Today's Evil Beet Gossip

JENNA FISCHER IS SINGLE!!!

Jenna Fischer Getting a Divorce From Husband The start of this week looked like it was all good news for the women: both Heath Ledger and Shaquille O'Neal announced their upcoming divorces. I mean, I guess it's good news for the men if you want to have sex with Michelle Williams, but, really, who wants to have sex with Michelle Williams? She looks like a 12-year-old boy these days. But Jenna Fischer? She looks like the 12-year-old girl next door. And she's getting a divorce! From her husband! Some screenwriter you've never heard o...

Michael and Lindsay Lohan: Together at Last

lindsay_foreigner.jpg And it seems like, now that Michael Lohan actually got to see the daughter he's been fighting to see for so long, he might actually shut up for a little while. It was a sad day for the manufacturers of Grey Goose, as the alcoholic father-daughter combo had an emotional reunion in the parking lot of Lindsay's rehab. "The moment Lindsay saw Michael, she started running and jumped into her father's arms," says an eyewitness. "Her father hugged her and swung her around. Lindsay was so happy. It...

Picking Up the Pieces

Lots and lots and lots and lots of recent pictures of Jessica Simpson. [Celebslam]

Rachel Ray has some gigantic fucking nipples. [Drunken Stepfather]

Brad Pitt likes to pretend he and Jennifer Aniston are still friends. Jennifer Aniston likes to pretend Brad Pitt got his penis eaten by a shark. [Yeeeah!]

People are saying Michael Jackson has a new single. Right. The new single is 8 years old and likes ice cream with sprinkles on top. [Celebrity Smack]

Britney is for sure for sure for sure opening the VMAs. Unless, you know, she totally flakes. [popbytes]

/>Lots and lots and lots and lots of recent pictures of Jessica Simpson. [Celebslam] Rachel Ray has some gigantic fucking nipples. [Drunken Stepfather] Brad Pitt likes to pretend he and Jennifer Aniston are still friends. Jennifer Aniston likes to pretend Brad Pitt got his penis eaten by a shark. [Yeeeah!] People are saying Michael Jackson has a new single. Right. The new single is 8 years old and likes ice cream with sprinkles on top. [Celebrity Smack] Britney is for sure for sure for s...

Looks Like Sherri Shephard’s Joining The View

Who's Sherri Shephard? I have no fucking clue. Honestly. No idea. The most recent photo of her on WireImage is from 2004, which is way older than my subscription allows for, and I'm too damn lazy to try to find her on Google or IMDB because you know what? It's been a shitty fucking day. She's black and she smiles real big, and that's all I can tell you with the little tiny thumbnails I'm allowed to see. So whatever. She's the fifth host. Babs will announce it formally on Monday. />Who's Sherri Shephard? I have no fucking clue. Honestly. No idea. The most recent photo of her on WireImage is from 2004, which is way older than my subscription allows for, and I'm too damn lazy to try to find her on Google or IMDB because you know what? It's been a shitty fucking day. She's black and she smiles real big, and that's all I can tell you with the little tiny thumbnails I'm allowed to see. So whatever. She's the fifth host. Babs will announce it formally on Monday. ...

High School Musical Just Got Interesting

Vanessa Hudgens from High School Musical Naked, Nude, Pussy, Tits, Vagina, EVERYTHING! And it's about fucking time! Those movies are about the most saccharine, insipid, retarded things to hit television in recent years, and I have tried to care, I really have. I even watched the first half of the second one, just so I'd have some idea who the fuck these people are that everyone's talking about. But it was so, so, so hard to care. NOT ANYMORE!!! Vanessa Hudgens, who plays Zac Efron's love interest in the film, IS NAKED ON THE INTERNET. Yay!!!!! Apparently, these days...