2This is Fashion

These are all from Australian Fashion Week, and they are all very good advice for y’all wanting to look good.

If you show up looking like this dates will want to bang. In a big way. Take note.

This first look says “I’ve put on the lotion AND I’ve gotten the hose.”

Next up is “Beautiful is for all the other models!”

“You ordered the village idiot? I’m here!”

“One day my forehead will conquer nations.”

You get the idea. Oh, you crazy Aussies!

May 2, 2007 at 1:57 pm by Spiteful Lars

2Jesus Christ, Spiderman 3 Is Going to Make a Lot of Money

If you’re like me (and I hope, for your sake, you’re not), and your life is basically a whole lot of nothingness puntuated by the regular perusal of what’s new on WireImage, you would be aware that Kirsten Dunst has been a regular Magellan this week, traversing the globe in search of shinier dresses and stronger cocaine, as Spiderman 3 premiered everywhere they can subtitle it. It opened across Asia, Europe and Australia yesterday and today, and preliminary box office reports are staggering. The film broke records in Hong Kong, Thailand, Malaysia, Singapore, the Philippines and Taiwan, and beat out the Spidey 2 openings in Korea and Japan.

Look for it to kick some Aquaman ass here in the U.S. On Friday, it will open domestically in 4,163 theaters, the largest opening in the history of the world, and that’s including Paris Hilton’s vagina.

Get ready for the summer movie season, kids. Disturbia what?

May 2, 2007 at 1:41 pm by Evil Beet

1Jessica Alba is Both Confused and Concerned

At an Australian press event for this summer’s Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer.

May 2, 2007 at 11:49 am by Evil Beet

2Neve Campbell to Wed This Weekend

Neve Campbell, who you’ll remember from when she used to be famous, is reportedly planning marry British actor John Light at a secret Malibu location this weekend. Neve moved to London two years ago, primarily to live with Light, but also because it’s as good a place as any to make your eyes real narrow and furrow your eyebrows and let the slightest trace of a tear build up while your lips part just the tiniest bit and turn down a little around the edges, make small, sad choking noises and hope someone wants to film it.

May 2, 2007 at 11:13 am by Evil Beet

1How To Kick Alec Baldwin While He’s Down and Plug Your New Movie at the Same Time: A Study in Zero-Budget Marketing By David Permut

Via Page Six:

HEARING the enraged voicemail message from Alec Baldwin to his daughter brought a flood of bad memories back to the man who first introduced the “30 Rock” star to Kim Basinger on the set of 1991′s doomed “The Marrying Man.” “It all kind of brings it to the surface again for me personally,” said David Permut, producer of more than 20 movies, whose latest, “Charlie Bartlett” with Robert Downey Jr., just premiered at the Tribeca Film Festival. “If I were homeless on the streets and had a tin cup in my hand and somebody pulled me off the sidewalk and offered me a script to produce with Alec Baldwin committed to starring in it, I’d pass.” While “The Marrying Man” was a flop, it achieved legendary status because of Baldwin’s expensive flare-ups with Disney executives, which included wall-smashing, cellphone-destroying and chair-throwing. Reflecting on the star’s current critical success on NBC, Permut told The Post’s Mandy Stadtmiller, “When he plays a no-good [bleep], he excels. My personal feeling is that when he has to portray anybody with some vulnerability and sensitivity, I don’t think the audience buys it.”

May 2, 2007 at 10:55 am by Evil Beet

0Britney in Bloom

Taken a month ago, apparently, at a friend’s house. Seriously, though, I have seen her vagina. Three times. This is painfully uninteresting.

Update: Sigh. SplashNews continues their fun-sucking tour of sucking the fun out of everything. I love it when they come to visit. Sometimes Chris even comments, and that makes me so happy. He comes to police the site, but he just can’t help getting sucked into all the fun we have around here! Then he comes back later to suck it all away. Pics pulled on request. They’re visible here. Everyone go say hi to our friends at SplashNews!

May 2, 2007 at 10:45 am by Evil Beet