Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Sarah Silverman Will Try to Help Heal

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Just some news for ya, Sarah Silverman will be hosting the MTV Movie Awards this year.

No one watches these anymore, because they aren’t live and the winners are announced in advanced. But perhaps this year I will tune in to one of the 42 repeats that will happen on that weekend.

Even better news, this article says these puppies are LIVE!

Silverman + Live = relevant.

It’s almost like MTV isn’t run by a soulless bunch of pansie suits anymore. Welcome back to the land of the living MTV, we’ve missed you this past decade.

Late-Night Links

Alyson Hannigan rocks the bikini. [Drunken Stepfather]

Check out video clips from Gwen Stefani performing in LA. [popbytes]

Tracey Morgan has to wear an alcohol-detecting ankle bracelet for 90 days as a result of his DUI. Now that’s outrageous and egregious! [Celebrity Smack]

Conan O’Brien cops a feel on Tyra Banks. [Ninja Dude]

Hooray hooray!!! Studio 60 is coming back!!! WATCH IT, MOTHERF***ERS. That was a close call. [SOW]

The best part of this is the knowledge that someone somewhere is getting his rocks off to these images of Paris Hilton’s corpse. [Allie Is Wired]

Why stop with the tits? Heidi Montag got a new nose, too. Next up will have to be a new back to carry your celebrity, Heidi, because Lauren Conrad’s is done with you. [IBBB]

Look, I want Britney Spears to get sober and sort her life out and regain some measure of sanity. But please, God, can it wait until she writes this tell-all? [The Blemish]

Is Angelina Jolie anorexic? [Cele|bitchy]

If so, she might want to take some tips from Kate Bosworth, who seems to be at a semi-healthy weight again. At least I can’t count her rib bones in this bikini. [Warship]

Awww … celebs as babies! [Celebslam]

Jonathan Lipnicki, in stark contrast with his career, has matured. [Agent Bedhead]

A review of Fantasia in The Color Purple. [DListed]

Mischa’s Keds are at the Cleaners

I know we’ve been following the “Mischa Barton + Keds = True Love” story pretty hard so here’s the latest breaking news.

In this picture I believe she is wearing normal (acceptable) footwear. I could be off the mark here, as I don’t really know the whole Keds line. If I’m wrong I’ll take a comment ding. But if I’m right I want it known that I nailed her first.

Put your Keds back on! And eat something.

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Next up, Adam Brody, Elisha Cuthbert, and Amber Tamblyn. These guys all look hot in their own little way, no? Brody is rocking a full fledged adult male thing and somehow the slightly stoned vibe makes Elisha work for me. Plus I’m a sucker for redheads (Amber Tamblyn).

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It should be noted that all these, again, are from the Coachella event. The fact checker (whom I’m on the phone with now) tells me that this event is in Indio, California and features music acts. There seems to be a charity angle as well. So all you guys near Indio (home of the Indio High Rajahs) hustle on down to see both music and Scarlett’s cow legs.

Are They Really Going to Send Prince Harry to Iraq?

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It looks like they might. His regiment is due to begin a six-month tour of duty in Iraq within weeks. If deployed, Harry would be the first royal to serve in a war zone since his uncle, Prince Andrew, flew as a helicopter pilot in the Falklands conflict with Argentina in 1982 (remember that?). Although the final decision about what exactly Harry will be doing won’t be made for a few days, the prince had a huge farewell party in London on Friday night, and gave a moving speech:

I’m prepared to do anything they throw at me … Whether I serve on the front line or carry out a desk job in Basra I just want to get out to Iraq and serve my country. I’ll be honoured to serve as best I can — whatever I do. I have to listen to the orders of my commanding officers. Sadly, it’s out of my hands. I’m proud of the men I’ve trained with over the last few months but I have to respect that they need to be safe as well. It’s a great, great feeling to go to Iraq. I don’t know what to expect. I’m nervous, excited and apprehensive …and I’m really looking forward to it. I just want to get out there and do it.

It is wonderful that he wants to serve his country, but, as Harry himself alludes to in his speech, his presence endangers the other troops. According the News of the World:

Terror leader Abu Mujtaba, commander of a 50-strong unit of Iraqi insurgents, has chillingly piled on the pressure. He said: “One of our aims is to capture Harry. We have people inside the British bases to inform us on when he will arrive.

“We have a special unit that would work to track him down. Not only us, but every person who hates the British and the Americans will try to get him — all the mujahideens, al-Qaeda and the Iranians will try.

“For me he is just a British soldier and he should be killed if he comes to Iraq. But let’s be realistic, we can kill hundreds of British soldiers before forcing them to withdraw — but Harry is a bigger catch and we will force the British to come on their knees and talk to us.”

Now, seriously, who is this terrorist leader giving quotes to News of the World? I’m not saying the terrorists aren’t thinking this, but I just can’t believe there’s a terrorist sitting in an office building somewhere with a secretary like, “Um, Mr. Mujtaba, News of the World is on line two. They’re looking for a pull quote on this Prince Harry thing. Shall I put them through once you’re done with Osama?”

The newly single Wills showed up at the party and, while Harry and girlfriend Chelsy Davy left around 1 a.m., Wills closed the place down, apparently being quite the ladies man.

Both the royal family and the U.K. are concerned for Harry’s safety in Iraq. Sigh. This is just like when they drafted Conrad Birdie.