Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Quotables

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“I picked Jordin Sparks at the top 24 as the ‘American Idol’ winner. I was actually going to try to wear a ‘Vote for Jordin Sparks’ T-shirt last night but they wouldn’t let me do it.”

Blake Lewis, after the American Idol finale last night

Britney Spears Hooked Up with Ryan Phillippe!

Ryan Phillippe Hooked Up with Britney Spears

In her ongoing quest to out-Paris Paris Hilton, Britney Spears is reportedly preying on not-quite-divorced-yet men. This time, it’s Ryan Phillippe. According to the National Enquirer, the two of them met up in the bathroom of Les Deux in Hollywood on May 16. Says a source: “Britney was in the club’s lounge when Ryan came over to say hi. Both of them had drinks and it wasn’t long before Britney had her arms around him … They went from saying hello to groping and kissing each other in record time.”

Continues the source: “After several of Ryan’s buddies joined them at Britney’s table, Ryan excused himself and went into the nearby men’s room. On the spur of the moment, Britney followed. Alarmed, Britney’s bodyguards began pounding and screaming on the door. With no response from her, they went ballistic. After calling out to Britney several more times asking if she was OK, they busted in the door and found Britney and Ryan groping and kissing each other.”

Reps for both Spears and Phillippe deny the session, but the Enquirer, per usual, is sticking to its story. Honestly, I’d expect Ryan Phillippe to have slightly higher standards, but I guess after a few shots of tequila even Britney Spears could look good.

Lohan Stripping

Lindsay Lohan Stripping

Some of the stripping footage from Sony’s I Know Who Killed Me movie has been made available. They’re being pretty careful about not showing much, but here are a few of the better shots of Linds and a stripper pole.

So shocking that they would use this as a marketing tool! I’m sure she couldn’t have seen that coming.

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I Still Think Anne Heche is Crazy

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Here’s some fun with other people’s straightforward reporting.

Firing back in her divorce case, Anne Heche asks for full custody of her son and claims her ex-husband, Coley Laffoon, craves porn, poker and money.

My joke palate is salivating right now.

Heche says in court papers that although Laffoon claims to be a stay-at-home dad, he actually leaves their 5-year-old son Homer “with nannies and babysitters while he plays ping-pong, backgammon and poker and views pornography online.

Wait a second, this dude PLAYS ping-pong?? Your honor, I respectfully ask that Mr. Laffoon be committed. And if we find out any foozball is involved I’d recommend shock therapy. Also, how many guys do you think have never “viewed pornography online?” Put your hand up. Now make a fist. There, you’ve got your number.

More after the jump, because I’m feeling windy!

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Jordin Sparks: YOUR American Idol

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Congrats to Jordin Sparks America’s New Idol! It was pretty obvious that she was going to win for the past few weeks. I gotta give her snaps for being the first Idol winner from the great state of Arizona. It was a very long show filled with some pretty awesome performances and a very weird time-filler called the “Golden Idol Awards.” I, unlike the Evil Beet, never really wanted to have sex with Blake Lewis but tonight he really brought down the house with his duet with Doug E Fresh.

Sanjaya! Also performed with a wind machine. Jesus…just when I didn’t think this show could get any more bizzare. Taylor Hicks looks adorable now after losing some weight. I really also think that every C-lister in Hollywood was on hand for the Idol Finale. Jordin also performed with Ruben Studdard who thankfully, unlike Ryan, makes her look tiny.

17 year-old Jordin is the youngest winner in Idol history. I’m interested in seeing what her album will be like. The Idol machine will, I’m guessing, have her drop 30 pounds and she will be on the cover of People in a few months under the headline “How Jordin Got Healthy and Fit!” She will then say that a high protein diet and “the crazy schedule” of her Idols tour help her lose the weight.