Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Brit Brit Completes Rehab

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It’s been a long hard month for us celeb bloggers but they’ve sprung our muse loose and off the juice (why am I so pleased with this rhyme? no idea. OCD probably).

That’s the Brit is back!

LOS ANGELES (AP) — After almost a month of seclusion in an oceanfront rehabilitation center, Britney Spears has moved on.

Also, she’s just in time for K-Fed’s substance riddled bday bash:

A party on Wednesday at West Hollywood nightclub Eleven had been planned, in addition to a second bash on Saturday at Pure Nightclub in Las Vegas, said Federline’s publicist Marilyn Lopez.

Boo to the yeah! This will all go swimmingly I am sure. She’s fresh out of ‘hab looking to stay on the straight and narrow and her ex-husband is throwing a party.

To quote Lord of the Rings: Return of the King: “Meat’s back on the menu boys!”

Sorry for that quote. No EvilBeet and No EvilT means this here blog is under the sole control of dorkdom.

Justin Flips Off the Grammys

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Here’s an actual quote in Details Magazine from J-Tim:

I’m the nice guy who follows through on the things he commits to. But I don’t know if I’ll be going through that sort of thing again. I feel like the Grammys used me for ratings. And look at it-they were up 18 percent.

Holy crap! The Grammys USED Justin just to get ratings?? I am in a state of shock over here. I would have thought they wanted ratings to go down, maybe have him play an acoustic set with Creed or something. I just can’t believe that a TV show would blatantly push for ratings which drives their ad revenue which makes their budget which keeps them employed.

You guys over there at the Grammys are on notice. We’ll be watching you very closely at the Beet. If you pull any ratings stunts like this again, booking music acts, inviting an interesting host – well, we’ll be all over you.

The Details article has a lot of Justin cursing and saying things that require zero thought and less intelligence.. check it all out here.

AmIdol Recap

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We’re coming to ya live from the Idol-Dome!

Hey, Haley Scarnato is still on the show? How did that happen? Do you think the security guards get confused every time she comes to the sound stage? “No seriously, I’m on the show.”

Paula makes a joke about picturing Simon naked. I think she’s housed! Welcome back Paula, we’ve missed you so! The crowd cheers for the theme this evening, “The British Invasion” even though none of them were alive during it. Read the rest after the jump homeslice! Read More

Late-Night Links

Do you know what’s sad? I can tell you with a great degree of confidence that this latest picture of Lindsay Lohan’s lady-flower is not Photoshopped. How, you ask, can I be so certain of such things? Was I there? Did I take the picture myself? No, no. I’ve just been doing this for so damn long that I know what Lindsay Lohan’s vagina looks like. [Egotastic]

Britney’s getting out of rehab this week. Hide the umbrellas. [POTP]

The Melinda Doolittle School of Humility. [DListed]

Justin Timberlake is predictably humble in his Details interview. [Allie]

Amy Winehouse canceled her second Los Angeles concert (because she doesn’t have a drinking problem), but check out exclusive pics from the show she did do. [popbytes]

Ladies and gentleman, we have DNA. [Ninja Dude]

Ever since she’s starting hanging out with Paris Hilton, I’m increasingly comfortable with the image of Elisha Cuthbert trapped and suffocating. [The Blemish]

Natasha Bedingfield rocks a killer take on Snow Patrol’s “Just Forget the World.” [Perez]

Vince Vaughn takes his cocaine and alcohol addiction out on a an unsuspecting sushi restaurant. [Defamer]

OMG OMG OMG OMG YOU GUYS!!! PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN 10,008 IS COMING OUT SOON!!! You know what I’m most excited for? The plot. Ugh. Trailer. Because you guys care. [Bree @ Buzznet]

Naomi Campbell looks fierce in her orange city-bathroom-cleaning ensemble. Tyra Banks is totally masturbating to these pictures. [Celebitchy]

Alyssa Milano has very large breasts. [Drunken Stepfather]

Bill Murray…Yes, he is still alive.

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I don’t know if people care about Bill Murray anymore. If you do care I just saw him in Tony D’Napoli in New York. Here are four interesting observations.

1) He looks really old in person…like the hostesses were overheard going
“Dude, that Bill Murray guy looks like hell”
2) He had about 6 glasses of wine that I could see…
3) He wiped his face on his watiress’s apron
4) He kept going to the kitchen and at one point I saw him bring in his coffee cup

Now one might think that I’m trying to say that Bill Murray is a entitled celebrity. He actually was really funny and during his weird behavior seemed to just be trying to get people around him to laugh.
Watching celebrities in their natural habitat, weird but fun…espically when they are putting on a show because they know that you care.

Honestly I Would Run Over People Too

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Keanu Reeves newsflash!

RANCHO PALOS VERDES, Calif. (AP) — Keanu Reeves was behind the wheel of a Porsche that allegedly grazed a celebrity photographer standing in the path of the sports car, investigators said Tuesday.

What celeb photographer was taking a photo of Keanu? Was he lost? Doesn’t he take the “celebrity part” of his job seriously? What would a photo of Reeves fetch these days?

Do you think Keanu screamed “I’m NOT A GODDAMN CELEB ANYMORE!” before hauling ass off into the night?

The photographer fell to the ground and paramedics were called after Reeves’ car allegedly struck the man at 7:30 p.m. Monday, said Deputy Ed Hernandez of the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department.

“He grazed a paparazzi standing in front of his Porsche and the man fell to the ground,” Hernandez said.

You know that guy took a dive. C’mon. He fell down like a house of cards and started thinking lawsuit city. He’s already covering 8th rung stars and making minimum wage. We can safely say this guy isn’t a world beater.

The photographer, whose name wasn’t released, was taken to a local hospital for treatment of unknown injuries, Hernandez said.

Unknown equaling non-existent. Here is the kicker. Ready for it? You sure? Ok, enjoy.

He (Reeves) also plays in the band Dogstar.

This was listed as one of the things Reeves has done. Yep, snap them photos up boys! The public demands no less!

MTV Will Soon Be That Crazy Homeless Guy

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This is some sad ass news.

But the article is super fun so let’s probe (with our prober).

MTV’s Total Request Live is no longer totally live…. Two weeks ago, MTV began taping Total Request Live two days a week in an effort to save money.

Total Request Taped? No, the show’s title won’t be adjusted for the less-than-live days, spokeswoman Marnie Black said Tuesday.

TRL needs to save money. Presumably for soup.

I also need to salute the writer of this article, David Bauder for his hip use of slang. Check it out:

(TRL is where) Artists go to “drop” new music, movie stars to tout new films and celebrities just to stay celebrities

See how he did that? He made it approachable for the cool hipsters reading his “shizz.” He even quoted that monster “drop” so that you knew he was down with the slang.

This comes after the announced layoffs last month and it all adds up to one thing: Sucking killed the MTV star.