Today's Evil Beet Gossip

I Guess John Goodman Was at Promises …

John Goodman was in Rehab at Promises, Checked Out

It’s alcoholism day, kids!!!

Oh, who am I kidding?

Every day is alcoholism day around here! If it weren’t for alcoholism and drug addiction, my ass would be out of a job. Thank you, alcoholism!!

Anyway, John Goodman managed to quietly slip in and out of Promises, and, for some reason, he issued a statement through his rep about it today.

“For my family and myself, I voluntarily took the necessary steps to remain sober the rest of my life,” he said.

Well, good for you, John!

The Lohan Curse Continues

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Well, I don’t know if it’s a “curse” so much as it’s “alcoholism,” but another member of the Lohan clan has been busted on DUI.

ANOTHER member of Lindsay Lohan’s family has been busted for DWI and drugs. Her uncle, Matthew Sullivan, was allegedly caught drunk and in possession of marijuana by Long Island cops. Sullivan, 46, of Merrick, was stopped by state troopers on Meadowbrook Parkway on Oct. 3 just before 11 p.m. Eric Phillips, a spokesman for Nassau DA Kathleen Rice, told The Post’s Kieran Crowley that Sullivan blew a .13 on the Breathalizer. The legal limit is .08.

I assume this is her maternal uncle, because of the last name. Poor Lindsay’s got this shit on both sides.

Britney Loses Visitation Rights with Kids

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Ugh.

I’m not even excited about these stories any more. This is just so sad.

A judge on Thursday revoked Britney’s visitations rights with her children, because she refused to provide the drug testing facility with contact information so they could reach her to conduct the random drug tests.

So, basically, either Britney just doesn’t think the law applies to her, or she values her drug use above her children. Or maybe both. I don’t know. But it’s horrible when you consider that there are actual small children involved here who now cannot see their mother.

Brit and K-Fed will be back in a court room on October 26, when they’ll try once again to hammer out their parenting arrangement.

After getting the bad news, Britney hit up Sunset Tan in Hollywood, where manager Nick appeared to be functioning as her bodyguard as she left the place. “This is why I wanted the cops here,” she says as she navigates through the photogs. “I’m never coming here again.”

I think I sense some misplaced anger.

Quotables

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“I left the table and Errol (Lyon, Anderson’s driver) played in my place. I came back to find myself $250,000 in the hole to Rick! Rick, being the gentleman, said he would wipe my debt if I gave him a kiss, so I have to thank Vegas for our relationship switching gears! It evolved into spending every day — and then nights — together.”

Pamela Anderson, who wed Salomon — the same guy who tried to stick a champagne bottle up Paris Hilton’s snatch on camera — in Las Vegas earlier this month.

My Lesbian Girlfriend Thinks You Should Stay in School

Jaslene Gonzalez from Americas Next Top Model at 2nd Annual Entertainers 4 Education Alliance “Stay In School” Event

ANTM winner Jaslene Gonzalez — who some of you might also recognize as the lesbian love of my life — made an appearance at the 2nd Annual Entertainers 4 Education Alliance Stay In School event.

Look at my girlfriend, always do-gooding!

I sure do know how to pick women.

Although whoever did her make-up for this needed to stay in beauty school another year or so. I am not digging the nude lipstick with the rest of the look. It doesn’t do her chin any favors.

Jaslene Gonzalez from Americas Next Top Model at 2nd Annual Entertainers 4 Education Alliance “Stay In School” Event Jaslene Gonzalez from Americas Next Top Model at 2nd Annual Entertainers 4 Education Alliance “Stay In School” Event Jaslene Gonzalez from Americas Next Top Model at 2nd Annual Entertainers 4 Education Alliance “Stay In School” Event Jaslene Gonzalez from Americas Next Top Model at 2nd Annual Entertainers 4 Education Alliance “Stay In School” Event