Today's Evil Beet Gossip

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Not surprisingly, the Catholic church doesn’t much like Britney Spears. [MollyGood]

Hayden Panettiere saves the whales! [INO]

Padma Lakshmi might be reuniting with her husband. [FListed]

That Lauren Conrad sure can carry a lot of beer. [Drunken Stepfather]

Nicole Richie denies that she was smoking cigarettes while pregnant. [Cele|bitchy]

“I May Not Be Mr. Right, But I’ll Fuck You Til He Shows Up.” [Celebslam]

Lindsay Lohan is attending tango shows now. [Use My Computer]

Sienna Miller takes a cigar like a champ. [Agent Bedhead]

Um, did Heather Mills kill a dog? [Gabby Babble]

Carmen Electra side boob. ‘Nuff said. [Jordan]

Check out my take on last night’s episode of The Hills. [Film.com]

Quotables

Hugh Laurie Battles Depression

“I’m always thinking about the show. I’m too neurotic and too anal and too convinced that we’re going to fail to relax. Every show we do, every scene we shoot, is a disaster, I’m convinced of it. I go home at the end of the day and my head is full of all the mistakes I’ve made. I beat myself up about what I’ve stuffed up the day before. I’m looking for things to go wrong. I’m not rejoicing or lying back and enjoying it.”

House star and total hottie Hugh Laurie, who also says he’s battling mild depression and sees a therapist regularly.

Kanye West to Write a Book

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Wish you could finally have all that Kanye wisdom without any of that annoying music?

Your wish is Kanye’s command.

The rapper will be releasing a book, Thank You and You’re Welcome!, early next year.

Kanye calls it “an entertaining volume of ‘Kanye-isms’– the creative, humorous, and insightful philosophies and anecdotes used in creating my path to success. It captures the same wit, playful irony, and piercing insight found abundant in my lyrics. In Thank You and You’re Welcome!, I deliver my personal message uncensored, without any five-second delay or media distortion.”

I smell a Nobel!

I Thought I Was Over Adam Duritz

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I know I said I’d moved on after this picture surfaced, but, dammit, when I read about him running around town with Ivanka Freakin’ Trump, that little green monster just comes right out. Look, I may not want him anymore, but you certainly can’t have him, Ivanka.

FORGETFULNESS got Ivanka Trump off the hook Friday night, when the exhausted heiress was coaxed by friends to hit East Village staple Black & White – but wasn’t let in because she didn’t have her ID. “She had Adam Duritz in tow, they were all at a birthday party together,” said our spy. When the Counting Crows frontman couldn’t convince the bouncer to let her in, Trump gratefully went home. She told Page Six she was glad for the excuse: “It was fine. I had no particular interest in going anyway.”

That’s right, ‘Vanki. Go on home.

Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine. Mine.

Paris Hilton Says She’s Going to Rwanda Next Year

Paris Hilton Going to Rwanda Next Year

Even though this year’s brief foray into humanitarianism was postponed, Paris still hopes to go to Rwanda, hopefully in the next year.

“We were supposed to be going in November, but then the charity is doing restructuring and figuring things out. It’s going to be for next year. I know (Rwanda) went through a lot of traumatic experiences, and I feel like if I go there, I can help save some people’s lives,” she said.

I just think it’s funny that “traumatic experience” is the same phrase she used to describe her jail stay for violating her DUI probation.

Let’s see:

The consequences of probation violation.

Genocide.

Yup. Pretty comparable.