Let’s kick this one off with a shot of Michelle Pfeiffer getting ready to make out with her sister, Dedee, because that’s hot.
We’ve also got Carmen Electra, out to disprove anyone who would dare argue that she has a neck.
And my darling Brittany Snow, who seems to have a much better grasp on the fundamentals of make-up application than the last time we saw her.
Amanda Bynes NAKED AND NUDE.
I’m kidding. It’ll just be funny when I get the search engine traffic. And by funny I mean lucrative.
Update: Ha! We’re now on the front page of U.S. Google results for both “Amanda Bynes nude” and “Amanda Bynes naked,” and, yes, I’m getting plenty of search engine traffic as a result. This shit is so much fun, you guys!
Okay, we’re doing this in several parts, because there are just too many fabulous photos from this event. We’ll start with John Travolta, walking the red carpet with the portion of his family that doesn’t have autism. He actually doesn’t look half bad, although my guess is that the list of plastic surgery procedures he’s had in the past year is about as long as the list of available treatments for his son’s autism, should he ever choose to acknowledge it. Kelly totally misread the invite and thought this was the Valley of the Dolls premiere. And I’m pretty sure Ella is sporting hair extensions.
It seems the psychological wounds of her brief jail stay cut deeper into Paris Hilton’s soul than we’d been led to believe; the traumatizing experience has left the heiress so angry, hopeless and ungrounded that she’s resorted to using drugs for the very first time in her life.
PARIS Hilton seems to be up to her old tricks again. Although she told Larry King she’d never done drugs, the newly spiritual heirhead emerged from an SUV in front of Hollywood club Teddy’s the other night in what witnesses describe as a cloud of marijuana smoke. “She took a huge puff off of a joint, then opened the door and exhaled the pot smoke basically in my face,” one clubgoer told us. At least she wasn’t driving.
You guys, I think we need to take a good, hard look at ourselves. I know we all wanted to see Paris do some hard time. I know it was good for a laugh. I know it sold a lot of magazines. But did we ever once think that the justice system’s totally warranted actions could lead a virgin with a lifetime of sobriety into the dirty underbelly of Hollywood’s marijuana subculture? What have we done?
After everything Paris Hilton just went through, you’d think Nicole Richie would just shut up and play nice with the court system, but no such luck. Nicole announced in mid-June that she was going to fight her DUI charge, and her trial was supposed to start tomorrow, but her lawyer showed up at an L.A. courthouse today to ask that the trial be postponed until August 5. Why? Well, Dr. Terence McGee, a nationally recognized expert on drug testing, can’t testify until August. Is Nicole going to contest the results of the drug testing? I think mostly they’re just doing everything in their power to push this thing back so that Nicole doesn’t have to give birth in jail. At any rate, the commissioner (What’s a commissioner? Why isn’t it a judge? Legal people, help!) said he would not make a ruling, and ordered both parties back in court tomorrow morning, which is when the trial is scheduled to begin.
Meanwhile, Nicole flew off to Canada yesterday (hiding her face and belly with a pillow as she walked through LAX) to hang out with Joel Madden while he plays a show there, but perhaps she should consider boarding a plane back home tonight. Or are we going to have to extradite her?
Apparently Paris Hilton’s new image make-over involves her spending her time seeing Very Important Movies. Even though Fantastic Four and Evan Almighty are playing at The Grove, Paris instead chose to spend her time there seeing Michael Moore’s healthcare documentary, Sicko.
Mostly, though, I like this picture because the security guard appears to be taking his job so very seriously. If there’s something this world sorely lacks, it’s mall security guards who are willing to throw their own bodies in between celebrities and the paparazzi.
If you want to watch the entire CNN piece, including the introductory segment CNN did on Sicko, it’s here:
And if you’d like to read Moore’s post-show rebuttal on his website, you can read it here. I’m not typically one of those “the media is lying to us all” types, but Moore makes some very good points. CNN not only twisted their facts (and Moore’s site points you directly to the primary sources, so you can check for yourself), they had some absolutely blatant errors in their discussion of the film.
Look, I don’t claim to know anything about anything, but I did watch Sicko, and I do find it just a little bit disturbing that health care is free in all industrialized Western nations other than the U.S. Seriously, no one pays out of pocket for any non-elective medical procedure in Britain, France and even Cuba. They don’t even have health insurance companies like we do in the U.S. Like, if you need heart surgery, no problem! You just go ahead and get it, for free, and everyone is automatically insured, just by being a citizen. Of course, your taxes are higher to pay for it, but that seems like a small price to pay to not have to worry all the time about what health care is going to cost you. In much the same way that you’d never think about having to pay the fire department for putting out the fire in your apartment building, or paying the policeman for stopping that guy who’s mugging you, people in those nations never think about paying the doctor who’s saving their lives. I just think it would be really nice to have that here.