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24Wait! There Are Consequences for Appearing on Trashy Reality TV?

Bethenny Frankel, Pictures, Photos

I never watched Real Housewives of Orange County. Actually, I should amend that statement: I once watched about 10 minutes of Real Housewives of Orange County, and then made it a point to never watch it again, in much the same way one makes it a point to never mix bleach and ammonia in a closed room.

But I guess one of the show’s “stars,” Bethenny Frankel, is dating some dude named Jason Colodne, and his hoity-toity New York-based private equity firm, Patriarch Partners, is firing his ass, allegedly for appearing on the show. Jason’s suing them to the tune of $55M for firing him without cause.

Says a lawyer for the company: “I’m suggesting that one of the reasons for his absences in the office was because he was filming a tawdry show. They found out he was on the show when promos ran. He’s on a show and never mentioned it. Any other company would have fired him on the spot. He also was not performing or bringing in new deal flow.”

But an inside source says that “he cannot be on television because the firm is very private.”

I’ve included here a photo of Bethenny, because I couldn’t find any of Jason. Bethenny reminds me of this girl I once knew who did a lot of meth, and used to slash tires in parking lots just because. That girl scared me, and so does Bethenny. Anyone who looks at this woman and thinks “Yes, this is what I want to wake up to in the morning” is actually probably perfectly suited to work in private equity.

April 5, 2008 at 2:42 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized

14I Can’t Believe the Scarlett Johansson Album Still Isn’t a Joke

Scarlett Johansson Anywhere I Lay My Head Tom Waits Album Cover Art, Pictures, Photos

I keep waiting for her to go on The Today Show or something and be all like, “Ha, fooled ya! You didn’t actually think I was releasing an entire fucking album of Tom Waits covers, did you? Ahhh ha ha ha ha ha! You people will fall for anything these days.”

Instead of doing that, though, she’s releasing the album’s cover art.

The album, Anywhere I Lay My Head, is scheduled for a May 20 release. This cover photo was taken in Louisiana, where the album was recorded.

This is so, so weird. It’s as if I were like, “Hey, guys, I’m going to write a book. What I’m going to do is take all of Walt Whitman’s poems and rewrite them in my voice. I’m calling it Leaves of Ass. It’s gonna be awesome.”

Like, why you gotta be so weird, Scarlett?

April 5, 2008 at 2:22 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Scarlett Johansson

6Still in the Clubs

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Leggings Lohan hit up Dominics on Friday night, and left in a car driven by Samantha Ronson.

Lindsay and SamRo have been hanging out a lot lately, but Lindsay is always very careful not to be photographed with her. They leave separately, and then, when Samantha pulls the car around, Lindsay covers her face until they drive away. Smart girl. And smart of her not to drive herself. Dumb of her to be drinking, though.

Check out her nails. Craziness. And what the hell is in her hand? Looks like a plastic baggie of some sort. Hm.

Lindsay Lohan Crazy Nails and Baggie, Pictures, Photos

April 5, 2008 at 2:09 am by Evil Beet

16A Done Deal

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Congratulations to Beyonce and Jay-Z, who tied the knot on Friday night at a loft in TriBeCa.

It’s about time! I hope you crazy kids can make it last.

Does this mean a Beyonce baby is soon to come?

April 5, 2008 at 2:02 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Beyonce Knowles, Jay-Z

14Why I Didn’t Run the “Naughty” Sarah Larson Photos

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Because, as much as I hate the girl, she’s not doing anything wrong in them. She’s not even naked for chrissake. She’s behaving like a run-of-the-mill twenty-something goofing around with her friends. There are 20,000 photos out there of me doing the same shit. In fact, there are plenty of photos of me out there doing worse shit. Just track down my Facebook page. Or MySpace. And it’s not something I’m embarrassed about or I hide because, ya know, I’m not doing anything wrong. I’m behaving like a single, childless twenty-something who hits the clubs or the beach and gets crazy with her girlfriends, because, like, it’s fun and normal and healthy to do that. I dunno, I guess I thought the story was kind of boring. I’m waiting for that little whore to cheat on George with, like, John Mayer. Those are the photos I’m waiting for.

But if you care, the whole set is here.

April 5, 2008 at 1:52 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Sarah Larson

125Work It, Girl!

Chloe Marshall Miss Surrey in Miss England Beauty Pageant, Bikini Pictures, Photos

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Here’s Chloe Marshall, the size 16 Miss England contestant who’s been getting all sorts of attention lately, in the pageant’s bikini photo call.

It’s a cute Cinderella story, that’s for sure, but I’d be lying if I said I looked at this girl and saw physical beauty. Does that mean she is not a kind, intelligent, valuable human being? No, absolutely not. Does she really have a place in the Miss England beauty pageant? I don’t think so. Like, let’s get honest: there are plenty of awards to be won in this world for kindness and intelligence and making other important contributions to society. And then there are beauty pageants. And I don’t think everyone has to be anorexic, but there are very healthy ways, through diet and exercise, to achieve a body in line with our society’s definition of beauty. This girl does not have a proportional body, and has clearly not gone to much of an effort to achieve one, so why does she get to compete in the Miss England pageant? Are we giving a posthumous Nobel Peace Prize to Saddam Hussein, just to prove that there are many different interpretations of “peace”? No, we’re not, because we, as the Western World, have come to a general consensus on what defines “peace,” and Saddam Hussein’s actions don’t fit into that, so we’re not going to award him a peace prize. Similarly, we’ve come to a general consensus on what defines beauty (you think these bikini pictures are going to end up on posters on the walls of teenage boys?), and beauty pageants ought to be judged as such. Just my two cents.

But props to her for having the courage to be there as a role model and take all the press, good and bad, that comes along with it.

April 4, 2008 at 10:04 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized