Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Judy Greer Is Engaged!

Judy Greer, 01/27/11

Poor 27 Dresses’ Judy Greer! Always a bridesmaid and never a—wait, what? Oh. Scratch that.

The offbeat Judy Greer, forever relegated to playing the quirky “best friend” (13 Going on 30, Love and Other Drugs, The Wedding Planner) and the “sexy weirdo” (Kitty Sanchez in “Arrested Development,” Fern in Jawbreaker), will finally play the lead in her own production! That is to say, she’s newly engaged to her boyfriend of one year, Dean Johnsen.

Well, that’s it, boys: Judy Greer is officially off the market. “SAY GOODBYE TO THESE!”

Morning Wood

photo of bristol palin pictures photos

Bristol Palin accusing Levi Johnston of rape? [The Superficial]

The hottest, most talented multi-racial men on the planet. [Bossip]

Even more photos of what Ryan Dunn was doing in the hours prior to his fatal car wreck. [TMZ]

Does Nick Cannon have a big new job? [Starpulse]

Lady Gaga is as bizarre backstage as she is onstage. [Lainey Gossip]

Bradley Cooper moving in on Zoe Saldana? [Rumor Fix]

Game of Thrones episode 10 quiz. [LA Times]

Cameron Diaz and Justin Timberlake back together? [Socialite Life]

15 great Real Housewives GIFs. [The Frisky]

Heidi Montag works out fourteen hours a day. [Yeeeah]

William Shatner in Star Trek sequel? [Pajiba]

LeAnn Rimes’ vagina tattoo is HAWT. [Amy Grindhouse]

Mariah Carey’s disappointed with the level of fame her kids got her. [Cele|bitchy]

The best sex in the US. [The Frisky]

Caption This: Last Week’s Winner and This Week’s Photo

photo of dane cook pictures photos grey gray hair pics

It’s time for another round of weekly winnings for the Evil Beet Caption This contests! Check it out, and if you’re the winner, I’ll be sending you an email to collect your mailing information in order to send your prize. Sure hope you registered with a valid email address! (Oh, and check your email for your winner’s notice, too, OK?)

We’ll be choosing the winner of the above photo next Tuesday, so tune in to find out who it is!

The winner on last week’s Jason Bateman photo: Beet Czar
“Don’t squeeze my nuts, don’t squeeze my nuts … damn, I squeezed my nuts!”

First runner-up: Jason Lesnick
“Why are these so hard to open, we’re not even on an airplane!!!”

Second runner-up: Paul W.
“Don’t laugh, don’t laugh, don’t laugh. It’s just a fat kid on crutches.”

Congrats to Beet Czar! As for the rest of you, get commenting if you want to win some free crap!