3This Gal is Not Ugly at All

We reported back at the end of January that Leo was fair game but I’m sad to report that seems not the be the case. He’s back with the girl who we thought had dumped him.

Jerusalem AP took a quick time-out from being bombed to report:

Leonardo DiCaprio arrived in Israel with supermodel Bar Refaeli this weekend, creating a paparazzi storm… They apparently hoped to slip into the country unnoticed on a night flight from Frankfurt, Germany, on Sunday, but the plane was also carrying a group of Israeli entertainment reporters on their way back from a press junket in Ireland.

Well that’s just bad luck. And it would be hard to hide the fact you were Leo DiCaprio and you happened to be chillin’ with a 21 year-old supermodel. Even with a ballcap on.

March 12, 2007 at 12:07 pm by Spiteful Lars

32Jennifer Hudson Gets Free Burger King FOR LIFE!!!

I am so jealous. Burger King has just given Oscar winner Jennifer Hudson free Burger King for the rest of her life! I truly believe I could live on BK’s chicken sandwiches alone. I think it has all the food groups, right? And it’s yummy. I need to win an Oscar.

You see, when Jennifer responded to Simon Cowell’s complaints that she didn’t thank American Idol in her Oscar acceptance speech, Hudson responded by saying: “If I’d been any better at my job when I was at Burger King in my middle teens, I wouldn’t be here either, so should I thank them, too?”

Burger King responded with the following statement:

“…In response to Jennifer’s recent comments in which she asked if she should be thanking Burger King, we say thanks, but no thanks are necessary. Burger King Corporation is proud of Jennifer’s success and while we never like to lose employees, in this case, our loss is the entertainment industry’s gain … To further show our support for Jennifer, and make sure she never has to sing for her supper again, Burger King Corporation is giving her a pre-paid BK Crown Card that will be automatically reloaded for life.”

Burger King is only the latest fast food chain to grab free publicity from a celeb’s controversy. In late January, when Kevin Federline took heat from the fast food industry for a Super Bowl commercial, Taco Bell responded by offering K-Fed a one-hour shift, complete with free food for the patrons during that hour.

March 12, 2007 at 11:46 am by Evil Beet

0I Need Cleansing Too

We don’t delve into politics very often around here and when we do I like to think we delve with an open mind. This is a great story no matter what though:

Mayans to ‘cleanse’ Bush site.

For our foreign readers you should know we’ve got this guy over here named Prez. Bush. He is visiting Guatemala (which means “bad female Guat”) this week and evidently the Mayans aren’t too thrilled. He’s visiting Iximche which of course was the main city of the Kaqchikel Maya people. If you didn’t know that already I can’t help you. C’mon man, read a book. Anyhow:

Mayan priests say they will purify the sacred archaeological site to rid it of any “bad spirits” after Bush is there.

Nice! When our Prez visited Columbia:

About 300 to 350 demonstrators threw rocks and charged a line of about 200 police clad in riot gear. The demonstrators ripped up metal barricades, smashed concrete barriers and used the resulting fragments as projectiles.

Well that’s just innovative. I’m not even mad, I’m impressed.

The protesters smashed the windows of financial institutions as they retreated.

Screw high interest rates! The Prez. Central/South American Tour: It’s Faaaaantastic!

March 12, 2007 at 10:38 am by Spiteful Lars

0For the Last Time: No One is Taking Britney’s Kids Away from Her Because She Makes out with Chicks

Or because she flashes her cooter or dresses in skimpy clothes or goes to nightclubs. I’m sorry, America, but that’s just not how it works. The kids are fed, they are warm, they have clothes, they have adult supervision, and no one is beating them up, and I assure you that Los Angeles Children and Family Services are going to deal with all the families who don’t meet one or more of those criteria before they show up to take Britney’s kids away, and that’s gonna take them at least the next year or twenty.

I guess there are new nudy pics of Britney from that night she was traipsing around some NYC nightclub, bonding with the go-go dancers. Everyone’s bidding on them right now (bidding’s at around $150K). But there’s also a tape, caught by security cameras, of Brit-Brit and some of those dancers engaging in a little more hard-core partying (it’s not clear from the article whether we’re talking drugs or sex or both). “If that thing goes on the Internet, there’s going to be big trouble. It might be what they need to take [Spears'] kids away from her,” says a source. Ugh. Once again: might Kevin win at least partial custody of the kids in a custody battle because he’s their father and he can take care of them? Yeah, maybe. But no one is going to come a-knockin’ on Britney’s door like, “Hey, remember how you ate out that go-go dancer in New York a few months back? It’s on tape. Yeah, we can’t have you doing that and raising kids at the same time. Mm-kay?” Not gonna happen, people.

March 12, 2007 at 9:00 am by Evil Beet

3Snoop Dogg LOVES Drugs

I reported yesterday that I thought both he and Diddy were punk-asses so I’m sure someone is going to give me flack because he was arrested today in Sweden for suspected narcotics use. Honestly, I wonder if they even had to search him. I would think his passport would say something like “Hey, this guy is on drugs.” I bet they have a special stamp for that.

Oh, in reading the article I’m sort of right! Check this out:

“You can see that a person indicates that he has used narcotics in looking at his eyes or his movements. (Police) suspected that he had taken drugs.”

He’s Snoop Dogg. Are you guys serious with this? Here is the best part, guess what those maniac Swedes are going to do with him?

Results are due in two to three weeks and the rapper could face a fine if the tests confirm drug use. “if he earns a lot, it can be a couple of thousand (Swedish crowns) ($280)”

Now that, my friends, is hilarious. If $280 was the fine in America you’d see people lighting up on the street and carrying a checkbook with them. Snoop has got to be like “Hey cousin, I’m Snoop, I’m on drugs, here is your money. Now bring me that bikini team should they still exist.”

The lesson here: Go Swedish drug laws and play on Snoopy. You’re still not gangsta though.

March 12, 2007 at 8:09 am by Spiteful Lars

1Kristin Cavallari: What a Bright Girl

I make no secret of my adoration for Laguna Beach‘s Kristin Cavallari. I think she’s just the coolest, prettiest, bestest girl around, and I sincerely hope one day to be just like her. (Hey, have you noticed that by now almost everyone else from that cast has moved past the Laguna Beach‘s epithet? Even Jason Wahler is now, like, “Jason Wahler, from The Hills and jail,” but Kristin’s done nothing of value since. Bongo ads, maybe?)

Any-hoo, Kristin, age, what, 17?, has found a surefire way to make a relationship last: she got the initials of her boyfriend, Nick Zano, tattooed on her wrist. “He wants the other guys who flirt with Kristin to know she’s all his,” said a source who’s seen the tat. When Kristin was asked about it, she “got really giggly and started blushing.” Does Kristin do anything else? Kristin Cavallari is like a Furbie: she does giggly, she does angry, and she does sad, but there’s none of that subtle area in between. And once she’s up and talking, she does not stop.

I look forward to seeing what happens to that tattoo when Nick dumps Kristin for Nicole Richie.

March 12, 2007 at 8:08 am by Evil Beet