Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Morning Links

Woah, wait. You’re telling me there’s drama between Cardinals quarterback/playboy Matt Leinart and his baby mama? [Socialite Life]

Mary Louise Parker’s all like, “Look, guys, I won a fucking Emmy for this shit. And if I want to get butt naked, that’s exactly what I’ll do.” [popbytes]

Dina Lohan: “We are trying to strategically work out our next step.” Are you now? For your ex-husband, that strategic next step was Larry King. I’m sure yours will be Entertainment Tonight. Meanwhile, your daughter’s going to jail. [POTP]

The history of the drunk dial. [College Humor]

Honestly, Matt Dillon, where do you get off being angry at the one paparazzi on the planet who still wants to take your pictures? [Agent Bedhead]

I Guess That Was Luke Wilson’s Real Phone Number

Luke Wilson’s Phone Number, Prank by Johnny Knoxville

From Page Six:

LUKE Wilson had to change his cellphone number this weekend, thanks to an annoying prank by his pal Johnny Knoxville. The “Jackass” star found out Wilson was going to hang out at the Polaroid Beach House in Malibu for the Boost Mobile party Saturday and hired a plane to hover above the place with a banner that read: “Luke Wilson’s phone number 3105000082.” Apparently, it was his real number. It’s now out of service. But Wilson decided not to hang at the beach, probably because he had to deal with all the annoying calls.

Paula Abdul Won’t Be a Brat Anymore

Paula Abdul Fired from Bratz Movie

Remember all that talk about Paula Abdul choreographing the upcoming live-action Bratz movie? I know everyone was excited to watch a group of teenage actresses stumble across stages, burst randomly into tears, do the seal clap and trip over chihuahuas, but it looks like we may not be treated to that. Paula was informed that her services were not actually needed.

PAULA Abdul was fired via e-mail from the live-action movie “Bratz,” as a TV camera re corded her tearful reaction. On this week’s episode of “Hey Paula,” Abdul’s self-aggrandizing reality show on Bravo, the loopy “American Idol” judge is shown crying after she receives a message from real “Bratz” producers telling her that her services are no longer wanted. She had claimed she was the film’s choreographer, costume designer and executive producer. The episode shows perma-victim Abdul screaming, “How can they treat me this way?” Our source said, “Paula was not ever really a part of the movie, and she was a night mare to deal with. There was no way that was going to work.” A rep for Lionsgate said, “We love Paula, and we were sorry the partnership wasn’t able to come together.”

Heh. “Perma-victim.” That’s a really good way to describe Paula Abdul on that show.

A Few More Deets About Lindsay Lohan …

Lindsay Lohan Assistant is Tarin Graham

Got this tip in my inbox yestersday …

Lindsay Lohan’s assistant is named Tarin Graham,20. Her and her mother, live in Santa Monica where Lindsay hideout the night before she booked herself for her first dui incident. Tarin’s boyfriend is also a known cocaine and marijuana dealer. Tarin’s mother owns a new black escalade, the one lindsay was chasing them in.

Leave my email annonymous

I ignored it until Lindsay sent the following statement to Billy Bush at Access Hollywood:

“Yes. I am innocent… did not do drugs they’re not mine. I was almost hit by my assistant Tarin’s mom. I appreciate everyone giving me my privacy.”

So make of it what you will.

Rob Schneider as Lindsay Lohan on Jay Leno Last Night

I think Rob was originally scheduled to do the show to promote his film, We Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry. But when Lindsay Lohan ditched her spot on the show in exchange for a jail cell, everyone decided it would be much better for ratings if he showed up dressed in drag and pretended to be Lindsay. The end result was pretty funny.

I stuck Jay’s opening monologue (the part that deals with Lindsay) at the end of the clip, for anyone interested.

Matching The Simpsons Actors to Their Characters Using the Photos from The Simpsons Movie Premiere

I have been waiting FOREVER for the chance to do this! This is soooo exciting! Okay, you guys ready? Here we go!!

Dan Castellaneta as Homer Simpson at the Simpsons Movie Premiere in Los Angeles, Pictures and Photos

Dan Castellanata as Homer Simpson

Julie Kavner as Marge Simpson at the Simpsons Movie Premiere in Los Angeles, Pictures and Photos

Julie Kavner as Marge Simpson

Nancy Cartwright at Bart Simpson at the Simpsons Movie Premiere in Los Angeles, Pictures and Photos

Nancy Cartwright as Bart Simpson

Yeardley Smith as Lisa Simpson at the Simpsons Movie Premiere in Los Angeles, Pictures and Photos

Yeardley Smith as Lisa Simpson

See??? HOW MUCH FUN WAS THAT??!!!!!!

OMG that was soooo worth the wait.

While Rome Burned …

Samantha Ronson Shopping While Lindsay Lohan Deals with the Aftermath of her DUI

So what was Samantha Ronson — Lindsay’s BFF, drug dealer, photo pimp and sometime lesbian lover — doing while Lindsay was hiding out after her Tuesday morning DUI arrest?


SamRo was spotted at Dior and Hermes on Tuesday.

Maybe she was buying presents for Lindsay! Or maybe she just doesn’t care that Lindsay is totally and completely fucked. Or maybe, just maybe, she’s the only person in Lindsay’s life who’s not trying to leverage Lindsay’s pain to land herself an appearance on every entertainment news show and a quote in every gossip publication. Maybe.