Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Harry Potter Grows Up

Good morning, Thursdayheads! In the morning, I always like to pour myself a cup of old, reheated coffee, burn a bagel, and pretend to read a newspaper. (Usually I just flip around until I find “The Wizard of Id” or “Pickles,” because I am basically 12.)

If I were like a real adult, though, maybe I’d be reading the Wall Street Journal right now, but then again, probably only its movie reviews. And I’d be looking for the pictures—you know, the distinctive little stipple-and-crosshatching dealies. God, I love those. They’re so classy.

Harry Potter in the Wall Street Journal 2001-2007

Here are six consecutive years of Harry Potter portraits (or, as I just mistyped, “Harry Porters”), commissioned for the Wall Street Journal‘s movie reviews section. In them, Daniel Radcliffe is visibly aging at a breakneck speed. Boy, it really piques your morbid fascination, doesn’t it? Puts you in touch with your sense of mortality? (Yeah, I know, it’s too early in the day, sorry.)

These illustrations, I just discovered, are properly known in publishing lingo as hedcuts, which makes sense, because I always (correctly!) assumed they are meant to look like woodcuts. They are not called “hedcuts” because the “heds” appear to have been “cut” away from the subjects’ bodies, although that is a pretty good guess.

Hedcuts are the WSJ’s trademark, and the WSJ is duly self-obsessed with them. I think they’re beautiful. I will probably use a hedcut of Kelly Ripa or Alex Blagg as my iPhone wallpaper.

Justin Timberlake And Jessica Biel Are Back Together?

A photo of Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake

Oh dear God, please no.  I thought this was over. I thought that dear Justin Timberlake had moved on to greener pastures with less crazy ladies, but it looks like Biel has worked whatever voodoo powers she has in her arsenal to rope JT back in. Woe is me.

The rumors all started when some random from Toronto Tweeted that Justin and Jessica were getting tacos together. And that was fine, I could accept that, but then Us Weekly stepped up to the plate. And they’re not bringing good news:

Timberlake, 30, and Biel, 29, are “quietly seeing each other again,” says a source. “They have been talking the whole time and decided to give it another shot. Jessica really wanted to get back together with him and Justin realized single life is not what it’s cracked up to be.”

On July 3, the couple shared pork tacos at the Black Hoof restaurant in Toronto. But another insider cautions reconciliation won’t be easy and adds that for now, “they’re just spending time together and taking things slowly.”

I can’t, you guys. Not her. Not when I love Justin so much. Not to be melodramatic, but this is simply too much to bear.

Blind Item: Country Stars and Cocaine!

I am so ready to just jump into this and roll around in it and rejoice in the glory of this blind item, so let’s hop to it, shall we?

From BuzzFoto:

This Country Singer, known for dating just about everyone in Hollywood has started to develop a bad habit. As in, the white stuff. She picked up the habit when she was dating another musician and is now hooked. If our source is correct, her late night partying is going to catch up to her…. soon.

It’s Taylor Swift, right? Can you see it? She’s definitely dated a good few Hollywood dudes, and she does seem a bit too wholesome. Suspiciously so, almost. Or maybe I’m just reaching because, ok, it’s not like I WANT Taylor Swift to be addicted to cocaine, it’s just that it would be so deliciously bizarre to have little TayTay reveal such a dark side.

Or hey, maybe it’s Gwyneth Paltrow. She’s a country star, remember? Do you guys have any other guesses to add to the mix?