Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Paris Gets Out of Jail Tomorrow

Paris Hilton Out of Jail on Tuesday Will Do Interview with Larry King on CNN

The countdown’s on! While I was certainly among the ranks of those folks rooting for Paris to do some hard time, I have to admit that it’s been boring as hell in the gossip world since she’s been locked up. I mean, it hasn’t helped that Lindsay’s been in rehab at the same time, but, still, I’m kind of looking forward to a free Paris. Miss Hilton is scheduled to rejoin society sometime after midnight tonight, and she claims she’s a changed woman.

In a recent telephone interview with Ryan Seacrest, Paris announced that she plans to build a “transitional home” for women who don’t have a four-bedroom Hollywood Hills pad to return to after their jail stay. “These women just keep coming back because they have no place to go,” she said. Paris hopes the home will be “a place to get food and clothes on their backs,” and notes that this is “a really bad cycle and if we stop it now, we can make our community a better place.”

Paris continues to say that her “gratitude has gone up so much and I just realize that the media used me to make fun of and be mean about it.” Really, Paris? It took a jail stay for you to put that jigsaw together? Because there were a couple of clues before all this. I mean, we weren’t running photos of your vagina because we felt you were a likely Presidential candidate.

Paris’s first post-jail interview will be with Larry King on CNN (and the actual interview will be unpaid, although it’s likely CNN will pay licensing fees for the use of Hilton’s private photos and videos), after it seems ABC, NBC and CBS got frustrated when the behind-the-scenes negotiations were made public. For her part, Barbara Walters at ABC said she chose not to do the interview because she felt it was “tawdry. The whole thing somehow was beneath me. Besides, it was a no-win. If I did a tough piece and her tears started to flow, it would be, ‘Oh, there’s Barbara Walters making people cry again.’ Too soft, and I’d be criticized.”

Either way, folks, life gets interesting again tomorrow.

Who Didn’t Miss K-Fed?

K-Fed Rules

Everyone did. It’s impossible not to. Like your kid brother who wants to be an astronaut you’ve just got to smile and muss his hair up a bit every time you see him.

This is him at an after dinner party held by someone named Michele Merkin. Evidently she’s been the host of a show called Celebrity Drive-By which I’ve never heard of. Regardless she does have excellent hands with which to play the piano and I hope she’s taken advantage of that.

George Clooney’s Overall Hotness May Destroy Italy

George Clooney is Hot

I knew it would come to this at some point. When someone is so sexy that they make the human torch look like a wet blanket people are bound to get hurt. And since George lives in Italy those people are Italians.:

ROME (AP) — George Clooney has joined a protest to stop construction of parking lots and a promenade in the northern Italian lakeside town where he owns a villa because he fears his presence is turning the quiet town into a tourist attraction.

You see, the town of Laglio has become besieged by people just hoping to get a little taste of the two time “Sexiest Man Alive.”

The article points out that Clooney recently signed a petition to derail a construction project that would have hurt the locals’ fishing boat harbor.

“My concern is that this village that has stood for hundreds of years would be destroyed simply because I happened to have lived there for the last six years. I told my neighbors that I would do what they wanted. And it seemed that they didn’t want to demolish the harbor where all the local fishermen keep their boats,” Clooney said.

I definitely commend Clooney for taking action, but I wonder exactly how long he can be contained. The hotness seekers will come for him, and it will take more than a petition to keep them off. Heck, it could take a full brigade of the Italian army.

Kate & Wills: Back On!!!

Prince William Kate Middleton Back Together News of the World

At least that’s what News of the World is reporting.

The two were reportedly sucking face on the dance floor at a June 7 party for William and other troop leaders.

The Moulin Rouge-themed bash was titled Freakin’ Naughty and featured blow-up dolls and guests dressed as saucy nuns, doctors and nurses, some in sexy Ann Summers lingerie.

Kate was dressed more modestly, but looked gorgeous and Wills could not take his eyes off her, according to guests.

They chatted all night but she kept breaking off to mingle with his Army pals. One guest said Wills followed Kate around looking like a lost puppy and finally dragged her onto the dancefloor at midnight.

After an intimate dance the couple kissed passionately.

When friends joked that they should get a room, Wills did just that, leading Kate back to his private quarters where they spent several hours.

I don’t quite understand at what point in time I started caring about the British Royal family, but I’m really rooting for these two. I was genuinely happy when I saw this, which is strange, because normally when two people split up and then have a romantic reunion I’m just plain bitter. But I adore Wills, and Kate seems like a solid girl who has her head screwed on right (although with arguable taste in head-wear), and Wills seems to be genuinely in love with her. Plus she’s a commoner, making this a true fairy princess tale. Apparently Kate’s still not sure if she wants to get back into a full-fledged relationship with Wills, but they’re going to see each other twice in the next month at formal affairs, and hopefully Kate will realize how much she loves him and how cute she’d be as the Queen of England and then they’ll get married and it will be sooooo adorable!!

Cameron Diaz is Way Sorry About Inadvertantly Supporting Communist China

Cameron Diaz Apologizes for Maoist Communist Bag in Machu Picchu Peru

After toting a bag sporting Maoist slogans through Machu Picchu, Cameron Diaz decided not to pull a Simon Stiles (I’m sorry, I haven’t given up on Studio 60 yet) and issued a formal apology.

“I sincerely apologize to anyone I may have inadvertently offended. The bag was a purchase I made as a tourist in China and I did not realize the potentially hurtful nature of the slogan printed on it.”

So that’s that. Case closed. Cameron Diaz neither speaks Chinese nor supports Maoist philosophy. I will be so glad when Paris Hilton’s out of jail and this shit isn’t news anymore.