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47This Can’t End Well

Miley Cyrus and Mario Lopez, Pictures, Photos

Jailbait Miley Cyrus cuddles up to 34-year-old womanizer Mario Lopez at a taping of America’s Best Dance Crew on the Sony lot.

Run, Miley! Run as fast as your inappropriately dressed legs can take you!

February 27, 2008 at 2:22 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Mario Lopez, Miley Cyrus

16Nicole Kidman: Drinking Backstage at the Oscars?

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From the New York Post’s Cindy Adams:

Boozing backstage during the Oscarcast is a no-no. But if you’re pregnant Nicole Kidman it’s a yes-yes. She wanted white wine. She got it.

I have a really hard time believing this is true, especially since Nicole has wanted to get pregnant for so long, and hubby Keith Urban has struggled with alcoholism forever, but, man, it’d be pretty damn gutsy of the Post to print something like this if they weren’t sure. Normally you run info like that as an obvious blind item; you don’t flatly call out a Hollywood A-lister on something like this.

In fairness, Ms. Adams never actually says Nicole drank the wine. It’s possible she was just using her star wattage to do a favor for the props guys. At least, that’s what the Post is going to say when Nicole’s lawyers call …

February 26, 2008 at 11:17 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Nicole Kidman

26Who, Me? Oh, I Just Happened to Be in the Neighborhood, So I Thought I’d Have Lunch at the Ivy!

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Phoebe Price Ass Butt Pictures, Photos, No Underwear, Panties,

Who the fuck is Phoebe Price?

It is my whole fucking job to know who these people are, and I cannot for the life of me understand why people know or care about Phoebe Price. I’ve basically avoided writing about her in the past, but I think it’s time we got to the bottom of this. Who is she?

I’ve actually been at events with her. I’ve personally watched her whore it up on the red carpet and inside assorted parties, and I still have no idea who she is.

She’s not pretty.

She doesn’t have a famous family.

She doesn’t date a famous person.

She’s not on a TV show, nor has she ever had more than a minor role in a minor movie.

She’s never committed a serious crime or been involved in any scandal.

How did she become famous?

Anyway, here’s Phoebe, doing whatever it is she does on Robertson on Tuesday.

February 26, 2008 at 11:04 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Phoebe Price

4Your Daily Britney

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Britney Spears was spotted leaving the Levis store in LA today.

Her face is still peeling off, but at least it looks better than yesterday.

February 26, 2008 at 7:55 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Britney Spears

27Oh, Shut Up and Go to High School, Ali Lohan

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I guess 14-year-old Ali Lohan thinks she’s “making a name for herself.”

Which is totally true, if by “making a name for herself” she means “being Lindsay Lohan’s little sister.”

Ali’s being featured in the new issue of Teen Vogue — which you should buy only because Blake Lively’s on the cover — and boy does she have some disturbing things to say.

Here’s what she has to say about her impending doom fame:

I want it so bad. So bad you don’t even know. And now, it’s actually happening … I grew up watching Lindsay, and it made me want to do what she does. Just the whole vibe. Being there, being on camera, or onstage, with everybody listening to you … it’s so cool when people look up to you. I’ve already been asked for my autograph, and it’s just a really good feeling to have.

Oh, I don’t even know where to start on this.

First, let’s discuss what’s “actually happening” for Ali right now. She’s co-starring in an upcoming reality TV show with her crazy-ass mother, which Lindsay Lohan is basically refusing to participate in, so the thing’s gonna crash and burn. She’s kinda-sorta thinking about releasing an album, which will fail if it ever gets made, and — to top it all off — she might audition for High School Musical 3! Jesus. Christ. You’ve just described the life of every 14-year-old in the greater Los Angeles area. Honestly, I think that’s how most agents are pitching themselves to the under-20 crowd these days. “I might be able to get you an audition for High School Musical 3!” Let’s just put Ali’s name on an Emmy right now.

And then let’s talk about this: “Being there, being on camera, or onstage, with everybody listening to you … it’s so cool when people look up to you. I’ve already been asked for my autograph, and it’s just a really good feeling to have.”

Yes, exactly, Ali. What you need to start doing at this age is formulating a sense of self-worth based entirely on the misguided feelings of people who never have and never will meet you. At 14, it’s important to be viewed as larger-than-life — deified, almost — by total strangers. That way, when what you feel inside doesn’t even begin to compare with the image the public has created for you, you can have a total meltdown by age 17 and become a raging, self-destructive alcoholic. It’s all worked out so well for Lindsay. I can imagine why you’d want the same.

Take a hint from Jamie-Lynn, Ali — just get knocked up and move on with your life.

February 26, 2008 at 7:31 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Ali Lohan

6Writers Are Lazy Bastards

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Maxim magazine has issued a formal apology to the Black Crowes after printing a dismal review of their upcoming album, written by a writer who hadn’t heard the entire album.

Maxim gave the Crowes’ new album, Warpaint, a rating of two-and-a-half stars out of five.

The band — fronted by Kate Hudson’s ex-husband, Chris Robinson — flipped out, and posted on their website that the writer certainly could not have heard the whole album, as advance copies have not yet been released.

The Crowes’ manager, Pete Angelus, said the magazine explained that its review was an “educated guess.” This is terribly amusing to me, as the Crowes have currently released only one track off the album. Yes, folks, one track. So, I mean, the rating wasn’t based on, like, listening to half the album. The rating was based, I take it, on the “educated guess” that any album put out by the Black Crowes at this point is just gonna suck.

Maxim editorial director James Kaminsky responded Tuesday with this statement: “It is Maxim’s editorial policy to assign star ratings only to those albums that have been heard in their entirety. Unfortunately, that policy was not followed in the March 2008 issue of our magazine and we apologize to our readers.”

This is all too funny to me.

February 26, 2008 at 7:09 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized