Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Paris Hilton’s Official Statement

Paris Hilton Surrenders and Goes to Jail

Paris Hilton‘s lawyers released a statement from her just after she turned herself into authorities and went to jail, two days before she was required to.

I am ready to face the consequences of violating probation. During the past few weeks, I have had a lot of time to think and have come to realize I made some mistakes. This is an important point in my life and I need to take responsibility for my actions. In the future, I plan on taking more of an active role in the decisions I make. I want to thank my family, friends and fans for their continued support. Although I am scared, I am ready to begin my jail sentence.

Sarah Silverman Disses Paris Hilton at the MTV Movie Awards

Aw, what a shitty way to make your “final public appearance” before surrendering two days early to authorities and going to jail. Sarah Silverman opened the MTV Movie Awards with a monologue ripping Paris Hilton to shreds — with Paris in the audience. Listen to the crowd go wild while Paris sits there trying not to cry.

I’m actually bummed that MTV only showed a few brief shots of Par-Par during this. Someone over there has tape of her face throughout the entire monologue, and that’s what I wanna see. Come on, MTV!!! Release that tape!!!

There had been buzz that Paris was actually going to present an award last night, which may have been untrue — or Paris backed out after Silverman’s live diss.

BREAKING: Paris Is In Jail!

Paris Hilton Goes to Jail

While she had until June 5 to begin serving her sentence, Paris Hilton surrendered to the LA County Sheriff on Sunday night, just hours after appearing on the MTV Movie Awards. (I will hopefully have that clip up soon.)

Paris left the Movie Awards and headed to her parents’ house. Around 10:30 pm, she was then driven, with her mom, sister, and her lawyer, to Twin Towers jail in downtown LA, where she officially surrendered.

Apparently several paparazzi agencies had assumed Paris would turn herself in early and had been hanging out around Lynwood. The sheriff was concerned that having Paris surrender there would present a safety hazard, so they had her surrender at Twin Towers instead.

Paris was driven from Twin Towers to Lynwood, where she is currently serving her sentence.

Video of Paris leaving her parents’ house to go to Twin Towers is here via TMZ, who gets props for being the only agency who thought to stake out her rents’ house (or they followed her from the Movie Awards — either way, good play). I love how she leaves the house with the car windows down, so everyone can get a very good shot of her concerned face.

Paris is set to serve 23 days at Lynwood, although she will likely get out earlier than that.

Good luck, Paris.

Links Links Links

John Travolta’s son is not autistic dammit, and the easiest way to prove that is to have another child. [The Blemish]

Courtney Love and Linda Perry rock House of Blues — I am so rooting for a Courtney Love comeback! [popbytes]

For the eight of you who watch Flip This House, one of its former real-estate investors is being accused of fraud. [Cele|bitchy]

Nicole Richie overheats Joel Madden’s beemer. That sounds kinda dirty. [Celebslam]

Day-um. Leann Rimes rocks her body for Shape. [Daily Stab]

Britney Spears has the classiest taste in bikinis. [Drunken Stepfather]

Ben Affleck continues his quest to be the most boring rehabbed celebrity ever, delivering a heart-warming commencement speech at a D.C. high school and respecting his commitment to the Make-A-Wish foundation. See, folks, this is what’s going to become of Lindsay Lohan if you all keep rooting for her to get healthy. [A Socialite's Life]

MTV invites everyone in LA to liveblog the Video Music Awards but me. :( Not cool, MTV. [LAist]

Jesus Lord, someone’s letting Kelly Osbourne do another reality TV show. [Agent Bedhead]

Alyson Hannigan’s got a new haircut. I don’t know why, but nothing can make me care about this girl. [Celebrity Puke]

Some baseball dude named “A-Rod” got caught sticking his A-Rod in someone other than his wife. Snore. Wake me when I’m male. [IBBB]

Yeah Okay We’ll Run the Pics of Lindsay Lohan with the Knives

Lindsay Lohan Knife in Mouth

Update: Page Six confirms that the other girl here is Vanessa Minnillo.

You’re all going to be searching for these pictures of Lindsay Lohan with a knife come Monday, so we may as well have them here. Frankly, I don’t find these as terrifying or shocking as some do — the girl’s a drug addict. She was drunk and high and playing with knives. Who hasn’t been there?

Anyway, News of the World can’t seem to get their story straight about this one. First, they say the pics were “taken just weeks before she was admitted to rehab for the second time” and later they say they were “taken four months ago.” I’m sure someone can do a hair color analysis and determine when they were taken, pretty much to the hour, but who cares? They were taken, and girlfriend was fucked up.

If this isn’t enough fun for you, News of the World is making up quotes again. A “friend from Lindsay’s inner circle” talks about her current stay at Promises: “On the first night she couldn’t stop crying. Since then she’s refused to follow the rules and keeps having hissy fits about people. In one of her group meetings she yelled that her friend Paris was a coke whore and couldn’t believe how stupid she’d been driving while banned. She said, ‘Paris thinks she’s above everyone. She’s not. Paris is a stupid cow and deserves what she gets’ … She saw a woman who is bulimic and said, ‘She’s like Nicole. What problems does Nicole have? The girl just needs to eat. Period’.”

Then the friend’s all like, “She cries all the time at what a mess her life has become and how she has behaved like a complete tart. The clinic even took her mobile from her to make sure she can’t call people who are a bad influence on her. But she went berserk so they gave her a new phone with only the numbers of her family, publicist and agent on it.”

This is such bullshit. First off, memo to NotW: Americans do not say “tart” and they do not say “mobile.” They say “asshole” and “cell phone.” So maybe Lindsay’s tattling BFF is British? Doubtful. More likely, she’s completely fabricated. And how on earth would she have all this info? If Lindsay’s having so much trouble using a cell phone, how is she getting in touch with these international pals? And why is she reciting to them exactly what she said in group therapy? Such, such bullshit. But feel free to pretend it’s real, because it’s fun that way.

Anyway, moral of the story: Lindsay Lohan is fucked up and needs help.

Enjoy the pics.

Lindsay Lohan Playing with Knives Lindsay Lohan Looking at Her Tits Lindsay Lohan Giving the Finger Lindsay Lohan Knife Picture

I Wonder How These Are Selling?


Just asking. How creepy is it to buy your little girl a Lindsay Lohan doll?

“I wanna be just like Lindsay. Sleep with lots of boys and look like I’m 30 by the time I turn 21. Please mommy! She is my hero! Can I go to rehab someday.”

I’m guessing mothers who buy these dolls for their daughters come from the Dina Lohan school of parenting.