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25Caption This

Lance Bass and Kathy Griffin at Bravo’s A-List awards.

June 5, 2008 at 11:12 am by Evil Beet
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6Ethan Hawke Found a Sure-Fire Way Out of Jury Duty

Apparently Ethan Hawke was a potential juror for the case involving ex-wife Uma Thurman’s stalker.

“I looked down at a guy in the front row – I hadn’t noticed him before – and he was smirking,” said an NYC court clerk, recalling the incident. “It was Ethan Hawke.”

Heh.

June 5, 2008 at 10:30 am by Evil Beet
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11We Have Located Mischa Barton

I guess she’s not missing anymore. The director of her upcoming film, You and I, was freaking out because she didn’t show up for any of the movie’s promotional events at Cannes or in London.

She just didn’t want to promote a crap movie. Unfortunately, all she has to promote are crap movies, since no one’s offering her decent scripts these days.

Anyway, Mischa showed up at some fundraising event sponsored by Billabong in LA yesterday. So she’s fine. Breathe a sigh of relief. Or frustration. Either is fine.

June 5, 2008 at 9:15 am by Evil Beet
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27Your Daily Paris

Paris and Benji head out for a night on the town, hitting up Eva Longoria’s restaurant, Beso.

I like how that dress makes it look like Paris is sporting a baby bump. You know she did that on purpose. She’s so sad that everyone’s having babies but her. She’s playing pretend.

It’s like how I shop at Costco. I have absolutely no need to shop at Costco. I live alone with a four-pound dog. But Costco is my happy place. I love trotting around with my huge cart. I walk past these, like, families of five, kids crawling everywhere, and as I happily heft an eight-gallon jug of apple juice into my cart, I think to myself, “I bet they think I have three kids, too,” and then I feel special. It’s like the most fiscally irresponsible way ever to live out my fantasy life. I bought a pack of thirty hot dogs on Monday. I went into the office on Tuesday and kept asking people “Do you need hot dogs?” The looks I got were priceless.

June 5, 2008 at 8:28 am by Evil Beet
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18I’m Not Buying What Lindsay Lohan’s Selling

She can trot around LA with something that looks like a script all day long, but I refuse to believe anyone’s offering this girl new film roles. She’s box office poison.

You know she just grabbed a bunch of pieces of paper from a nearby printer. Probably walked right into a Kinkos and stole them when she saw the paps coming.

And is she really allowed to be that close to a playground? Don’t we have laws about that?

June 5, 2008 at 8:00 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized

7Christina Aguilera Defends Her Partying Ways

“I spend all day with my son,” Christina tells Access Hollywood. “Once in a while, if I want to go out and have a mommy-daddy night with my husband, I am more than allowed to do that.”

Yes, Christina, you’re more than allowed to do that, once in awhile. In fact, you’re allowed to spend quality time with your husband every freakin’ day if you want. The problem is that you’re not just having mommy-daddy night, you’re having mommy-gets-shitfaced-and-daddy-holds-her- up-on-the-way-to-the-car-while-the-paps-snap-photos night. That’s the problem, Christina.

June 5, 2008 at 7:53 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized