Today's Evil Beet Gossip

I’d Be Unhappy if Denise Richards Was My Mom, Too

Denise Richards with Daughters Sam and Lola

Denise Richards puts on a brave face with her grumpy Sheen-spawn, Sam and Lola, at a Disney-sponsored party in Bel Air on Thursday.

There are seriously nearly 40 pictures of Denise and these children on WireImage right now. There is not a single picture in which these kids look anything short of miserable. I checked them all. Look at their eyes! They’re like, “Save me from this childhood!” I just find this incredibly funny and I needed to share it with you all.

Denise Richards and Daughters Denise Richards and Daughters with Princess Jasmine Denise Richards and Daughters with Princess Jasmine Picture Denise Richards and Her Sad, Sad Children denise_kids5.jpg denise_kids6.jpg

Danny Bonaduce is One Classy Sonofabitch

Check out these videos of famewhore Danny Bonaduce getting lap dances at his divorce party in Hollywood on Thursday night. The goings-on were thoughtfully narrated by Adam Carolla during a live radio broadcast. This is Bonaduce’s second divorce (although, to my knowledge, it’s his first on-air divorce party).

Thanks to LARagMag for the videos.

Calum Best Is Wise

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Good call Calum.

“I’m a bad boy. I go out and get drunk, I get high on cocaine and I do stupid debauched things with the wrong women. When I’m high I do wild stupid shit. I’m a red-blooded male and I’m addicted to sex. I don’t have to be like my dad, but I feel his blood running through my veins. I need to sort out my problems before it’s too late.”

So you have figured out the problem. The next step I think is to get some help. Maybe check into the same rehab as your girlfriend so that you can get some lovin while you know, trying not to kill yourself with booze like your dad.

Mr. T Knows Fashion Too

EvilT is our resident fashionista (distant relative of the sandinistas) but Mr. T deserves some credit on that front too. Don’t believe me? Want to be utterly confused? How about a wonderful look back at the beloved 80s?

Don’t say I never gave you anything. And feel free to use the comments section to explain exactly what the hell this is. They don’t seem to be selling anything, and it’s a rant with no context.

But I’ve said enough. Enjoy it.

Page Six is Retarded

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Why is Page Six Retarded?…Because they ran this little blurb today.

CORNY crooner Michael Bublé isn’t entirely the ladies’ man he fancies himself to be. The never-bashful balladeer was spotted “boasting to anyone who would listen” in the bar at the Hotel Costes K in Paris the other night, “wearing this ridiculous vest and bragging to everyone about how women fall all over him and how amazing he is,” our witness reports. But when he tried out his moves by flirting with Emily Blunt, who was also at the hotel, he completely struck out.

Michael has been dating Emily Blunt for three years. Most people don’t “strike out” with their significant other. They actually live together in Vancover. I’m guessing that he was being a bit of a flirt and braggart because that is the kind of fellow that he is. Decoding that…yes he is a douchebag but he is Emily’s doucebag. Some fact checker totally just got fired.