Today's Evil Beet Gossip

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OH MY GOD! CHRISTINA AGUILERA IS PREGNANT!! Who’d’ve guessed? [Derek Hail]

Barbara Walters hates Heather Mills, just like everyone else. [Mollygood]

Julia Roberts rocks the cover of Vanity Fair. [INO]

Hayden Panettiere has gas. [Drunken Stepfather]

Robert Downey Jr is blonde. Which I guess is still better than drunk. But it’s close. [popbytes]

Check out this review of Jerry Seinfeld’s Bee Movie. [Pajiba]

Angelina doesn’t want to be in close proximity to Jennifer Aniston, even on the pages of a magazine. [DListed]

In case you care about the World Music Awards, here’s some photos. We didn’t cover them on here because dfaiuu9408u79dfva98y6as dg8097fsd793vnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnndfuadf. Shit. I fell asleep at my keyboard again. [Celebslam]

Check out Barack Obama on Saturday Night Live. [Bossip]

Comparing Notes on Brody Jenner’s Penis: Nicole Richie and Lauren Conrad Are Friends Now

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There should really be some manner of Brody Jenner Slept with Me to Be Famous club. Instead of giving out free toasters, they could give out reality TV shows. Or a 4-week stay at Promises. Either works.

Lauren Conrad and Nicole Richie — who have both been linked to Brody, along with the rest of Hollywood — are apparently all buddy-buddy now, lunching together at Joan’s last week, and getting sushi together on Sunday night.

Get ready to see Nicole’s baby on The Hills, kids.

Blind Item!

WHICH struggling starlet is as obnoxious and stuck-up in real life as she is in her terrible teen flicks? She was rude and cruel to the staff and to a young fan during a free meal she chowed down at a high-end Midtown restaurant.

[source]

More Quotables

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“It’s been a very interesting year. I’ve learned many lessons, like no more phones. In New York I’m the bad girl, I’m the good girl, I’m a controversial girl, and I’ve been through so much in this city. I’m a recovering addict and alcoholic, of which I’m not ashamed.”

Rehabbed supermodel Naomi Campbell, at the 37th annual scholarship and awards dinner for the Black Action Retail Group.

Jewel’s Back, and Not with a Book of Poetry

Jewel Kilcher to Release Country Album, Signed with Valory Music Company

Thank God for small favors.

Jewel’s special brand of angst is coming to the country world!

She’s signed with a country label and plans to pursue life on the country charts.

“If I had been discovered now, living in my car in San Diego, I think I would have been signed as a country act,” she says. “As a singer/songwriter and as a storyteller, I’m old fashioned. I like a beginning middle and end to my songs. That’s pretty much just country radio now.”

Seriously, Jewel, you haven’t been living in your car for like 20 years now. You’ve been living on a sprawling ranch with a male model. Can we move on?