Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Paris Hilton: “Take Your Laws and Shove ‘Em”


Remember in January when Paris Hilton (or her lawyers) pleaded no contest to “alcohol-related reckless driving?” She was sentenced to 36 months probation, alcohol education and $1,500 in fines. Her license was also suspended. Paris knew that, because of course Paris knew that. Hell, my grandfather probably knew that. It was all over the news. But when she was pulled over again in late February, speeding at night without her headlights on, her rep claimed she didn’t know her license was suspended. L.A. County prosecutors have had enough, and they’re asking a judge to revoke Hilton’s probation based on the February citation. If the judge agrees, Paris may be required to serve jail time.

“We’re confident we have sufficient evidence to prove that her license was suspended and that she had knowledge of that suspension,” said a spokesman for the city attorney’s office.

Paris’s rep, perhaps not surprisingly, declined comment.

She’s such a retard. You have all the money in the world and you’re still driving on a suspended license. Hire a driver for a year, genius.

Details on Grey’s Anatomy Spin-Off

While she made the very best efforts to keep the details of the Grey’s Anatomy spin-off quiet, Shonda Rhimes should know by now that no one on her set can keep their mouth shut about anything ever. So the deets leaked to the LA Times. Enjoy:

Following her recent disastrous romantic misfortunes, Addison (Kate Walsh) travels to Santa Monica to seek advice from her old medical school pals, Naomi (Merrin Dungey) and Jackson (Taye Diggs) whom she believes have it all: a beautiful teenage daughter, a great marriage and a highly successful health cooperative.

Addison quickly learns that Jackson, also a successful TV health guru, has divorced Naomi. During the visit, Addison also meets the rest of the gang at the cooperative: a widowed alternative medicine doctor, a self-doubting therapist, and a male gynecologist who knows little about women, and realizes she is on familiar ground.

Addison concludes that the personal lives of the people around her may be a mess, but professionally they stand out. (Sounds like those crazy interns, right?) So she decides to leave Seattle Grace behind and join the Oceanside Wellness Group team.

The sparse IMDB page also notes that Amy Brenneman (Judging Amy) and Chris Lowell (Veronica Mars) are attached.

Diddy Quote of the Day


“I’ve spent a lot of time with Kim in Paris, And it’s been perfect. As soon as we landed, we went straight to the Eiffel Tower, drank champagne at the top and just kissed and kissed. Then we went up to my suite and had tantric sex for at least 30 hours, ordering up whipped cream and strawberries while we were at it. As meticulous as I am with my work, I’m more meticulous with lovemaking. I like to do it for a long time. A lot of guys out there get married, and they still do their own thing. I don’t want to get married and fail.”

30 hours of sex sounds kind of boring if you are asking me. I think I would start making grocery lists and counting sheep. I have no idea how this girl puts up with him. I would take the child support and run because I feel like he has a lot more baby mama drama in his future. This Eiffel Tower love story makes me almost as ill as when Tom Cruise proposed to Kate (remember when he re-named her, ya that didn’t stick) last summer.

Diddy Knocked Up Danity Kane?

This story is really too good to be true. Rumors are circulating that Aubrey O’Day from “Making the Band”:Danity Kane edition is knocked up with Diddy’s baby. I do believe that these two have knocked boots on more than one occasion but I hope that Aubrey is not Diddy’s fourth baby mama.

The scoop from an insider at Bad Boy says that Aubrey is with child.

“People here are always gossiping, so at first I didn’t listen to them. But I swear … now Aubrey is beginning to show. Everyone knows she had something going on with [Diddy]. It makes a lot of sense that he would be the father. I really hope Diddy didn’t [get her pregnant], because this could turn into a real mess … imagine if she sued for [sexual] harassment.”

Here is the P-Diddy baby count last time I checked.

Kim Porter-3
Misa Hylton-1
Sarah Chapman-1
Aubrey O’Day- ???

Aubrey has gained a bit of weight lately. Dude, she really looks like a tranny.

If you don’t believe me here is the link to the WireImage pics...this photo is from a Christina Aguilera party at Marquee in NYC.

More pics of Diddy and Aubrey.


When Stalking Isn’t Worth It


Here’s some news. I love this AP article so I’m going to quote and rip as I see fit (just so we’re all on the same page here).

SHEBOYGAN, Wis. (AP) — A Maryland man accused of stalking Michelle Branch was arrested at her concert in Sheboygan this week after she spotted him in the crowd.

Sheboygan is where some shit goes DOWN man! Did you know the Johnsonville World Bratwurst Eating Championship is held there? It’s true, you can look it up. So don’t just stroll into Sheboygan and think you won’t get stalked Michelle. Think again sister.

“Michelle Branch said, ‘Wait a second. There’s a guy in the audience — striped shirt and glasses — can somebody check him out?’” said Cali Haas, 20, of Sheboygan, who was in the crowd. “It left everyone just so confused, like, ‘Is this a joke, part of the show?’”

Cali Haas knows how Michelle Branch shows go. Some wacky and wild things transpire. When Michelle says “Hey, is that my stalker?” sometimes it’s just an intro to that one song she sings called “I would walk a 1000 miles (way more than the 500 that other band would walk).” Sometimes jokes happen too (at a Michie Branch concerto). Like one time Michelle feigned a heart attack. That CRACKED up the audience. That reminds me, I need to go to ticketmaster and see if all of her shows have sold the full allotment of 700 tickets yet.

“He’s been to her last several shows, but it caught her completely off-guard that he was in Sheboygan,” said Lt. Jeff Johnston of the Sheboygan Police.

It caught me off-guard too. Really I would be stunned anyone went to Sheboygan for anything at all (besides bratwurst). This whole thing is kind of sad. Sad that a guy stalks at all, sad that he heads Wisconsin to do it.

Hey fella, just let Michelle play her county fairs in peace.

PS – I actually really like Branch. She plays the piano which is good. She’s cute too. I’m just a hateful person who occasionally lashes out at people I like. Watch out drug dealers!