Oh Vanity Fair. Something about this is just wrong, and I can’t quite put my finger on WHAT. Seeing Gwyneth Paltrow like this is similar to seeing your sort-of-hot but really really god-awful boss naked. You derive no pleasure from it other than the grim satisfaction of knowing that she’s got actual skin instead of scales and horns, know what I mean, jellybean?
We haven’t really heard from Tara Reid since May, when she partied a tooth out and started looking like a crazy ol’ cokehead, but it’ll be July tomorrow, everyone, so obviously it’s time to check in on this girl. What could she possibly be doing these days, you might ask. Oh, just attempting to steal shopping carts from the Walgreens, same old, same old:
Kooky Tara Reid has a bizarre way of making new friends in Atlanta while shooting the latest “American Pie” movie. The disheveled-looking actress stopped two strangers in a Walgreens parking lot over the weekend, a source said, to ask where the “nearest Mexican restaurant was. She was wearing torn jeans and a pink hoodie, despite the 90-degree heat. She was pushing a shopping cart with her dog in it.” While Reid’s parking-lot pals gave her directions, a Walgreens manager emerged and ordered Reid to return her cart. “She whined, ‘I’m just borrowing it,’ ” our amused spy said. But Atlanta, it seems, isn’t Hollywood. “Ma’am, please, we don’t have that many,” said the clerk, whom Reid argued with before ditching the cart, grabbing the dog, and storming off.
I’m not going to touch the fact that they’re shooting yet another American Pie, that’s just too much cinematic tragedy, but stealing shopping carts, really? That’s classic Tara. It’s also classic Crazy Homeless Lady, but I think it might work just a little better for Tara. After all, she can do anything she dreams of, if she only dreams hard enough.
Real quick before we get started: how shady does Aaron Carter look nowadays? So shady, right? Right.
Anyway, Aaron did an interview with OK! Magazine, and he talked about his friendship with Michael Jackson. It’s a little too creepy for me to paraphrase, so just check out Aaron’s quote:
“I never talked about it… This is the first time. I do… I miss Michael… I have spent such incredible times with him. I did things with him that nobody else did… But I was also troubled about what he did to me. Yes, he gave me wine. I mean, I could have refused, but I was 15. He gave me cocaine. I felt weird about that and other stuff… We spoke afterwards, hours and hours, on the phone. I admired Michael, but his behaviour bothered me a lot. Then my mother called the police…”
Obviously, these could be total lies, but I’m inclined to believe Aaron here. It’s clear that he’s had some substance abuse issues for a good long while now, and he just went to rehab in January, so he might just be getting things off his chest. Or he might be getting ready to drop a new album so he needs some publicity. Or perhaps he’s back on meth and is just making up stories for funzies. I don’t know, all I do know is that anything is possible when it comes to the wacky world of the Jackson family.