Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Afternoon Delight

hot black and white photo of meg ryan pictures photos

Ali Larter‘s big, glorious breasts. [The Superficial]

What Paris Hilton would look like with nine inches of her nose Photoshopped away. [theBerry]

Meg Ryan and John Mellencamp look like drug addicts in love. [Starpulse]

Cindy Crawford still looks hot at forty-five. [Bossip]

So many unfair reasons as to why I hate the Angels. [Socialite Life]

This is the Marine that’s got Mila Kunis going to his balls. Er, ball. [Amy Grindhouse]

13 Inappropriate celebrity rappers. [The Frisky]

Megan Fox looking … kind of different on the set of The Dictator. [Caught on Set]

Photos of a very, very pregnant Selma Blair. [Celebuzz]

Looking fondly back on a decade of Harry Potter. [Pajiba]

Renee Zellweger and John Stamos: for real? [I'm Not Obsessed]

OH PLEASE YES Bridget Jones 3. [Cele|bitchy]

Film’s dirtiest scenes. [Huff Po]

People who are famous for sleeping with those who are famous. [Bossip]

Paris Hilton’s baby bump. Or something. [INFDaily]

Charlize Theron Is Totally Boning Ryan Reynolds

Ryan Reynolds and Charlize Theron in early June

Wait, what? No. NO. Maybe. I mean, I can understand, but I am also pretty worried about that headline I just wrote. Can’t everyone just take some time off, do some soul-searching, maybe a little pilates?

Like, I ‘get’ why Ryan Reynolds and Charlize Theron would go for each other. They’re both funny. They both like privacy. They’re both kind of big and golden and bronze and athletic. They’re serial monogamists, too—Theron recently split from her boyfriend of ten years, Stuart Townsend.

From today’s issue of US Weekly, this month-old “breaking” news:

While the two haven’t been photographed together, a witness noticed Reynolds’ motorcycle at Theron’s home all morning on June 5, then saw the actor exit her house around 3 p.m.—and she left just minutes later.

Has Reynolds (who split from wife Scarlett Johansson last December) found a perfect match?

Er? Listen, Anonymous Eyewitness, “I saw Ryan at Charlize’s house mid-morning” is kind of the least salacious gossip ever. Ryan likely motored over to Charlize’s to replace a lightbulb, have some salmon on toast, and do a quick bong rip. I’m really not kidding about the lightbulb thing, either. When I was super-duper single, my apartment was a steady stream of men, all of whom were lifting my TV, installing my air conditioners, and being handy. (As opposed to being “handsy,” if you know what I mean.)

Late last week, Ryan and Scarlett went to dinner together, Page Six reports, during which Scarlett “kept caressing his face” and Ryan “would rub her back periodically.” Gee, I guess the truth is out: everyone is in love with everyone.

Why Yes, I Do Hate Dakota Fanning’s New Hair

photo of dakota fanning short hair pictures photos now is good pics

OK, I know it’s a little harsh to say such hateful things about a seventeen-year-old, but you know how it goes sometimes. Still, I guess I shouldn’t be such a bitch, considering she chopped it all off to play a chemo patient in her new movie, Now is Good. According to IMDB:

“A girl dying of leukemia compiles a list of things she’d like to do before passing away. Topping the list is her desire to lose her virginity.”

Hm. Interesting concept for a movie – it’s like The Bucket List, just for kids. And Dakota Fanning, I mean, she’s a great actress. Definitely someone to continue watching on the big screen, because she’s going to be an even bigger name in coming years, you mark my words. Still, though, and sick or not – I just can’t see Dakota Fanning trying to seduce anyone – especially while looking like Marshall Mathers.