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7Yeah, Ashlee Simpson’s Totally Getting Married on Saturday

Sorry posting has been slow today, you guys. Nope, still no boyfriend to distract me from my love affair with blogging; rather, my Internet connection’s on the fritz. Fortunately there’s one nearby I can steal (an Internet connection, not a boyfriend), but it’s pretty crappy, and it takes like 10 tries to do anything right (just like a boyfriend).

Anyway.

Surveillance helicopters have spotted white tents in the back yard of the Simpson household, so it looks like Ashlee is for sure getting married tomorrow. Not that we ever had any doubt.

And it appears that, despite all the break-up rumors, Tony Romo will be there as Jessica’s date. Tony’s in LA, and he was spotted playing nice with Jessica at Katsuya on Friday. Probably because Papa Joe sent some large men to “have a chat” with him, and talk him into “doing the right thing.” Which is, as long as we’re on the topic, probably how Pete Wentz ended up getting engaged to Ashlee in the first place.

May 17, 2008 at 12:17 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized

32Getting Hitched!

Here’s the video of Ellen announcing that she and Portia De Rossi are getting married.

The look on Portia’s face is priceless. She’s so excited!

CUTENESS!

May 16, 2008 at 10:24 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized

28The Golden Oldies

New Kids on the Block performed “Step by Step” and “The Right Stuff” on The Today Show this morning, dance moves and all.

OMG.

Awful, awful, awful.

I’m so embarrassed for them.

May 16, 2008 at 10:20 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized

11The July Vanity Fair Cover …

Will feature a preggers Angelina Jolie!

After the Miley Cyrus fiasco, it looks like they’re going with a tried-and-true, over-18 sex symbol.

Patrick Demarchelier took the photos, and there’s going to be a 12-page spread inside.

I wonder if she’ll show off her naked belly!

May 16, 2008 at 10:11 am by Evil Beet
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25Your Daily Lohan

Here’s LiLo leaving Yves St. Lauren in LA, wearing stupid Robin Hood boots that I hate to admit I kind of like.

I am, however, proud to declare that I hate her purse.

SamRo was nowhere to be found. Lindsay was shopping with a different blond female companion. At first I thought it was Kirsten Dunst, but then it totally wasn’t, so I didn’t include her pic here.

May 16, 2008 at 12:42 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized

39Jesus Lord, What Happened to Nikki Cox’s Lips?

Nikki Cox went to the plastic surgeon and was like, “I’d like Restylane injections,” and the surgeon was like, “Okay, fine. How many vials would you like injected?” And Nikki was like, “Vials? Let’s talk gallons, baby.”

Seriously Nikki Cox’s doctor is borrowing oil barrels from the U.S. government to transport the Restylane for Nikki’s lips. That’s why it’s so damn expensive to fill up your car these days. Blame Nikki Cox.

She and Jay Mohr do look ridiculously happy, which is admittedly pretty awesome, but why would a woman with such a killer body and a beautiful face and an amazing husband feel the need to inject the goddamn Great Lakes into her lips? Look at Jay! The poor little guy can only make out with one of her lips at a time!

May 16, 2008 at 12:34 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Jay Mohr, Nikki Cox