Today's Evil Beet Gossip

J Woww Fulfills Your Fantasies, Eats Pasta in Bed

photo of hot j woww jenni farley nudes pictures maxim eating pasta in bed pics

What, that’s not your fantasy? Pasta in bed? It’s definitely one of mine. I could eat pasta every damned day. And in bed, too. And I would, if I could do it without putting on, you know, fifty pounds because of it.

But alas, some bitches have all the luck. Like Jersey Shore‘s Jenni Farley, otherwise known as J Woww. (I can’t believe she’s still carrying around that stupid nickname. I mean, it’s ALMOST as stupid as Snooki.)

Anyway, Maxim photos of a scantily-clad J Woww eating pasta in bed. You’re welcome.

What’s your call: hot or trashy?

Sean Penn Has a New Girlfriend That Doesn’t Wear Stupid Toe Sneakers

photo of sean penn running with girlfriend stacey koplin pictures

Alright, since when is Sean Penn such an exercise freak? Did he realize that if it looks like he’s keeping up appearances and isn’t letting himself turn to mush that it’s more likely for him to get hot pieces of ass? Because this cigarette-smoking half-centurion is doing nothing but throwing up flashbombs as far as I’m concerned.

Here are some photos of Sean Penn‘s new girlfriend, Stacey Koplin, who is … I have no idea who she is. She doesn’t even have a Wiki page, ffs. I can’t even find a crapping LinkedIn profile, and you know that’s some bad business right there. The only thing I was able to dig up was a “Stacey Koplin” of Santa Monica, CA. The private MySpace profile says she’s thirty-seven years old, so this could very well be Penn’s new piece.

Morning Wood

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PHOTOS: Selena Gomez takes “private pictures” while on vacation with Bieber. [The Superficial]

Has Jay-Z been cheating on Beyonce for the last ten years? [Bossip]

Who topped the Forbes’ Highest Paid list this year? [Starpulse]

Maria Shriver doesn’t want a talk show, probably wants … um, something else. [TMZ]

Now wait a damn second. Zac Efron is dating WHO? [Lainey Gossip]

Details: Adele‘s going to resume her tour. [Socialite Life]

Reese Witherspoon has a new tattoo … [Yeeeah]

Kim Kardashian bashes Casey Anthony lawyers … it’s too bad we all remember who her father is. [LA Times]

Johnny Depp is probably the richest actor in Hollywood. [Pajiba]

Did Justin Timberlake take Jessica Biel back? [Celebuzz]

Kimberly Stewart is HUGE. [Amy Grindhouse]

Is Twilight coming between Peter Facinelli and Jennie Garth? [Cele|bitchy]

How Liv Tyler gets into character. [The Frisky]

We know who January Jones‘ baby daddy is. [The Frisky]

Rachel Weisz shows off her wedding ring. [Rumor Fix]