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16The Simpsons Are in Trouble!

No, no. For once, it’s not Jessica or Ashlee trouble. This is about the Simpsons who matter.

While Fox has renewed its hit The Simpsons for their 20th season, it seems contract negotiations with the stars of the show have hit a roadblock.

Folks like Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Hank Azaria, Yeardley Smith, Nancy Cartwright and Harry Shearer currently make $360K and episode, but they want $500K instead. The testy negotiations have delayed production on the series for months already, and it sounds like people are starting to get a little nervous.

Pay the people! I’ll just implode if there aren’t new episodes of the Simpsons.

I remember once, during the single semester of French I took in college, we had to watch an episode of The Simpsons in French. (My French teacher was bad-ass like that. She had once taught English to first-graders in Quebec, and pretty much took all the strategies she used there into the college classroom. She made the entire class sing a choreographed version of “Champs-Elysee” at the university’s cultural festival, which was horrifically embarrassing, but I have to admit I still remember all the words to this day.) Anyway, it was all these different French actors trying to do their best impressions of the Simpsons characters in French, and it was AWFUL! Just terrible! We were so disappointed! The Simpsons would be unwatchable without its usual actors. PAY THE PEOPLE!!!

May 20, 2008 at 9:43 pm by Evil Beet
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10Ouch!

Paris doesn’t want to answer the question about her grandfather giving his fortune to charity rather than to her.

Damn, Paris, there’s an easy answer here: “My grandfather has always been interested in humanitarian efforts, and I’m grateful that he passed that interest onto us, and that his actions reflect it. I’m so proud to be his granddaughter.”

Instead? “Can we go to the next question?”

Ouch!!!

What’s going on behind the scenes here???

May 20, 2008 at 9:28 pm by Evil Beet
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8I Will Never Get Tired of Running Ali/Dina Lohan Interviews

If you don’t like it, skip it, because I’m gonna run a lot of these.

This one’s from Showbiz Tonight.

I love how Dina “Einstein” Lohan responds to concerns about her throwing Ali into the same business that has basically destroyed Lindsay by comparing it to a child wanting to become a doctor because his or her father is a doctor. Like, yeah, Dina, that analogy totally holds, if the kid’s father was Dr. Mengele.

Oh, and Ali on the tabloids and Lindsay: “Look where she is and look where the people are [who are] writing this stuff.” Yeah, Ali. Hi. I’m on my living room couch, sober. And no one who hasn’t dated me or parented me or been my gynecologist has seen my vagina. And I’m going to get to work on time tomorrow. And I’ve never had a DUI. And I’ve never been to jail. Or been estranged from either of my parents. Or written drunken emails to Page Six and misspelled “adequate.” I make a good living and I both own and utilize underwear. Yeah. I’m really pathetic.

God, I’m so excited for this show.

May 20, 2008 at 9:23 pm by Evil Beet
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37Anorexia Sucks: Exhibit 5,964

The girls at Jezebel posted this clip of 19-year-old Cassie, an anorexic who can no longer throw up the tiny amount of food she eats, since she’s lost her gag reflex.

So now she puts a tube down her throat and suctions it out.

Full clip is here. Don’t watch it if you plan to eat in the next few hours. Or if you have any undigested food in your stomach. (Cassie doesn’t!)

Just a friendly reminder from Evil Beet, that, although we make fun of fat people and show a lot of pictures of ridiculously skinny people, eating disorders are really gross and tragic and pathetic in actuality, and anorexic chicks are totally not hot (if you were a guy, would you want to be in bed with that?). And if you know someone who’s suffering from an ED, or if you’re suffering yourself, get your ass some help before you’re sticking tubes down your mouth. For more information on finding help, click here.

May 20, 2008 at 9:11 pm by Evil Beet
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18Well Look Who’s Sneering at the Cameras Already

It’s Ali Lohan, putting on her very best big-girl face before her appearance on David Letterman.

Enjoy these days while they last, Ali. If your genetics are any indication, you’ll actually look the age you’re acting in about six months.

I’m gonna try and get the clip of this interview up for you guys as soon as it’s available. It’s sure to be a doozy!

May 20, 2008 at 8:48 pm by Evil Beet
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10Your Daily Paris

Here’s Paris, doing whatever it is Paris does, and wearing whatever it is Paris wears, in LA on Tuesday.

I’m always amused when she wears crosses around her neck. Because you are everything Jesus Christ represented, Paris.

May 20, 2008 at 7:35 pm by Evil Beet
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