Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Paris Hilton Gets to “Appear” in Court This Morning Via Telephone

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Details are slim, but it sounds like Paris, who was very clearly supposed to appear in court this morning in person, is actually going to be allowed to report via telephone.

The City Attorney, as expected, is pissed.

This Sheriff Lee Baca guy is such a trainwreck. This is the same guy who:

1) Tried to cover up Mel Gibson’s atrocious, anti-Semitic, misogynistic behavior after his arrest last summer.
2) Has gone on the record stating his admiration for Scientology.
3) Set up the “executive reserve” program to allow celebrities and star athletes to become easily deputized, a move that was widely criticized as being a way to cater to celebrity campaign donors and provide a backdoor way to allow the rich and powerful to carry a concealed weapon.

This guy is such a winner. I wonder how much the Hiltons are planning to donate to his next campaign.

[image courtesy David Gilmore at PrettyOnTheOutside]

So You Think You Can Dance: Top 20

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Now comes the interesting part…the Top 20 Dancers. Last night we had the crazy Vegas week of Callbacks. There wasn’t a lot of drama save a lot of contestants getting eliminated. They are staying at Mandalay Bay, which holds a special place in my heart. At least if they don’t make it they can go out and get loaded on the strip.

We finally have the awesome lyrical genius Mia Michaels joining the show. She is badass and when faced with her choreography most of the dancers look like they are going to vomit. Actually I think I have nightmares that I am forced to go to one of her dance calls.

During the elimination there are a few surprises. The girl with one arm doesn’t make it, which is a bit disheartening. There is one poor boy that tries to feign a crush on Kat Deeley even though he is violently gay.

My favorite dancer from last year’s auditions, Hawk didn’t get to compete is season two because of an issue with his work visa. This year they make the poor boy wait until the very end. It gets down to him and Twitch who was another sick break-dancer.

The judges make their final decision and it is…HAWK! Vote for Hawk!!!

The last girl to be chosen was Lacey Schwimmer the sister of Benji Schwimmer. She is also a good little Mormon girl and when they let her know that she is the final girl to get a spot in the Top 20 she says… “Shut the front door!” I love people that were not brough up with profanity the home. My father actually used to swear at home appliances.

I can’t wait for next week when the real fun beings! This should be a great season. I think the dancers this year are even better than Season 2, which was filled with a crazy amount of talent.

Studio 60 Actually Made Me Cry Tonight

Studio 60 Canceled

I’m so pissed that they’re canceling this show. Care to reconsider, NBC?

Look, I love Tina Fey and 30 Rock as much as the next guy; it’s well-written, engaging and funny, just in a different way. As much shit as I give him, I love Aaron Sorkin’s work, both on crack and off; his characters say things that need to be said, and his storytelling and dialogue are almost incomparably brilliant. I suppose with some coaxing I can stomach a world where Paris Hilton can buy her way out of jail, but I don’t know if I can live in a world where a major network can green-light the cougars-vs-kittens Age of Love and this show doesn’t get another season.

Paris Was Planning a Party!

Paris Hilton Planning a Party After Jail

In another big fuck-you to the justice system and to all the people in the world who make a normal income, X17 reports that Paris Hilton was planning a party for Friday night. She’d invited a group of her friends to a “Welcome Back” party at her Hollywood Hills mansion new jail. Seriously, does she want the whole world to hate her? Jesus Christ, Paris. Even if you don’t have to go back to jail (oh please God make her go back to jail), just sit your ass down, shut the fuck up, stay out of the spotlight for 40 days, and pretend like you could give two shits that you drove drunk and then violated probation TWICE.

Ha, maybe the girls at Lynwood will throw the little hooker a welcome back party instead. That would be sweet.

It Don’t Pay to Hate on the Gays: Isaiah Washington Gets the Boot at Grey’s

Isaiah Washington Kicked Off of Grey’s Anatomy

Yup, that’s right. Mr. Isaiah Washington just took a fabulous Prada loafer squarely in the ass.

Even though he denied that he’d be leaving Grey’s Anatomy, multiple sources have been loudly confirming that he was on his way out, and with T.R. Knight’s recent announcement that he’ll be returning to the show, the writing was on the wall in bright Shiseido red.

ABC studios stated on Thursday that Washington’s contract was not renewed for the upcoming season of Grey’s.

Isaiah, ever the beacon of good judgment in this otherwise distressing world, released the following statement, with no further explanation:

“I’m mad as hell and I’m not going to take it anymore.”

That Isaiah, he’s all class.

So if you’re wondering what all that ruckus is in WeHo tonight, it’s fair to assume that T.R. Knight and Kate Heigl are somewhere at its epicenter, appletinis in hand.

Oh, Yes, We Noticed You Checked into Rehab, Richie Sambora

Richie Sambora Checks Into Rehab

Today has been a strange day. Paris Hilton was dismissed from prison and then got a callback, sending me up and down on an emotional roller coaster I can’t even begin to justify. I vacuumed; I think I’m coming down with a fever for the first time in over a year (right before finals week, at that); and I inexplicably find myself listening to Jennifer Love Hewitt’s BareNaked and liking it. And people say bloggers are losers …

But nothing — nothing – is going to distract me to the point that I would miss out on publicizing the fact that Richie Sambora slipped quietly into rehab on Wednesday. Sambora, who recently split from Denise Richards after acquiring her in the very most slimeball of manners, was fucking wasted at his MTV Unplugged taping on Tuesday, to the point that they actually had to turn off his mic and re-record the songs without him. I guess that was the wake-up call he needed, so he checked into an undisclosed LA treatment facility yesterday. And by now, we all know full well that means he’s at Promises. Who else is rooting for a Lohan-Sambora hook-up??

Also, just to clarify, it turns out I only like the first two songs on BareNaked.

Can We Just Talk About How Much Bullshit It Is That Jaslene Has to Share Her Seventeen Cover with Jessica Alba?

Jaslene Gonzalez Has to Share Seventeen Cover with Jessica Alba

Yes, I think we can.

Because it is bullshit, people.

Listen up, Seventeen, I don’t know who’s heading up your Atoosa-less ship these days, but if you’re gonna get all that publicity off of ANTM, you sure as hell better be ready to step up and give its winner her own cover. Especially when it’s my beloved Jaslene Gonzalez.

Seventeen did two covers for their July issue — a “bonus,” as they claim — but the one they’re promoting is the one with Jessica Alba on it. Don’t get me wrong, I like Jessica Alba just fine, but I think that if Jaslene was promised the cover of Seventeen magazine, she should get that cover, and not one-half of it (and one-tenth the promotion) just because someone at Hearst is taking heat for newsstand numbers.

Anyway, Jessica Alba’s been traipsing around NYC promoting her new Fantastic Four film and her cover, so where are the pics of my Jaslene??? You can check out some of the shots from her Seventeen cover shoot here.

Jessica Alba Signs Seventeen Magazine Cover Jessica Alba Signs Seventeen Magazine Cover in New York