Today's Evil Beet Gossip

I Would Also Prefer County Jail Please

Nicole Richie Wants Her Some County Jail

LOS ANGELES (AP) — Nicole Richie wants to do her time in the Los Angeles County jail. Richie’s lawyer contacted the county Sheriff’s Department earlier this week and indicated the reality TV star wanted to serve her four-day sentence in county lockup rather than a city jail, sheriff’s spokesman Steve Whitmore said Thursday.

See, this is planning. You’ve got to own your surroundings people. County jail = good, city jail = bad. It’s the same thing with mice actually.

The only odd thing is:

Richie was ordered to spend 90 hours, either in county jail or at any city jail in the county that would accept her.

It’s only 90 hours, three and a half days, how bad could city jail be? Also, given the language of that order I would just build my own jail and have it accept me. My jail would have a dolphin tank if that helps you get the vibe of what my jail would be all about.

I Already Miss Sporty Spice

Bad news guys. Remember that absolutely horrible little group called the Spice Girls that you invariably liked for about 6 months back in 1996? Well, they won’t be looking like a few hot chicks commingling with some ugglies anymore. Nope, they are going Versace! From The Mirror.co.Uk:

Sporty can ditch her dodgy tracksuits – because Donatella Versace will be designing the Spice Girls’ outfits for their comeback tour. We can exclusively reveal that the flamboyant Italian is creating an array of show-stopping outfits for their reunion gigs.

What?? The whole fun of the thing was that they looked like goons. Baby was a baby! Sporty could race you. Spicy could give you pepper. Wait, was there a Spicy Spice? Hmmm.. probably not. Anyhow, if you read the article you’ll also get some fun news about a pregnant woman working out really hard so she’ll be able to rock her Versace the right way. Also, please enjoy the following fun video that features genius Maya Rudolph impersonating Donatella.

A Note from Management

Hello my loves!

Well, I know we have had quite a week, with all the drama with the layout changes, new advertisers, etc. I hope everyone can view the layout properly now. If the site still looks weird to you, do Ctrl-F5 on a PC, or Apple-R on a Mac. This should fix the problem. Thank you guys so much for hanging in there while we got all of that fixed, and for providing feedback. The poll is still pretty much all tied up, so I’ll be looking at it and making some executive decisions early next week.

In personal news, I am moving from beautiful, sunny Los Angeles to beautiful, sunny, sticky New York City today, which is very exciting but also enormously stressful. I won’t be around much the next few days, but you’ll have Evil T and Spiteful Lars around to keep you company, and I’ve invited a few other friends to join the mix, so we’ll just see how that goes. Make sure to heckle them lots, as they’re plenty nervous to begin with and should be easy targets. If all goes well, I’ll be back to spew my nonsense on Monday.

xoxo
Beet

The Guy May Hate His Daughter… but He Loves Sea Cows!!

Alec Baldwin wants to save you, provided you’re a manatee.

Honestly this is a huge cheapshot… but what the hell, I haven’t written for the Beet in weeks and I know everyone misses my particular brand of spite. How do I know? Letters… telegrams.. and that one airplane skywriting message that truly went above and beyond.

ENGLEWOOD, Fla. (AP) — Alec Baldwin wants Floridians to be more aware of the plight of manatees. The actor and producer has recorded two 30-second public service announcements for the Save the Manatee Club. The animals are on the federal endangered species list and at risk of being seriously injured or killed by boat strikes.

I really don’t have a joke other than to say that Manatees have done their level best, via evolution, to go extinct. They swim around two miles per hour, on the surface of the water, and they weigh a jillion pounds each. So motor boats pick them off like deer on a highway. Also, they are also called “sea cows” – I think, so this is totally not a jab at the Manatee by this guy. If it were up to me I’d ban motor boats and the beer guzzling yahoos that pilot them.

It’s actually all kind of sad, and I imagine if the manatee were cuter it would get starlets excited about saving it. As it stands it only gets a gravelly voice guy who occasionally loses his temper on the phone.

T-Shirt Chic

Mary-Kate Olsen at Weeds Premiere Red Carpet, Pictures and Photos

Lord only knows what Mary-Kate Olsen is wearing to the premiere screening of Weeds. I actually like the T-shirt a lot, I just don’t think it’s appropriate at a red carpet event, and those pants aren’t appropriate anywhere ever. And the cross is just gaudy, MK. Would you dress like that for church? But her hair and make-up are great, and the head shots are stunning.

Mary-Kate Olsen at Weeds Premiere Red Carpet, Pictures and Photos Mary-Kate Olsen at Weeds Premiere Red Carpet, Pictures and Photos Mary-Kate Olsen at Weeds Premiere Red Carpet, Pictures and Photos

Well This is an Effective Way to Dispel Rumors That There’s Trouble in Your Marriage

Adam Sandler, Wife Jackie and Daughter Sadie, Pics, Pictures Photos

Seriously, how often does a WireImage photog just show up on the set of an Adam Sandler movie on the same day that his wife and kid are there?

Okay, you guys don’t look through every photo on WireImage like three times a day, so trust me when I say this is really random.

In the aftermath of rumors earlier this week that there was trouble in Sandler-dise, Adam’s wife Jackie and their one-year-old daughter, Sadie, showed up on the NYC set of You Don’t Mess with the Zohan to pose adorably together and there just happened to be an internationally syndicated photo service there! Now that’s comedic timing!

sandler_family1.jpg Adam Sandler and Daughter Sadie, Pictures and Photos sandler_family3.jpg

POLL: Which Background Do You Want for Evil Beet?

There seems to be some difference of opinion on which background we should use moving forward.

The old one, with the faces of all the celebs, was popular, but it made for slow load times for people with slower connections (and on mobile viewers). The new one is definitely less interesting, but it loads a lot faster. Or maybe some of you like the solid color background, but you don’t like the pink. So we’re putting it to a vote. Let us know what you think.

Which background would you prefer?
View Results

Update: If you are still having trouble viewing the new layout, hit Ctrl+F5 (if you’re on a PC) or Apple+R (if you’re on a Mac). This will force a refresh in your browser and should resolve the problem.