Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Is Top Chef’s Casey a Proxy for Hillary Clinton?

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From NY Times restaurant critic Frank Bruni, regarding tonight’s finale of Top Chef:

[T]his contest seem[s] like a timely echo of, or overture to, the precedent-courting presidential race: Will there be a first woman Top Chef or a first nonwhite Top Chef or maybe even a first openly gay Top Chef?

It’s possible that’s pushing it a little too far. It’s just a show on Bravo, guys.

Who do you guys want to win?

I’m pretty much Team Casey, but, in lieu of that, I’ll settle for a spot on Team Anyone But Hung.

Is Britney Going Back to Rehab?

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I feel it’s my duty to report this rumor, although IMHO, it’s total bullshit.

OK! is saying that Britney might return to the Eric Clapton Crossroads rehab in Antigua, where she spent nearly 24 hours at the beginning of this year, to try to get sober and get her kids back.

Yeah, right.

Even her BFF Alli Sims has gone on the record all like, “Not gonna happen.”

Britney couldn’t even show up at the court hearing today to try to get her kids back.

Homegirl is not checking into rehab. She doesn’t care anymore.

Kevin’s Keeping Custody!

Kevin Federline is Keeping Custody of Britney Spears Kids

After a 3-hour court hearing, an L.A. judge determined that K-Fed will keep sole custody of Jayden and Sean, and Britney will be allowed monitored visits.

Kevin showed up to the hearing.

Britney did not, although photos indicate she was in Los Angeles at the time. In fact, she was posing for the paparazzi in the Valley while the hearing was taking place.

There will be another hearing on Oct 26 to determine if the custody arrangement should be changed.

(It probably shouldn’t.)

Rosie’s Memoirs Pretty Much as Weird as You Expected They’d Be

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From USA Today:

Reading Celebrity Detox is like having a patient on the couch without the necessary medical degree to sort through what’s insightful and what’s just nutty.

This is a train wreck of a book — part self-help psychobabble, part searing memoir — by a grown woman who lost her mother as a child …

Too-much-information is not a concept O’Donnell embraces. You will learn how fame affected her bowel habits, that she “inseminated” her partner, Kelli, and that her son once told her, in the bathtub, that he didn’t like her fat belly. (She told him she didn’t like it either.)

The review also includes this choice quote from the book, regarding Rosie’s relationship with Barbara Walters:

“… you did not defend me. And I have been a good, loyal daughter to you. And I want you to be a good mother to me. Don’t let the bad man hurt me.”

I don’t say this often, but, seriously, gag me with a spoon.

Quality Time with Daddy

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Lindsay Lohan headed out for her first overnight visit away from rehab this week, accompanied by fellow recovering alcohol and father Michael Lohan.

The two of them will be gone for five days. Daddy’s rented a four-bedroom cabin in the Utah woods, and plans to spend the days going on lots of walks with his daughter and having nice, long talks about her future. At night, they plan to use Lindsay’s kick-ass connections to score some killer blow and get way fucking high.