Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Who Didn’t Miss K-Fed?

K-Fed Rules

Everyone did. It’s impossible not to. Like your kid brother who wants to be an astronaut you’ve just got to smile and muss his hair up a bit every time you see him.

This is him at an after dinner party held by someone named Michele Merkin. Evidently she’s been the host of a show called Celebrity Drive-By which I’ve never heard of. Regardless she does have excellent hands with which to play the piano and I hope she’s taken advantage of that.

George Clooney’s Overall Hotness May Destroy Italy

George Clooney is Hot

I knew it would come to this at some point. When someone is so sexy that they make the human torch look like a wet blanket people are bound to get hurt. And since George lives in Italy those people are Italians.:

ROME (AP) — George Clooney has joined a protest to stop construction of parking lots and a promenade in the northern Italian lakeside town where he owns a villa because he fears his presence is turning the quiet town into a tourist attraction.

You see, the town of Laglio has become besieged by people just hoping to get a little taste of the two time “Sexiest Man Alive.”

The article points out that Clooney recently signed a petition to derail a construction project that would have hurt the locals’ fishing boat harbor.

“My concern is that this village that has stood for hundreds of years would be destroyed simply because I happened to have lived there for the last six years. I told my neighbors that I would do what they wanted. And it seemed that they didn’t want to demolish the harbor where all the local fishermen keep their boats,” Clooney said.

I definitely commend Clooney for taking action, but I wonder exactly how long he can be contained. The hotness seekers will come for him, and it will take more than a petition to keep them off. Heck, it could take a full brigade of the Italian army.

Kate & Wills: Back On!!!

Prince William Kate Middleton Back Together News of the World

At least that’s what News of the World is reporting.

The two were reportedly sucking face on the dance floor at a June 7 party for William and other troop leaders.

The Moulin Rouge-themed bash was titled Freakin’ Naughty and featured blow-up dolls and guests dressed as saucy nuns, doctors and nurses, some in sexy Ann Summers lingerie.

Kate was dressed more modestly, but looked gorgeous and Wills could not take his eyes off her, according to guests.

They chatted all night but she kept breaking off to mingle with his Army pals. One guest said Wills followed Kate around looking like a lost puppy and finally dragged her onto the dancefloor at midnight.

After an intimate dance the couple kissed passionately.

When friends joked that they should get a room, Wills did just that, leading Kate back to his private quarters where they spent several hours.

I don’t quite understand at what point in time I started caring about the British Royal family, but I’m really rooting for these two. I was genuinely happy when I saw this, which is strange, because normally when two people split up and then have a romantic reunion I’m just plain bitter. But I adore Wills, and Kate seems like a solid girl who has her head screwed on right (although with arguable taste in head-wear), and Wills seems to be genuinely in love with her. Plus she’s a commoner, making this a true fairy princess tale. Apparently Kate’s still not sure if she wants to get back into a full-fledged relationship with Wills, but they’re going to see each other twice in the next month at formal affairs, and hopefully Kate will realize how much she loves him and how cute she’d be as the Queen of England and then they’ll get married and it will be sooooo adorable!!

Cameron Diaz is Way Sorry About Inadvertantly Supporting Communist China

Cameron Diaz Apologizes for Maoist Communist Bag in Machu Picchu Peru

After toting a bag sporting Maoist slogans through Machu Picchu, Cameron Diaz decided not to pull a Simon Stiles (I’m sorry, I haven’t given up on Studio 60 yet) and issued a formal apology.

“I sincerely apologize to anyone I may have inadvertently offended. The bag was a purchase I made as a tourist in China and I did not realize the potentially hurtful nature of the slogan printed on it.”

So that’s that. Case closed. Cameron Diaz neither speaks Chinese nor supports Maoist philosophy. I will be so glad when Paris Hilton’s out of jail and this shit isn’t news anymore.

Links Links Links

Peaches Geldof brings ennui to a whole new level. [Agent Bedhead]

Kanye West admits he’s been “swimming in wack juice.” But not in, like, an R. Kelly way. [Bree]

Foxy Brown dumps her boyfriend because she finds out he’s an (actual) pimp. Then this dude sends a bunch of his bitches after her and they kick her ass and rip out her weave. [Bossip]

Marissa Miller reminds me that I need to call my plastic surgeon before summer’s over. [Drunken Stepfather]

David Lee Roth used to pay a $100 bonus to the crew member who brought the hottest chick to his dressing room after a show. [Celebslam]

Demi Moore is tired of her teenage daughters getting all the attention, so she decided to run around in a very, very see-through shirt. It’s win-win, really. [The Blemish]

You know, I’d make some comment about Brooke Hogan wearing a goddamn leopard-print bikini, but it’s still a huge improvement over her ass-less denim jeans. [Yeeeah!]

Nicole Richie loves that you all think she’s pregnant. She’s having way more fun with this than we are, I promise. [Ninja Dude]