Today's Evil Beet Gossip

He Really Did It

Lance Bass Poses with His Memoir, Out of Sync

It’s not that I’m surprised Lance Bass published a memoir at the ripe old age of 28.

It’s just that he actually went ahead and called it Out of Sync.

Some equally gay but eventually discarded titles Lance considered:

1) N*BUTTS
2) Tearin’ Up My Anus
3) Pop
4) It’s Gonna Be Gay

I guess he settled on Out of Sync.

Soooooo gay.

Anyway, you can buy his book on Amazon now if you wanna.

Britney’s Still a Crappy Mom

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What? The collagen injections didn’t fix that? Weird.

Spears’ court-appointed monitor turned in a “very damaging report” October 22, a source close to her ongoing custody case with ex Kevin Federline tells Usmagazine.com.

The paperwork, filed under seal to LA Superior Court, claims that “[Spears, 25] paid her [monitor] no attention or respect at all, as if she were some employee whom she could blow off,” the source says.

“Britney’s often distracted and in her own world when she has the kids [Sean Preston, 2, and Jayden James, 1] and has a hard time focusing,” the insider adds. “She is adamant that she doesn’t have to listen to anybody — that it’s her way or the highway.”

Parenting sessions had previously been at Spears’ residence, the source says, but the coach now wants meetings to take place at her office. “She doesn’t want all the distractions, whether it’s the paparazzi or whatever else is going on,” the source says.

Adds the source: “Britney needs to focus on improving her parenting skills and prove that she really wants these kids.”

Oh, Britney, Britney, Britney.

I’m so bored of you.

[source]

I’m Giving Halle Berry a Pass on This Whole Jewish Nose Thing

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In case you haven’t heard about it yet, you can read about Halle Berry and her Jewgate here. Basically, she went on Leno, showed some Photoshopped picture of herself with a really big nose, and said it looked like her “Jewish cousin.” (The “Jewish” part was removed from the broadcast at Berry’s request.)

As a member of the Tribe, I get to give people passes for shit like this. And I’m giving Halle Berry a pass. I really don’t think she meant to be offensive.

Even the Jews over at Page Six went easy on her:

Berry, 41, who sounded like she was near tears, told Page Six last night: “I so didn’t mean to offend anybody – and after the show I realized it could be seen as offensive, so I asked Jay to take it out, and he did.”

The gorgeous actress, who is 4½ months pregnant with her first child, by boyfriend Gabriel Aubry, said, “What happened was I was backstage before the show and I have three girls who are Jewish who work for me. We were going through pictures to see which ones looked silly, and one of my Jewish friends said [of the big-nose picture], ‘That could be your Jewish cousin!’ And I guess it was fresh in my mind, and it just came out of my mouth. But I didn’t mean to offend anybody. I didn’t. I didn’t mean any harm.”

Berry, who even offered to call Page Six’s source and apologize in person, said, “It was just a lighthearted segment that was meant to make fun of myself. There was a picture where I said I looked like Monica Lewinsky and one where I said I looked like Jay. It was just supposed to be a silly segment. I am so sorry, and I apologize.”

Anyway, I think she’s genuinely sorry, and, you know what, Jewish noses are funny sometimes. If Jerry Seinfeld had made that call, you would have laughed.

You’re still okay in my book, Halle.

David Chase Weighs in on Sopranos Finale

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After audiences spent weeks grappling with the Sopranos finale in June, creator David Chase finally gives us his opinion.

“The pathetic thing — to me — was how much they wanted HIS blood, after cheering him on for eight years,” he says of the audience members who wanted to see Tony whacked.

And as for all the theories? “There are no esoteric clues in there. No `Da Vinci Code,’” he says. A.J. will “probably be a low-level movie producer. But he’s not going to be a killer like his father, is he? Meadow may not become a pediatrician or even a lawyer … but she’ll learn to operate in the world in ways that Carmela never did. It’s not ideal. It’s not what the parents dreamed of. But it’s better than it was.”

And as for the blackout at the end?

“Originally, I didn’t want any credits at all,” says Chase. “I just wanted the black screen to go the length of the credits — all the way to the HBO `whoosh’ sound. But the Directors Guild wouldn’t give us a waiver.”