Today's Evil Beet Gossip

You Never Really Escape The Lohan

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I thought I had covered the Lohan stories for the day (it was my turn) but fresh off the presses is this:

AP New York – Lindsay Lohan and her mother have been sued by a freelance photographer who claims the “Georgia Rule” actress hit him with a car in the West Village.

Photographer Giovanni Arnold claims he “sustained severe and permanent personal injuries” when he was struck by the BMW on March 13 on Ninth Avenue between 12th and 13th streets.

Nice! Check this out though:

Arnold was in front of the BMW when Lohan put it in reverse and then in drive, throwing him on the hood and then the ground. (Lohan) stopped to check on Arnold before leaving.

What a heartless bitch she is with the checking on him! And I’m sure he was totally not infringing on her driving space because photogs are nothing if not boundary respecting.

I don’t know who to hate here. Lindsay for going out every night of the week and essentially creating herself as a gossip queen? Or horrible guys with cameras that stalk people?

It’s a close call but right now I hate this Arnold guy more. He never made Maxim’s Hot 100.

Plenty O’ Lohan News

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It’s been at least six hours since I’ve reported or thought about Lindsay Lohan so my internal bell is going off like crazy.

Luckily I have not one, but TWO Lohan related stories to impart to you today.

First off, Kelly Clarkson was approached by her record label to cover a Lindsay Lohan song. Now if that’s not a bad sign for your career I don’t know what is. I mean, it’s not like Lohan has set the pop charts on fire has she?

“My label literally sent me a Lindsay Lohan track from her last album and wanted me to record it for my new album,” Clarkson, 25, tells MTV News.

I’m not a Clarkson fan (too much Guarini in me for that) but I can see Kelly’s point here. She’s already really toeing the line as far as street cred goes, I can’t imagine the fun DJs would have had with her covering a LL song. Oh wait, I can imagine. It’s a lot of fun they would have been having. Kelly wisely vetoed the notion.

Next up, Lindsay Lohan has topped Maxim’s Hot 100. This is certainly good news for her career as it again proves just how seriously people take her looks, body, et al. One funny blurb about the list:

Ashley Olsen, half of the mogul acting twins, placed 37th, while sister Mary-Kate didn’t make the cut.

Nice! Mary-Kate, you are well on your way to being that other Hilton sister. Which, all things considered, is not a bad thing at all.

See you in a few hours Lindsay!

Ty Pennington Launches Magazine

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Ty Pennington was in New York Monday night to help launch his new magazine: Ty Pennington Is Gay At Home. Yes, Ty, “at home” is a good place for you these days. A much better place than, say, behind the wheel.

To add to the randomness that is the most recent month of Ty Pennington’s career, the second-most famous person present, after Ty, was Aida Turturro of The Sopranos. Figure that one out, kids.

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Links Links Links

The Governator on Paris’s plea for clemency: “I have many more important things to think about.” [Agent Bedhead]

Gisele Bundchen sends the very pregnant Bridget Moynahan some gifts for the baby — despite the fact that the daddy is Bundchen’s current bf, Tom Brady. So, basically, this bitch gets to steal your man while you’re pregnant and still manage to score some good PR for it. Isn’t life sweet, Bridget? [Celeb Slam]

Britney decides to pull over on the side of the road, get out of the car, and change her son’s diaper. She’s just full of good ideas. [Cele|bitchy]

Evan Rachel Wood’s a screamer, and Marilyn Manson’s got the video to prove it. [Ninja Dude]

Jessica Alba. Wet t-shirt. It’s white. Go. [Derek Hail]

Ben Affleck plays with his little girl. Ben Affleck was way more interesting before he got sober. [A Socialite's Life]

Huh. Turns out Paris Hilton’s a Catholic. I don’t think even she knew that until she was facing jail time. [Warship]

Lindsay Lohan nipple slip. Just in case you somehow didn’t already know what it looked like. [cityrag]

It’s Lily Allen’s turn to have a nervous breakdown, dammit! [The Bosh]

Brittany Murphy is pretty adorable now that she eats and stuff. [The Grumpiest]

Michelle Rodriguez in a bikini. And lest the little bit of extra fat around the stomach dampen your interest, remember, guys, she’s a lesbian. [Drunken Stepfather]

Um, even TV Guide already knows who’s going to win American Idol. [GTS]

4 Out of 5 Doctors Agree: Joe Francis Is an Asshole

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The Smoking Gun got their hands on a letter from a psychologist, hired by Francis’s defense team to meet with Francis and determine his general condition. In general, he’s miserable and he wants to kill himself, and that makes me happy. Also, according to the doctor, he’s a pathological narcissist. AHHHHHHHH ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!

Loves. It.

“Girls Gone Wild” boss Joe Francis has been having such a rough time in a Florida jail that he recently told a psychiatrist that suicide was a possibility if his imprisonment was prolonged. The porn impresario, who this week finishes a 45-day sentence for criminal contempt, also told Dr. Ronald Markman that he was being housed with “all murderers” in his section of the Bay County lockup. “I started freaking out and screaming, I couldn’t breathe,” said Francis. “I don’t think I can handle this on a long-term thing–I’m not a criminal.” Markman, hired by Francis’s defense team, interviewed the 34-year-old late last month and drafted the below report, which was filed Friday in U.S. District Court in Nevada. Markman concluded that while Francis was “clinically stable,” he demonstrated “significant psychiatric issues” for which he has shunned treatment due to embarrassment. During a two-hour interview, the inmate appeared to minimize his drug and alcohol use, Markman concluded. Francis denied using pot, claimed to have tried cocaine only a few times, and said he had one drink per week. He also copped to trying mushrooms.

All three pages of the letter below.

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