Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Uh-Oh, Britney’s Being Investigated for Child Abuse

Britney Spears Being Investigated for Child Abuse

I don’t know how she could abuse those children.

She’s never with them! When would she find the time???

Via TMZ:

An unscheduled hearing was held today at L.A. County Superior Court. Present — Britney’s lawyer, Dennis Wasser, K-Fed’s attorney, Mark Vincent Kaplan and a lawyer from the Los Angeles County Counsel who is assigned to the dependency court.

We do not know the specifics of the allegations but we’re told the L.A. County Department of Children and Family Services is conducting an active investigation.

A hearing in the custody case has been scheduled for September 4, which will be a follow up to today’s appearance.

The most recent pic we have of Britney is above, leaving a Beverly Hills tanning salon Sunday night. No kids around to abuse!

Photo credit: Buzz Foto

Hulk Hogan’s Son Nearly Killed in Drag-racing Accident

Nick Hogan, Hulk Hogan’s Son, in Serious Drag Racing Car Accident

Just when you thought no one in the Hogan family could make a dumber decision than Brooke Hogan’s ass-pants, her brother Nick is there to prove us wrong.

Hulk Hogan’s son, Nick, who you might recognize from Hogan Knows Best, was nearly killed in a car accident on Sunday night in Clearwater, Florida. While no official statement has been made, many are assuming that the 17-year-old was drag-racing. He crashed his Toyota Supra around 7:30 pm, after losing control of the vehicle, hitting a raised median, and crashing into a palm tree.

Stupid, stupid, stupid.

You can check out video of concerned Papa Hogan on the crash scene here.

His mother released the following statement:

“My son Nick and a friend were involved in a car accident last night. Nick suffered minor injuries and has been treated and released from the hospital. At this time, his friend, John Graziano remains hospitalized. Nick is currently at the hospital with John and his family. His sole concern is for the well being of his friend. On behalf of my family, we ask that your thoughts and prayers be with John and his loved ones.”

Nick is going to be in a LOT of trouble for this — he was recently cited in Florida for going nearly twice the speed limit, in a construction zone!

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Owen Wilson’s Suicide Attempt!

The star of the upcoming The Darjeeling Limited, and recent ex-boyfriend of Kate Hudson, was rushed the the hospital on Sunday night after a family member found him near death in his Los Angeles home.

Initial reports suggested that it was an accidental drug overdose, but now The National Enquirer is reporting the hospitalization was the result of a suicide attempt, claiming Wilson cut both his wrists and took a large number of pills.

He was brought to St. John’s hospital and later transferred to Cedars-Sinai. His brothers, Luke and Andrew, were spotted at the hospital with him, along with his parents.

On Monday, Wilson released the following statement:

“I respectfully ask that the media allow me to receive care and heal in private during this difficult time.”

Owen was suspiciously absent for the press conference for The Darjeeling Limited a couple weeks ago. In fact, we haven’t seen much of him at all lately.

Get better, Owen!!! We’re rooting for you!

A New Miss Teen USA!

Miss Teen USA, Hilary Carol Cruz

On Friday night, Hilary Carol Cruz, Miss Teen Colorado USA, was crowned the new Miss Teen USA in Pasadena, CA.

Cruz is 18 years old, and says that in five years she hopes to have earned a Bachelor of Arts degree in journalism and get into entertainment journalism. Look out, Ryan Seacrest!

The pageant was hosted by slimeball Mario Lopez, and judges included Melissa Joan Hart and Joey Lawrence. Because if anyone knows what it takes to find success in the entertainment world, it’s Joey “Dancing with the Stars” Lawrence.

Hopefully she can follow in the footsteps of former Miss Teen USAs, who include Vanessa Minnillo (who seems to have plenty of knives but not enough time to trim the bush), and Katie Blair, whose alcoholic escapades meant she barely escaped last year with her crown intact.

Better luck to you, Hilary!