” is another one of their super catchy tunes and the video is quite fun. If you haven’t checked out Guster yet, please do and you will be hooked.

Trying Hard to Care About Uma

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I think Letterman’s joke about Uma meeting Oprah was fine. He was noting odd two syllable names. Whatever.

Uma Thurman and hotelier Andre Balazs have ended their three-year, on-again, off-again relationship, a source close to the actress tells PEOPLE.

I might have dated her right after Kill Bill 2 wrapped shooting. Maybe. If she offered to teach me kung fu for instance. Now? Egh.

So to recap, Uma has broken up with some guy, unlike Oprah who is still with the guy who’s not into women.

Good.