Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Sex and the City Movie: It’s On!!!

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Hooray!!! It only took like a billion years, but apparently the cast of Sex & the City — including Kim Cattrall — have all signed on to do the Sex & the City film. All the deals were inked this week. Let’s hope they don’t screw this up …

What do you guys hope to see discussed/resolved in the film?

American Idol Romance?

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Evidently Chris Richardson (Justin Timblerlake) and Alaina Alexander (the hot one that got booted right away) have been having a little “American Idol” relationship. Sources have spotted Chris and Alaina hanging out in LA and she has sat with his family during some of his Idol performances.

Alaina Alexander who has some sexy photos of her own on the internet and Chris I think make an adorable couple. Anyone in LA if you see them together please send us pics!

Fashion Victim of the Week

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Today we have a few young ladies as our victims. They all have the same issue and it is called “clothes that make you look fat.” I understand that the drapey look is in now but really it makes these tiny little actresses look almost zaftig. If I ate salads and ran on treadmills all day long to keep myself under 100 pounds I’d be a little pissed if my stylist made me look like this. I hope that soon fashion will embrace the waist, I’m over the pregnancy look.
I’m in no way calling these girls fat…actually these are three very little girls but taking that into consideration Kristen Bell looks big, Marley Shelton looks like she actually has hips, and Lindsay Sloane could be six months pregnant.

Whatever Jerks. I Didn’t Want to Play Anyway.

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As it turns out Chris Sligh from SanjayaIdol didn’t want you to vote for him anyway. He’s happy you didn’t vote for him. And he completed all his goals without your stupid votes. So there.

GREENVILLE, South Carolina (AP) — Chris Sligh, the curly-headed contestant from South Carolina who was voted off “American Idol” this week, said he considered quitting the show two weeks before viewers sent him packing.

Yes, quitting. As if Idol would have let him. Actually, on second thought, it would be a huge story and they’re attention whores so I guess, yeah, they would have. But thankfully, instead of quitting, Sligh just murdered a song. Good choice!

“I never came into this wanting to win it,” Sligh told The Greenville News on Thursday. “I made the Top Ten. That was my goal.” Sligh said he decided not to quit because the top 10 contestants participate in an “American Idol” summer tour that comes with a nice paycheck.

Dude, when you first try out they say “Do you think you can be the next American Idol?” You HAVE to say yes. Or they cattle prod you until you do. But it’s good to know you’re already working for a paycheck about four months into your career. That bodes well for your future. You’re passionate about… paychecks.

“I wanted to make the tour,” he said. “I wanted to be able to make music for my living, so I don’t have to work at the marketing company that I was working at.”

Totally. That marketing company was run by a bunch of fuck-ups. Screw those guys. That paycheck wasn’t good enough.

Next up, Chris attended ultra right-wing crazy college Bob Jones University. He was kicked out. Here ya go:

Leaving Bob Jones “was actually good, because I had been trying to figure out how to leave,” he said. Sligh is scheduled to appear on the show’s May 24 finale.

To recap. 1. He wanted to quit Idol. 2. He wanted to quit his marketing job. 3. He was going to quit Bobby Jones but they booted him first (probably for not praying hard enough for George Bush).

We wish you the best of luck in all your future endeavors Chris! You don’t sound high maintenance at all!

Our Readers Rock

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I maintain this website for a variety of reasons, but one of them is that, no matter how bummed out I am at any point in time, something related to this site always manages to cheer me up. I was sitting around at home tonight stressing about my impending apartment move, when I got an email from a reader that absolutely made my night. Beet reader Kerri invented this fabulous story about how the little kitten I posted earlier ended up curled against a breast. It made me laugh out loud, and I wanted to share it with all of you:

OK. So a Hooter girl with a pure heart is working one rainy evening. And as she take some food scraps out to the homeless beggars in the alley, she spies a little drenched orange kitten. She secrets him back into the restaurant, and between the other good hearted Hooter girls (who aren’t so bright) and the busboys, they fix him up a little kitten box, feed him warm milk, and keep him secret from the evil night manager Sleazy Steve.

When her shift ends, she counts her tips, collects her stuff, (takes off her Hooter shirt, but has a tank top on underneath, and she puts on proper lower extremity garments, maybe a sensible pair of Chinos) and is leaving the restaurant, when Sleazy Stevy calls out to her.

She doesn’t want him to see the kitten, so she sticks him under her raincoat. As he approaches, he is uttering such threats as “Hey, I gave you the best tables tonight, come over to my pad and show your thanks!” and “If you don’t I will ruin your name and you will never waitress again!” The sound of the menacing in his voice scared the poor kitten, and he scrambled to a safer, warmer hiding place, and fell asleep.

Hooter girl, with audio taped evidence she will give to her lawyer boyfriend that night to begin a class action lawsuit, sees where the kitten ended up, and lets him sleep, because only mean, cruel people wake up sleeping kittens.

I think we have a screenplay on our hands, kids! For a great porn, at least. :) Thanks for reading, Kerri, and thanks for sending this!

Late-Night Links

Tom Cruise is keeping a close eye on his bride. [Cele|bitchy]

Everyone hates Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt. Meanwhile, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt are just happy you know their names. [popbytes]

That chick is still starving herself until Sanjaya is voted off American Idol. I’m done hating Sanjaya. I’ve embraced the insanity. [POTP]

Hillary Duff and Joel Madden cross paths for the first time since their split. [The Bosh]

The editor-in-chief of Jane claims she’s had lesbian sex with Drew Barrymore. [Ninja Dude]

Wentworth Miller is adorable. [TBYLTH]

Let’s take a moment to pretend like we care about what Kimberly Stewart wore to the gym. [Celebrity Puke]