13Fashion Vicitm of the Week

Brooke Hogan you make this too easy. First, you forgot your pants. Second, you aren’t supposed to spray tan twice an a 24-hour period for a reason. Third, those long fake nails are awful. You look like you are dressed up for Halloween. I think I might know why your pop career hasn’t really taken off. I really think she should go into wrestling like her dad. Just a thought Brooke.

March 9, 2007 at 9:12 pm by EvilT

7Jess Goes to The Dark Side

Jessica Simpson and John Mayer are totally a couple now and they are starting to look eerily similar. Jess’s hair keeps getting darker and she is sporting a rocker chick look, which is quite a departure for her. This black on black suiting ensemble is not really working for me.

Remember when Jess was a sun-kissed California goddess? I loved that Jess. She was dumb and tan and it worked for me. This dark brooding Jess isn’t really my cup of tea. They both look like they need to lie in the sun and get some serious highlights.

Has John Mayer ever watched her movies or listen to her music? Maybe those famous boobs just got him hooked, or maybe Papa Joe is throwing him some extra cash to make Jess look a little less desperate for a man.

Here are some pics of Jess as she once was.

March 9, 2007 at 9:02 pm by EvilT

9Amy Winehouse Needs to Go to Rehab

In her hit single “Rehab,” British songstress Amy Winehouse sings that “they tried to make me go to rehab, I said no, no, no.” Perhaps she ought to reconsider. Winehouse canceled two U.K. concerts in a row after going on an alcoholic binge following her break-up with her boyfriend. After her second cancellation, her management issued this statement:

“Following last night’s postponement, and once again owing to unforeseen circumstances, tonight’s show at Shepherds Bush Empire has been postponed. Last night’s show has been re-scheduled for May 28th and tonight’s show has been rescheduled for May 29th. March 8th tickets will be valid for the May 28th show and March 9th tickets will be valid for the May 29th date. Amy would like to apologise to her fans. She hasn’t taken these decisions lightly and hopes that her fans will understand.”

However, spies around London tell a very different story — one of Winehouse bar-hopping all day and night, eventually becoming so drunk she was unable to walk. She had to be dragged out of the bar by a cab driver, says a witness. The troubled singer has a long history of being drunk on stage and in interviews — and was caught with cocaine up her nose by British photogs earlier this year — but this is a new low for her.

The binge was triggered by a break-up with her boyfriend Alex, a London chef. “Amy is gutted,” says a source, which I think is British for “heartbroken.” Hey, Amy, if you’re going to cancel two concerts to get drunk, you may as well cancel a month of concerts and check yourself into rehab, yes, yes, yes.

March 9, 2007 at 8:29 pm by Evil Beet

17Justin Timberlake: Getting You All Wet

Outtakes from his Rolling Stone photo shoot. I’m not always on Team Timberlake, but there is something about a man in a wet white t-shirt that does it for me.

March 9, 2007 at 6:43 pm by Evil Beet

3Salma Hayek is Preggers

Salma Hayek, age 40, is both pregnant and engaged. Her fiancee is Francois-Henri Pinault, a ridiculously rich and powerful man (technically, according to TMZ, “the chairman of French luxury goods empire PPR SA, which owns high-end fashion houses like Gucci, Yves Saint Laurent, Balenciaga and Stella McCartney”) who has, as of yet, failed to put any of that money or power to good use on the appearance of his face. But that didn’t seem to bother Salma! My guess is his money and his power were instead focused on some sort of in-vitro procedure, because she’s a little old to be getting knocked up just because the rubber broke. Congratulations to Salma!

March 9, 2007 at 6:11 pm by Evil Beet

0Friday Music

This video is not impressive, mostly because I think the band itself is very broke, but the song is VERY tasty.

So maybe just launch the song and then go back to your spreadsheet or something. Then find more music by the band and buy it so one day they can hire Dave Lachapelle to film them in something high concept.

The band is Mates of State and the song is called “All Day.” Enjoy!

March 9, 2007 at 4:34 pm by Spiteful Lars