7Rap Beef That Wasn’t Real Squashed!

Diddy and Snoop have launched a tour but that’s not where this story gets fun.

Here is where it gets fun:

HELSINKI, Finland (Reuters) — U.S. rap stars Sean “Diddy” Combs and Snoop Dogg, who were bitter rivals in a notorious feud between East and West Coast hip-hop in the 1990s, said on Friday they had buried the hatchet once and for all.

No one was ever afraid of Diddy. Ever. Even the guy who is suing him probably feels like Diddy is cute. Also, the true battle was between Notorious B.I.G and Tupac, you can tell because they are both now dead.

They said they had “moved on” from the days when members of the two music scenes clashed rather than collaborated. “That was a time in history,” Combs told reporters ahead of the tour’s opening concert.

That WAS a time in history. Just like every other moment that has ever occurred. Including this one. And this one. They are all now moments in history. Idiot.

“We want to entertain, we want to make music, we want to make people feel good,” said Combs, 37.

Translation: We’d like some money please.

Snoop: “That is all that matters, that the spirit of hip-hop lives on. Everything that was not right, we are getting right.”

PS- Nas’ new album is called “Hip Hop is Dead.” Guess who is right?

March 11, 2007 at 11:56 am by Spiteful Lars

1Daylight Savings Dumbass

I’ve passed three people today that were having nervous breakdowns because they were late for morning appointments. They forgot that today was “Spring Forward Day!”

So if you just got up…and are slightly confused that your favorite TV show isn’t on it is an hour later. We are now in Spring time unless you live in Arizona…they don’t believe in Daylight Savings…cause they are cool like that.

March 11, 2007 at 7:09 am by EvilT

3DOGGIES!!!

So my darling friends from NYC are staying with me in LA this weekend, and we are having quite the party out here. For instance, this evening we watched a movie and are in the process of baking a cake (during this process we realized that I own neither a spatula nor a wooden spoon, and that I don’t understand what to do with the rest of the stick of butter after you’ve used a small portion of it to grease a pan, all of which may or may not be related to the fact that I don’t have a boyfriend). Additionally, we looked at YouTube clips involving dogs.

These are must-sees. The first is of a two-legged dog who walks upright like a human. I know it is supposed to be touching, but it’s laugh-out-loud funny. Remember in The Arrival when it turns out that Kiki is an alien? And we know because his knees start to kind of invert when he walks? That’s what this dog looks like when he walks. Like Kiki as an alien. The second is of a pug who says “I love you.” Both clips are — perhaps not surprisingly — courtesy of the Montel Williams show.

March 9, 2007 at 11:11 pm by Evil Beet

11Which Springfield Will Get the Simpsons Movie Premiere?

Is everyone else super-psyched for the new Simpsons movie? It doesn’t come out until July, but I have high hopes for it. I’ve been watching The Simpsons for as long as I can remember — I had a “Don’t Have a Cow, Dude” t-shirt when I was like 8 years old that I thought was just the coolest thing on the planet, and a “Cowabunga” beach towel to go along with it. For comparison purposes, I also had like six slap bracelets and my other favorite shirt featured a pony with a bow in her hair, but still.

The television show is set in the mythical Springfield — a very common name for cities in the U.S. — and the writers never let on as to the state in which the Simpson family lives. They want to premiere the film in Springfield — so the question is, which one?

20th Century Fox has invited 16 of the Springfields nationwide to compete for the honor of hosting the premiere. Fox will pick the winner based on short film entries showcasing the community’s positive aspects and links to the Simpsons. (Links to the Simpsons? Like what? “As luck would have it, guys, we have an incompetent police force, a grossly mismanaged nuclear facility and an inadequate public school system! Look no further!”)

“There’s plenty of serious issues to talk about, but this is something that we might as well try to have a little fun with,” said Springfield (which one?) Mayor Sid Leiken.

This is a fun publicity stunt. I sure hope someone puts those short film entries on YouTube (hint, hint, Fox!!!)

March 9, 2007 at 10:29 pm by Evil Beet

12Jessica Biel and Ryan Reynolds?

Jessica Biel sure is a slut pretty. She’s just everyone’s favorite rebound girl. After breaking up with Derek Jeter earlier this year, Jessica promptly jumped into bed with Justin Timberlake, who had split from Cameron Diaz mere weeks before. Her latest target is hottie Ryan Reynolds, who ended his on-again-off-again engagement to Alanis Morissette (who?) in early February.

The two hard-bodies were spotted at a dinner date at Santa Monica’s Balabu this week. They would certainly have very hot babies, but, honestly, can’t Jessica give her fellow actresses a tiny bit of breathing room before hopping on their men?

March 9, 2007 at 9:32 pm by Evil Beet

13Fashion Vicitm of the Week

Brooke Hogan you make this too easy. First, you forgot your pants. Second, you aren’t supposed to spray tan twice an a 24-hour period for a reason. Third, those long fake nails are awful. You look like you are dressed up for Halloween. I think I might know why your pop career hasn’t really taken off. I really think she should go into wrestling like her dad. Just a thought Brooke.

March 9, 2007 at 9:12 pm by EvilT