Today's Evil Beet Gossip

They’re Remaking Adventures in Babysitting!!!

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I know I’m supposed to be on the gossip beat around here (and there’s some mind-numbing crap going on with Larry Birkhead and his ex-attorney and HKS and those pesky DNA tests if you really must know) but omg you guys they are remaking Adventures in Babysitting!!! Adventures in Babysitting is the greatest movie of all time, and I am sooo excited about this.

Disney brought on a writer, a producer, and apparently they are throwing Raven Simone (depending on how old you are, you know her from The Cosby Show or Cheetah Girls) and Miley Cyrus (if you’re my age, you know her from absolutely nothing, but apparently she’s the reason Hannah Montana sold so many damn albums last year, and, coincidentally, is also living proof that there exists a more ridiculous name than “Hannah Montana”) at the project.

The IMDB page is for IMDBPro members only, but luckily I am gullible enough to have plunked down the cash for such membership long ago. The project’s scheduled for a 2008 release, and it looks like Raven is playing the Elisabeth Shue role. The article in Variety claims the movie will be called Further Adventures in Babysitting, but the IMDB page suggests they’re keeping the original title (I hope IMDB is right).

On the heels of the announcement that the Sex and the City cast all signed on to do the movie — hooray! — it’s looking to be a wonderful 2008 in movieland for people like me, who love all the movies the critics hate.

Yes, Jonathan Rhys Meyers Has a Girlfriend

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And he obviously wants to make damn sure the whole world knows it. The psychopath hottie to Scarlett Johansson’s hypersexed hottie in Match Point and star of the new buzztastic Showtime series The Tudors walked into The Plumm nightclub with girlfriend Reena Hammer this weekend. According to Page Six, they couple “retired to a couch and launched into a frenzied make-out session as a crowd of revelers became voyeurs.” According to an on-looker, “it was really a scene. She straddled him, and they were at it for some time.”

Eventually, feeling confident that he’d convinced the world of his heterosexuality, JRM and Reena (who you don’t know from anything because she’s not famous and not even really that cute), got up and left the club without so much as buying a drink. Which is totally cool with the club, since everyone’s writing about them today.

I missed The Tudors last night, since idonthaveatelevisionrightnowandyoudontevenwanttogetmestartedonwhy, but apparently it is very very good and worth watching, even if its star is going to be doing obnoxious stuff like this to get written up in Page Six.

Mid-Morning Links

LISTEN UP MOTHERFUCKERS … It has been an awful week and an even worse weekend, and I’m sorry nothing got posted this weekend because mostly I was trying not to shoot myself in the head (always a bad idea), but we are motherfucking back. Bring it.

Brit-Brit and some hair follicles hit up the Lakers game, because what the fuck else do you do when you’re not drinking? [A Socialite's Life]

I hate to start off your week with such horrible news, but the Beckham’s reality show might not get aired, because Tom and Katie refuse to be a part of their televised circus … no one, and I mean no one, is going to out-circus TomKat. [Cele|bitchy]

Beyonce’s got some new videos. [popbytes]

Kim Stewart got to be famous; it’s Sean’s turn now, dammit!!! Unfortunately, he’s not pretty or BFF with Paris Hilton, so he has to take his pants off on the beach. But still. We’re writing about him, aren’t we? [ICYDK]

That girl who was starving for Sanjaya started eating again. He can’t be stopped! He won’t be stopped! He’s gonna win this whole damn thing. Learn to love it. [SOW]

You should watch the Oceans 13 trailer. Over and over again. For two hours or so. Because that’s pretty much exactly what the whole movie will be. [Bree]

Yeah, okay. Paris got that boob job. Because what was really holding back her career was a lack of sexuality. [Celebslam]

Who is Jude Law F**king Today?

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The real question is who isn’t he f**king? Jude has been linked to Lindsay Lohan (gross), Natalie Portman (way too good for him) and now Courtney Love’s yoga instructor. According to Courtney’s website Courtney said that she caught Jude and her yoga instructor in the act.

“[I] just found out my yoga teacher is f-ing Jude Law. She’s got a hot bod.”

You just found your yoga instructor having sex? That is a little odd. Was she early for her session and caught them doing downward dirty dogs. Jude seems kind of kinky. Honestly if I was a hot famous man I’d go the model route but to each his own. I remember back in the “Talented Mr. Ripley” days I would have totally hit Jude Law but he is heading into “rode hard and put away wet” territory.

Actually thinking about it, he and Lindsay would be a match made in horndog heaven.

Sex and the City Movie: It’s On!!!

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Hooray!!! It only took like a billion years, but apparently the cast of Sex & the City — including Kim Cattrall — have all signed on to do the Sex & the City film. All the deals were inked this week. Let’s hope they don’t screw this up …

What do you guys hope to see discussed/resolved in the film?