Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Fashion Victim of the Week

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Penny Marshall what happened to you? There is something about the combo of fake tan, wierd necklaces and big black tablecloth that you are wearing that freaks me out. I know that you are a creative type but when you leave the house just take a second and look in the mirror. Ask yourself, “do I look good? will people laugh behind my back when they see me?” I don’t even want to talk about the glasses.

Jena Malone Has a Rock Band?

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Yes, yes she does. Jena Malone and Her Bloodstains. I’m not making that up. That’s the name of the band. Doesn’t it sound more like the name of a Judy Blume novel? Are You There, God? It’s Me, Jena Malone and Her Bloodstains. Her band played at the Viper Room in Hollywood on Friday night.

Oh, and Cory Kennedy was there. I have an unhealthy obsession with Cory Kennedy. I don’t know why, or perhaps I prefer not to think about it too much.

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There’s a New Cat in Town

Our background image for this weekend is Miss Cocorico, the adorable kitty of Beet reader Anita. Her name, apparently, is the sound a rooster makes in French, which, frankly, makes way more sense than “cock a doodle doo.” I mean, think about it, does a rooster say “doodle”? Ever? Have you ever in your life heard a rooster make anything even approximating the sound sequence in “doodle”? No. We Americans are so weird.

If you’d like to send in an image for use on our background, check out the rules here.

Google’s Buying DoubleClick

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Sigh. Remember when we were just really excited to have such a good search engine? Via the AP:

Seeking to expand its already well-honed ability to sell targeted Internet advertisements, online search leader Google Inc. said it has agreed to pay $3.1 billion in cash to acquire ad-management technology company DoubleClick Inc.

The two companies announced the deal after the markets closed Friday. The boards of both companies have approved the takeover, which is expected to close by the end of the year.

New York-based DoubleClick helps its customers place and track online advertising, including search ads, which Google — more than its nearest search competitors Yahoo Inc. and Microsoft Corp. — has turned into an extremely lucrative business.

Jesus Christ, Britney

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Save these pictures, Britney. Print them out and put them in a shoebox and keep them under your bed. Then when Sean and Jayden are 12 and 14 and come home stoned out of their gourds you can sit them down and be like, “Look, boys. I know drugs and alcohol are tempting. Mommy once used drugs and alcohol. Wanna see what happened to Mommy when she used drugs and alcohol?” And then you can pull out these pictures and show them and save yourself a lot of money on rehab stints for your kids.