Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Mischa Barton’s Shrooming Lands Her in the Hospital

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Oh, Memorial Day weekend. I have to be honest, kids, I caught about 30 seconds of local news tonight before The Simpsons, and they were interviewing people with family in Iraq at some event in downtown L.A., and I was like, “Oh, shit, that’s right! This is the holiday about war veterans!” I get it confused with Labor Day. (What’s that one about, anyway? Slaves?) And, admit it, for most of you, Memorial Day weekend is not about remembering our soldiers abroad or at home; it’s about getting so incredibly fucked up you can’t remember where you live, let alone the troops.*

Well, Mischa Barton was doing her part to support our shrooms at a house party on Sunday, where she was tripping so hard she thought she was dying. She made such a scene that an ambulance was called, and she was taken out of the party on a stretcher by paramedics. She was hospitalized immediately, and remains in the hospital tonight.

Her reps are trying to spin it like she had a few alcoholic beverages while she was on antibiotics, but seriously? What the fuck were the antibiotics? Shrooms? Because if mixing alcoholic beverages with antibiotics regularly landed people in the hospital, I’d be so fucking dead right now. It’s birth control you’re not supposed to mix with antibiotics, people (and birth control should, for the record, always be in the mix with alcohol, but I digress).

Mischa has a long and illustrious history with drugs, with many a photo of her smoking weed circulating the Internet. Remember this? Or this? Or when her kid sister checked into rehab in February? Yeah.

You know what’s sad? Part of me is feeling like she’s really responsible, since she didn’t drive. Sigh.






*For the record, here at The Evil Beet, we fully support our troops. Our administration is a different story.

I Told You People I Was Going to Run Every Damn Picture of Jaslene Gonzalez, and I Meant It

ANTM’s Jaslene at Indy 500

Remember this? Yeah. I’m gonna do this until you all hate me. Because, to be honest, I kind of have a girl crush on her. So you can fantasize about that or you can just ignore these posts, or you can do both, I suppose, but you sure as hell can’t stop me. Jaslene was at the Indy 500 on Sunday (which was won by Ashley Judd’s hubby). She was joined by Patrick Dempsey and Ian Ziering (who, if we’re being honest, looks good these days). Enjoy!

Jaslene Gonzalez at Indianapolis 500 America’s Next Top Model Jaslene Gonzalez at Indy 500 Patrick Dempsey at Indy 500 Ian Ziering at Indy 500 Ian Ziering at Indianapolis 500

Ashley Judd’s Husband Wins the Indy 500!

Ashley Judd Indianapolis 500

These are seriously some of the cutest pictures I’ve seen come across the wire in a long time. Ashley Judd’s husband, Dario Franchitti, won a rain-soaked Indianapolis 500 on Sunday, and she was there to celebrate with him. She just looks so genuinely ecstatic in every single one of these pictures. I don’t know the first thing about racecars or NASCARs (I assume this is NASCAR, because it’s definitely not horse-racing, right?) and I still don’t know how to drive a stick shift, but HOORAY DARIO FRANCHITTI!!!

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Svedka Vodka Won’t Be Sponsoring Lindsay’s Birthday

Lindsay Lohan DUI

Svedka Vodka, the company which had planned to sponsor Lindsay Lohan’s 21st birthday party, has decided, in the wake of her DUI, that perhaps heralding the legal drinking right of an alcoholic who’s not afraid to get behind the wheel is not the best business decision. Because, you know, sponsoring the 21st birthday of an alcoholic who’d been in rehab but had yet to get a DUI would have been totally responsible. Way to go, Constellation Brands.

Not that it matters anyway. At this rate, Lindsay’s going to be spending her July 2 birthday in rehab.

More Details on the Lindsay Lohan DUI: Lesbian Lovers Spat and COCAINE!!!

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OMG you guys this is SUCH A FABULOUS STORY!!! I’m so sad that so many of you are away for Memorial Day and not GLUED to your computer screen following this story the way I am. Because I’m a loser like that. Whatever. Okay, to the dirt:

So Linds started Friday night at Les Deux. (Well, it was midnight by the time she got there). She left at 2 am, and went to a party at Nick Hawk’s house (the guy that runs Koi). Apparently she got in a fight there with her rumored lesbian lover, DJ Samantha Ronson. In the video, you can actually hear Linds as she leaves the party (at the 2:52 mark on the tape), saying “Fuck that goddamn lesbian girl.”

Then she goes to Skybar at The Mondrian for about 45 minutes before heading back to her condo. I guess Samantha Ronson met her there, because she was spotted leaving Lindsay’s building on foot around 5 am, and Lindsay, with a male friend, followed her in her car. She caught up with Samantha as she was in the median of Sunset Boulevard, and the two were screaming, with Lindsay reportedly saying “You fucking lesbian bitch!” to SamRo. Samantha eventually got into the car, and they headed down Sunset until Lindsay ran into the “curb.” And by “into the curb” they mean “over the curb and into a fence.” Check out the video.

So then Lindsay’s bodyguard shows up, around the same time as the cops (responding to a 911 call), and drives the car back to Lindsay’s condo, where it was later towed and impounded by the police. For whatever reason — because he was drunk, retarded, or just hates Linds — it didn’t occur to him to remove the cocaine from the car. So the officers inspecting the car after it was impounded found the narcotics.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha …

Lindsay’s going back to rehab, unless she’s going to jail.

See how cool drugs are, kids?