Today's Evil Beet Gossip

The Dark Knight Rises Teaser Trailer is Here!

So it’s here! I mean, sort of. I know we’re probably going to wait at least another eight months or so for a real trailer, so I suppose we’ll just have to deal with the crumbs being thrown at us for now.

Incidentally, what’s with the whole “conclusion” thing? I mean, as if they’re ever going to stop making Batman movies? Come on. It’s just never going to happen. Unless the world really IS going to end sometime over the next eighteen months, that’s the only way I see The Dark Knight Rises being the “conclusion” to the series.

Update: Betty White a No-Go, Apologizes Classily

Betty White is striking in a crisp cyan jacket on June 2

I have some depressing news. I don’t even know what to say, you guys. This is really difficult for me.

Betty White will not be attending the annual Marine Corps Ball.

I KNOW. I thought for sure Sgt. Ray Lewis had a lock on this, because his YouTube proposal was darling. But Ms. White has other commitments.

Still, her rejection letter was a class act. From Access Hollywood:

“I am deeply flattered and truly appreciate the invitation, as everyone knows I love a man in uniform… but unfortunately I cannot accept, as I will be taping an episode of Hot In Cleveland,” White said in a statement to Access Hollywood.

She signed her statement, “Love, Betty White.”

Mila Kunis and Justin Timberlake, however, will still accompany their respective dates to their respective balls as planned.

“Marines have a lot of balls,” Kunis said.

While Justin added, “We want to pay honor to our country and embrace their balls.”

In the meantime, Sgt. Lewis is disappointed but unruffled: “Fifteen minutes was great!” he tweeted.

I Don’t Know What Dina Lohan Is Doing, But She Looks Fantastic

A photo of Dina Lohan

This is Dina Lohan. She gave birth to our number one girl, Lindsay, and also a couple of other less important Lohans. She’s 48 years old. And she looks loads better than her most famous child.

From what I can tell, these pictures are from this medieval-themed party in the Hamptons. Dina’s the producer of some new show on Bravo, and apparently she co-hosted this party? I don’t know, the details are a little muddled to me, but I don’t think it matters since there’s a sex dungeon involved:

Dina Lohan played Queen of the Hamptons Saturday night at the 15,000-square-foot Watermill castle of billionaire playboy Ivan Wilzig. In a medieval-style flowing dress, and a flowered veil, Lindsay Lohan’s mom even had a cadre of identically dressed young ladies-in-waiting who sat at her feet as she held court and flirted with Wilzig, a k a “Sir Ivan,” at his annual regally themed bash. When a young party girl who’d taken the dress code for the fete less seriously passed, Queen Dina barked, “That’s not very medieval!”

Later, a Page Six reporter uncovered a hidden gem in the castle: a black room with a large swing chained to the ceiling, a cage with handcuffs, shackles and a slew of giant, stuffed bunnies. It seems the chamber is reserved for anointed subjects. “Only the talent can come in here,” a staffer told us. When we asked where the talent was, he replied they were “coming later.” Egads! Guests at the party included “The Book of Mormon” creators Matt Stone and Trey Parker.

Yeah, if you can decipher any of that, more power to you, friend. Mostly all I care about is how hilarious it is that Dina looks scorching hot next to her daughter and that she was almost definitely some kinky S&M mistress for Bravo.