So I’ve finally arrived in San Diego, had a lovely dinner of Chinese food with my super-genius kid sister, and then she settled down in her bedroom to study the kind of thing that super-genius PhD students study, and I set up my laptop in the living room to catch up on a day’s worth of gossip. My super-genius little sister dedicates absolutely zero percent of her time to following celebrity gossip, because she’s busy saving the environment and stuff.
I discover that the new Britney Spears video has been released, and I watch it. My sister wanders out of her room. “What is that noise?” I tell her I’m watching the new Britney Spears video, and she peers over my shoulder, curiously, to see what could possibly be so interesting. “Is that supposed to be her?” she asks. “Because it doesn’t look a thing like her.” She pauses, thinks, and then from her super-genius mouth: “You know, I think she thinks she’s a lot prettier than she actually is.”
Ah, from the mouths of babes…
Here’s the video.
It kinda sucks.
But you knew that.
March 12, 2008 at 9:57 pm by Evil Beet
So I’m taking a break for the rest of the day to drive back to SoCal, where I’ll make a pit stop in San Diego to bother my genius PhD-student little sister during her finals (and she hates when I talk about her on this blog, so I’ll be sure to give you guys a comprehensive update on how she’s doing), and then it’s off to LA, where I’ll be hitting up the Conway & Whitman show on 97.1 to blab for an hour about whatever it is I do. I’ll be on from 10-11 pm PST on Thursday night, so be sure to tune in. If you’re not in LA, you can listen on their website.
I’ll check back in with you guys tonight!
March 12, 2008 at 12:08 pm by Evil Beet
David Letterman dedicated five-and-a-half minutes of his opening monologue to Elliot Spitzer, including a call for his resignation. Check out the video above.
In addition, the Top Ten list was “Top Ten Messages Left on Elliot Spitzer’s Answering Machine.” That clip is after the jump.
March 12, 2008 at 1:37 am by Evil Beet
Donald and Melania took little Barron — who turns two on March 20 — to a fundraising event for the Memorial Sloan-Kettering Cancer Center in Midtown.
This is one seriously adorable child. The Donald must be pissed that another ultra-wealthy Barron — cough cough — went and got himself a DUI, proving that no matter what an absurdly elitist name you choose to award your child, you can’t stop him from eventually behaving like a human being.
Meanwhile, on the Upper West Side, Barron’s 30-year-old half-brother Donald Jr took wife Vanessa to the American Museum of Natural History’s Winter Dance, where they were joined by Anne Hathaway, Tinsley Mortimer, Jessica Stam, Amanda Hearst, Ralph Lauren, Thom Filicia, and other people who you might imagine attend any manner of “Winter Dance” after the eighth grade. I don’t even think I attended the winter dance in eighth grade. I had my parents drop me off, then promptly went behind the school to get high while I let my boyfriend get to third base. Because even at age thirteen I understood that I was way too cool for anything called a Winter Dance. Apparently these folks never got the memo.
March 12, 2008 at 1:33 am by Evil Beet
Paris and Benji hit up LA Fashion Week events after spending the day together at a spa in WeHo.
He looks like a Blues Brother.
You know Paris is not having sex with him. I’m sorry, call her a slut all you want, I guaran-fucking-tee you this chick does not go home at the end of the night and spread her legs for this dude. It just doesn’t happen.
March 12, 2008 at 12:54 am by Evil Beet
Yeah, you read that right.
That Billy Crystal.
The New York Yankees have signed Crystal to a one-day minor league contract, and he’ll play in Thursday’s exhibition game against the Pittsburgh Pirates.
He’ll wear the number 60, as the game will take place a day before his 60th birthday.
“I’ve been waiting 50 years for this call,” Crystal said in a statement released by the team. “I’m overwhelmed by the generosity of the Yankees and commissioner Selig. I know this’ll be tougher than the Broadway Softball League, but I’m looking forward to helping the younger players, which by the way is all of them. Oops, I have to go, Scott Boras* is on the phone.”
* I imagine that most of the readers of this blog will, much like me, not understand what’s funny about that. Scott Boras, it turns out, is some hot-spot sports agent that reps a bunch of hot-shot baseball players. Ha ha.