Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Foreshadowing

Okay, so I got really bored on my drive home from my crazy San Diego weekend, and I decided to put on Britney Spears’ In the Zone, for old time’s sake.

I came across this track, Early Mornin’, which I realize now basically foreshadows what was going to come in the following years.

Here’s the opening line:

“Alright, I was a little late last night. Got a little messy. Can’t be like that anymore …”

And by the end she’s like “Call all your boys, call all your girls, call all your friends. Let’s do it again!”

Oh, Britney. You warned us! I’m sorry we didn’t heed your cry for help. Then again, this was the same album on which you dedicated an entire song to masturbation, so it’s possible we all just got distracted.

(And, yes, I know this isn’t the actual music video for the song. She didn’t do a video for this one, so this was the best compilation I could find on YouTube.)

How Many Machine Guns Does One Person Actually Need?

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Mazel tov to T.I., who won two BET awards mere hours after being arrested for paying his bodyguard to purchase multiple machine guns for him, without registering them. T.I. cannot legally purchase the guns because he is a convicted felon. And no one in this country can legally purchase a gun without registering it.

T.I. was taken into custody in a shopping center parking lot where federal officials said he planned to pick up machine guns and silencers he had his bodyguard buy for him.

The arrest Saturday resulted from an investigation that began this month when a federal firearms licensee contacted the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, Firearms and Explosives about a man inquiring about buying a machine gun without registering the weapon as required by law, according to a criminal complaint filed Saturday in U.S. District Court in Atlanta.

After trying to buy several machine guns from an undercover ATF agent, the unnamed person began cooperating with the government and said he was buying the machine guns and silencers for Clifford Harris, T.I.’s given name, the complaint said. According to the bodyguard, he had bought about nine firearms for T.I., and the rapper had given him cash to buy guns four different times, it said.

Harris brokered the deals through the bodyguard because he is a convicted felon, the complaint alleged. It is against federal law for a convicted felon to have another person get firearms on their behalf.

Okay, seriously, in my sheltered little LA Beach Cities life, I can’t imagine ever having a use for even a single machine gun. I guess I can understand how someone from a very different background — whose best friend was killed in a shoot-out last year — might want to have a single machine gun. But multiple machine guns? What on earth is one person going to do with multiple machine guns? I mean, could you really even fire them both at the same time? I know it happens in the movies, but in reality, wouldn’t the force of it push a grown man to the ground? And how could you ever use more than two? Are you going to fire one with your toes? Hold it between your thighs and hope your penis can reach? And who are you shooting at that you need, like, four machine guns? The entire cast of Tekken? I don’t get it, kids. I just don’t get it.

Is Lindsay Lohan Broke?

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I seriously doubt it, but News of the World says she is:

In recent months the wayward actress has squandered a staggering SEVEN MILLION DOLLARS on her wild partying.

And now the 21-year-old is so skint she can’t afford her own place—and has become a lodger at a rich pal’s mansion.

Her extravagant spending spree includes:
- A MILLION dollars on just one hotel bill
- $137,000 in rehab costs as she battles her hopeless addiction to drink and drugs
- THOUSANDS more in legal fees after multiple drink driving convictions.

We can reveal that after jetting back to Los Angeles this week following her two-month stay at the Utah’s Cirque Lodge rehab clinic, Lohan is staying in the guest house of billionaire Tom Gores, executive producer on her recent film I Know Who Killed Me.

A source close to the star revealed: “Lindsay doesn’t have much choice as she is totally broke. The only reason she’s coming back to LA, is to earn some money fast.

“She still thinks nothing of blowing thousands of dollars on a single night of partying. And the amount she has wasted putting cocaine up her nose is disgusting. Even she has lost count.”

She lived for most of last year in Hollywood’s opulent Chateau Marmont hotel, spending $450,000 on her $1,200-a-night suite, as well as another £500,000 having chauffeurs on 24-hour standby.

Added to that were endless bottles of Cristal champagne at $550 a pop—until the unpaid bills got too much and she was evicted.

Hard-up Lindsay has had to sell both her plush properties—a $2.85MILLION apartment in LA, plus her $1MILLION New York flat—because she could not manage to keep up with the huge mortgage payments.

Another $350,000 has gone on luxury Mercedes and BMWs, followed by huge bills for expensive lawyers to defend her on drink-driving and drugs charges.

She spent $1MILLION on clothes, $70,000 on tanning and hair-styling and well over $500,000 on partying.

Um, has anyone considered that perhaps she’s staying at the producer’s house because she’s trying not to go back to her old haunts … the apartments and neighborhoods that remind her of her partying days? Maybe she actually wants some adult supervision.

I don’t think she’s broke, but it’s probably my responsibility to pass along this story.

Nicky Hilton Still Doing the Fashion Thing

Nicky Hilton Chick Show at Los Angeles Fashion Week

WireImage caught some shots of Nicky backstage before the Chick show at LA Fashion Week on Sunday.

Once again, Mommy Hilton and Daddy Hilton were there, but Paris was a no-show. She’ll probably take shit for it again, but I actually think Paris is avoiding Nicky’s shows in order to let the shows be about Nicky.

It looks like a really cute line, to be honest. Girly, flirty, cutesy. I dig it.

Also: has anyone else noticed that Nicky’s lost a ton of weight lately? Her legs are little sticks now.

Nicky Hilton Backstage at Chick Show at Los Angeles Fashion Week Kathy, Rick and Nicky Hilton Chick Show at Los Angeles Fashion Week Nicky Hilton Chick Show at Los Angeles Fashion Week

Quotables

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“In the beginning, part of wanting to be a director was just a natural extension of acting. But now this feels like what I am, or what I want to be. It’s so satisfying and exhilarating. In fact, the central preoccupation of my life right now is trying to find another movie to direct.”

Ben Affleck, whose directorial debut, Gone Baby Gone, opens on Friday.

Caridee English is Way Hotter Than Her Boyfriend

Caridee English and Her Boyfriend Nick, Hosting at SET in Miami

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What a weekend!

Saturday morning, the ever-fabulous MK from popbytes organized another one of his killer blogger brunches at Kate Mantilini (aka Kate Mantil-yummy!) in Bev Hills. It’s always so much fun to hang out with the rest of the gossip blogger community. If you’re a gossip blogger in the LA area, and you’re not on his invite list, drop me a line and I’ll make sure you’re included next time.

Then it was off to San Diego, to hang out with my little sister (the one who researches phytoplankton at Scripps and wishes I would change my last name so that she didn’t have to be associated with what I do for a living … we are very different people) and my friend Courtney (whose roommates told me they love The Beet, so a shout out to Pam, Livia and Lexie!). We all went out to a club in Pacific Beach with some of Courtney’s friends, and the night was a stunning success, as I ended up making out with a super hot Marine who had a tattoo of “Venni Vitti Vicci” misspelled across his chest. I was like, “Um, is that the correct Latin spelling for that?” and he was like “Yes.” And then his buddies bust up laughing, and they’re like, “No, dude, it’s not. We never had the heart to tell you. But since she brought it up…”

The correct Latin spelling for Julius Caesar’s famous “I came, I saw, I conquered” is “Veni, vidi, vici.” So he was wrong on like 8 different levels. Honestly, people, run this stuff by a professional before you get it tattooed on your body. But whatever. I didn’t exactly need him to translate The Aeneid for me, if you know what I mean. ;)

On Sunday we recovered, then went to dinner with some cousins, and then traffic on the 5 sucked coming north, so I just now got home. So I apologize that posting’s been nonexistent this weekend. I needed a couple days off.

Anyway, here are some pics of ANTM winner Caridee English hosting at SET in Miami on Friday night. She brought along her boyfriend, who is considerably less attractive than she is. But the real question is … which one of them is drunker? It’s anyone’s guess …