Today's Evil Beet Gossip

We’re Turning on Mama Jolie!

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It’s official. The Mama Jolie roller coast has reached its pinnacle and now it must swoop down into darkness. Why says so? Why US Weekly does! Page Six (ty nine) says:

Sources say Us Weekly, Star and other celebrity weeklies are so fed up with getting scooped by People, they’ve turned on Jolie and Brad Pitt with a vengeance.

I agree. Fuck People Mag right in their ear. If I ever see one of those bastards on the street I will be on them like a hurricane of nails and teeth. And elbows. Anywhoo, all of this comes on the fall-out from the notion that Jolie might adopt another kid, this time from Chad. Here’s why:

Jolie herself recently said, “Should you balance the races, so there’s another African person in the house for Zahara, after another Asian person in the house for Mad? We think so.”

Umm… what? No seriously, what does that even mean? Are all African people like each other, and thus relate better to other people who look like them? To me this flies in the face of everything Jolie was trying to do, if Asians now need be purchased in pairs it sort of defeats this whole “one world” theme she’s jockeying for.

I rarely go after Jolie, but that’s a dumb quote. I hope someone made that up.

Late-Night Links/Hallelujah!!

I finally have Internet in my new apartment! Hooray!!! On a related note: FUCK TIME WARNER. Okay? FUCK YOU, TIME WARNER. It feels good to get that out. So things should be settling down to something approximating normal around here. As normal as we get, I suppose. Late-night links are back in late night. Enjoy.

Lindsay and Hilary bond over their shared hatred of Paris Hilton. [A Socialite's Life]

Are the American Idol producers actually hoping Sanjaya will stick around? [popbytes]

A Christmas Story director Bob Clark and his son were killed by a drunk driver on PCH. [fishbowlLA]

Why diet when you’re rich enough for liposuction? [CityRag]

Keith Richards manager says the rocker didn’t really snort his father’s ashes. [The Blemish]

Last week’s Project Runway auditions were short on auditioners. [Celebrity Smack]

Uma Thurman’s rack isn’t looking so hot. [POTP]

Haley’s Military Fans

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Haley Scarnato’s fiancé Bobby Krudwig got his brother and his fellow servicemen to give her a shout out from Iraq. Krudwig’s brother, Army Capt. Keith Krudwig, 34 (far left, wearing sunglasses in the photo) is in his second tour in Iraq and since he couldn’t be there to support Hayley in person, he had his mom hold up a sign that was panned to before she was annouced Tuesday.

I’m kind of a Haley fan. I have no idea why. She seems so sweet. Can’t wait for her naked pics to hit the internet.

Tanya from the Real World…in Soft Core Porn?

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Tanya Cooley from the “Real World”/every stupid other mutation of that mess has ventured into the world of soft core porn. Wow Tanya, that is classy. Her movie is called “The Erotic Traveler 02: Lost in Ecstasy.” You can get it on Cinimax OnDemand. According to the folks over at Reality Blurred, who watched the porn, it isn’t very exicted and followed the normal soft core format. It general consists of,

“A series of imagined flashbacks about the man and woman in the photo lead, of course, to various sexual encounters. Tonya’s characters (she appears to play more than one, but really, no one spent a lot of time on the script) are involved in multiple sex scenes, probably simulated and not at all hard-core. Still, she appears fully nude as she walks on a beach topless, gives and receives oral sex, is penetrated from behind, and has other forms of sex.”

Click here for some NSFW pics. I bet there will be some more former reality stars hitting the soft core porn world.

Sanjaya Isn’t Going Anywhere…And That’s Not Such a Bad Thing

20070328-sanjaya.jpgKen Warwick, executive producer of “American Idol” says that he understands the Sanjaya obsession and doesn’t think it is harming the show. He knows that this kid makes good TV and I love that the judges have just given up saying anything negative about him. Warwick realizes there may be some people that turn into Idol just to see how bad Sanjaya really is.

“Well, the fact of the matter is that someone on the show getting attention doesn’t really bother me, obviously, He’s still there [on the show], and one of the key things is to keep people interested and he’s certainly doing that. It’s all about communication with the public you know. There’s something in human nature that makes people gravitate to someone who’s good-looking — it’s nature, for goodness sake.”

Ken knows that the Fanjayas are keeping him in the competition and not to worry about Simon leaving the show if Sanjaya wins.

“America normally gets it right in the end. I don’t think — I’m pretty positive that Sanjaya will not be the “American Idol” this year. Simon’s not going anywhere, don’t worry. There is very little hype anybody can do with the vast number of votes that we get. I think that if every single person that listens to Howard Stern voted, it would still … you know, the gap above and below Sanjaya is so big, that it wouldn’t affect the outcome at all.”

Even though a lot of people think that “Vote for the Worst” and Howard Stern are keeping Sanjaya in the compeition Ken realizes that when you have that many people voting really it depends on who America is choosing. I’m not sure I believe all that after the various voting scandals that have gone on. Sanjaya makes good TV also I know a lot of boys that hope that his hot sister jumps up and down a few more times after he sings. I really hope he takes advantage of that free “KFC Bowls” for life thing. Those things are good

Lauren & Heidi Are Totally Just Fine

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After the season finale of The Hills, the ever-diligent folks over at Radar Online took it upon themselves to call up Heidi Montag’s mother in BFE, Colorado, and get her take on Heidi’s current situation. She swears that Heidi and Lauren are still the best of friends, Spencer is really a very good guy and Heidi is a very smart and responsible young woman who will soon release an album — to which she has written all the lyrics. OMG I can’t wait. If this album ever sees the light of day, I will honestly be the first in line. It will be hilarious.

And, look, I can tell you from experience that if anyone has a strong grasp on the life of a 21-year-old girl living in L.A., it’s her mother living in another state. Lord knows I told mine everything, with total candor. Except for anything that might upset her, worry her, interest her, or in any way motivate her to stop sending me money, or, God forbid, come out to visit. You can read the entire interview here, but I’ve picked out some highlights.

On Spencer: Heidi and Spencer are all about the show. Spencer has given quite a lot of himself to MTV, and they aren’t afraid to put themselves out there. But he’s not a bad guy at all—that’s all in the magic of editing. In fact, he adores Heidi and waits on her hand and foot, and she’d be with nothing less. Of course now it looks like, ew, why would you pick a slime bag over [Conrad], America’s sweetheart? But it’s not the reality. If things were the way they looked on TV, I would come to L.A. and take Spencer out myself.

On Heidi’s fame: No one is surprised. Even as a little girl in a small town she had this energy that has followed her. She took acting classes—not that The Hills is acting!—and would always want to be more grown up. We would let her carry glasses of wine around the house, but they would always be on her nightstand untouched the next day. She just liked the feeling of being older.

On Heidi’s future: As you know, she is recording an album and writing her own lyrics. And she has such a pretty little voice, I think it will be good. The third season is going to revolve more around that, I think. Spencer is helping with the record because he has connections, but if they broke up tomorrow, she would still be able to go on with the connections she has made out in L.A. Really, if you dropped Heidi off in the middle of nowhere she would still be happy.