Today's Evil Beet Gossip

CATHOUSE IS BACK!!!!

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OMG you guys I am sooooo excited. I was talking to my boss last night, and somehow the topic of Cathouse came up (no, I have no idea how that happened. I’m still trying to figure it out). Anyway, he was like, “You know, a new season’s starting soon,” and I was like “Do not fuck with me about Cathouse,” and he was like, “No, I’m not kidding, it starts again on Saturday.” So I just now crossed my fingers, said a little prayer, and went to the website. And, sure enough, new episodes start on May 12!!

AIRFORCE AMY!

SUNSET THOMAS!

ISABELLA SOPRANO!

WELCOME BACK INTO MY LIFE!!! I was so sad without you guys.

The episodes will air monthly, and there’s only six of them, but just in case you don’t have HBO, guess who’ll be recapping them? Yes, that’s right. What? You thought I’d pass up the opportunity to recap porn? Fuck no.

Bring it.

AmIdol Recap: Top 4

Jesus, how many more of these are left? Three hours sleep last night — the insomnia is back — but I’m feeling pretty good and rearin’ to go.

Ryan starts out by saying that there are “three girls, and only one guy.” The camera pans across their faces — Jordin grins, Melinda fake-grins, LaKisha fake-grins, and Blake looks like you just told him you’d actually love it if he’d put it in your ass, and please don’t use a condom, because it won’t feel as good and it’s not like you can get pregnant that way.

This is American Idol!

Oh man. Everyone’s singing twice tonight. All the music comes from Barry Gibb, who I guess started as a member of the BeeGees, which makes sense because his initials are B.G. Huh. I feel like I learned something today. So basically, kids, prepare yourself for an evening of the songs your parents listen to. Or, for some of you, your grandparents, because your parents are, like, my age. Because I’m old. But let’s not dwell on that.

Ryan’s all like, “We are so going to run over time tonight. And that’s awesome because it’s my responsibility to keep us running on time, and I’m the one who takes shit in notes because Randy has to name-drop and Paula has to slur and then Simon has to berate everybody and every week, somehow, this is my fault. And yet, strangely, I still don’t have a producer credit on this show. Can someone explain that? Seriously. Jesus.”

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Links Links Links

Brittany Murphy and Neve Campbell both tied the knot this weekend. No, not to each other, although that would be way hot. [Gabby Babble]

Tom Sizemore hits up the meth again. [Warship]

The Lindsay Lohan side boob. [Derek Hail]

Angelina’s discovering that Brad may be more devoted to his smoking habit than he is to their family. [Cele|bitchy]

Victoria Beckham begins walking the long road back to recovery from her eating disorder, and the British tabs are there to make a headline out of every single pound gained. Awesome. [popbytes]

There’s a little bit of sibling rivalry between Ashlee and Jessica Simpson. Ooh, I hope they have a MySpace battle! [A Socialite's Life]

TrentWatch continues over on The Gilded Moose. [TGM]

We forget that Sinead O’Connor was the original Britney. [IBBB]

Star Jones gives a lap dance to hubby Al Reynolds in public. [Yeeeah!]

Is Phil Stacey Going to Iraq?

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Phil Stacey might be missing the Top 10 Idols Tour to go to Iraq. The 29 year-old new father said that he does have a commitment to the military and even though they have been flexible with his Idol schedule he always could be called up to duty according to his AOL TV Tattler exit interview.

My primary responsibility is to the United States Navy. The possibility exists that they’ll need me for a mission, and if that’s the case, I’m committed to following it through. So far, they’ve been 100 percent flexible and a huge support base for me.

Phil obviously would be quite disappointed, as would his Idol fans that kept him in this long if he got called up.

The last that I spoke to my commanding officer, things looked very promising that I’d be able to go on the tour. I’m not really worried about it at this point. But it would break my heart to not be able to go. But I’ve got a duty and what’s important is that I fulfill my responsibility to the Navy.

I do hope he gets to do the tour. It would be a bit of a buzz-kill if you had to go from being a huge star to a war zone. He also just had a little baby and it would be sad if he couldn’t just enjoy his brief shot at fame with his family.

They Should Really Just Have AA Meetings in the Elementary Schools

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Just give the kids an early start. Then again, if all alcoholics were sober members of AA, there wouldn’t really be much of a gossip industry. HBO head Chris Albrecht, who was arrested in Vegas after the Mayweather/de la Hoya fight for trying out some of their moves on his girlfriend, is being all like, “Oh, woops, I’m an alcoholic” about it. Albrecht has decided to take a leave of absence from HBO, stating:

This weekend was a wake-up call to me of a weakness I thought I had overcome long ago. I had been a sober member of Alcoholics Anonymous for thirteen years. Two years ago, I decided that I could handle drinking again. Clearly, I was wrong. Given that truth, I have committed myself to sobriety. I intend to take a temporary leave of absence from HBO effective today, in order to go back to working with AA.

Full email reprinted after the jump.

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Is Chris Richardson a Cheater?

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Lord knows plenty of girls across America wanted a shot at Chris Richardson, but it’s possible he’s not exactly the best boyfriend in the world. Star Magazine reports that the recently ousted Idol may be cheating on his girlfriend back in Virginia with Lauren Conrad, and that he started dating the Virginia girlfriend while she was still married! According to the mag:

Rumor has it that booted AI contestant Chris Richardson may soon be dating The Hills hottie Lauren Conrad behind the back of his hometown girlfriend, Gayle Barnett. And that’s a situation Chris is already used to, says a source- who claims Chris and Gayle began romancing while her then husband was fighting in Iraq! “Gayle was still married when she first met Chris in the early summer of 2003, when he was hired as a fry cook at the Hooters in his hometown of Chesapeake, Va.,” the source tells Star. “They started dating, and they didn’t try to keep it a secret. Gayle was still wearing her wedding ring, and everyone knew she was married, including Chris. Apparently neither of them cared.” Local Virginia newspapers recently featured a number of interviews with Gayle, 26, who is always describes as Chris’s “girlfriend of four years.” But according to Virginia Beach Circuit Court documents, in her June 2005 divorce filing against her husband, she lists their separation date as September 2004- more than a year after the source says she and Chris began dating!

What is it with AmIdol and Hooters? That’s where Sanjaya’s sister worked, too.

Whatever, I’m a Blake girl anyway.

Scrubbing Toilets Was a Sobering Experience for Naomi Campbell

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Is a little toilet-scrubbing really all it took to get Naomi Campbell to give sobriety another shot? In a recent interview with W magazine, Naomi talked about the community service she was forced to do after being charged with felony assault for throwing her cell phone at her maid. She shared the diaries she’d written during that period.

“I find solace in sweeping,” wrote the supermodel, who famously left the last day of her community service wearing a stunning silver evening gown. “I have no other responsibility. I have no phone. I have the time to think. Just have, you know, peace. Two of the people in the room have never been on a plane. They ask me what it’s like, and I’m embarrassed to tell them I was on seven planes the week before alone. It’s so interesting to get to know so many different sorts of people … One co-worker tells me how he ended up here, basically because of alcohol. I bond with him, and I tell him I’m in recovery.”

Campbell opened up about her struggles with addiction. “I first sought treatment in 1999 and then went in and out of recovery,” she said. “I’d think I had things under control, but then I would relapse. I never really looked into myself, deep below the surface.”

“What I came to realise is that I had to surrender. I had to let something higher than me be in control of my destiny. You have to let yourself become vulnerable again … Some people can handle a drink or a line of cocaine, but I’ve finally come to realise that, for me, it’s all or nothing — and it has to be nothing. And my life has changed since.”