Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Britney Has to Pay K-Fed’s Legal Bills

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Legal stories are so boring.

Basically, Britney has to pay for K-Fed’s lawyers because the Gods have decided that her trashy ass is rich and his comparably less trashy ass can’t get a job. The poor baby is only getting $35,000/month in spousal and child support from Brit. And who the fuck can live on that and pay legal bills?

Soooo boring. I’d be dead asleep if I hadn’t already had like 3 Red Bulls today. I have a problem with Red Bulls.

I Am a Huge Blogger Dork

So I’m off to Las Vegas tomorrow for the Blog World Expo — the first blogging convention of its kind. Spare me the teasing — you won’t think up anything to say that my friends haven’t already. They think this is just the funniest thing ever. But you know what?

I am a blogger.

I am a dork.

And I am soooo excited!!!

(Plus, the guy I’m going with promises me we can go to Spearmint Rhino, and I’m one of those weird chicks who loves strip clubs, so I’m psyched on that.)

Yes, posting will continue as usual while I’m there. I’ll just sit in the convention center and blog between sessions, like everyone else there. Because we’re all huge dorks!!! I will be among my own kind at last.

So the reason I’m posting this is because I want to know if any of you will be there! Drop me a line at evilbeet@gmail.com if you’ll be there and you wanna meet up for a drink. I love making new friends!!!

xoxo,
Beet

Someone Named Rebecca DeMornay Got a DUI

Rebecca DeMornay, Halloween DUI, Pictures, Photos

It happened the night before Halloween. Cops pulled her over on some traffic violation, smelled alcohol, tested her, and booked her.

Her blood alcohol level was 0.09, which is just above California’s legal limit of 0.08. So, like, that really sucks. I mean, it’s one thing if you get pulled over with a 1.5 or something (I have a friend who got pulled over and blew a .33, which is, like, award-winning in my book), but to get a DUI for a 0.09 just sucks. Like, you didn’t even get the full rush of wailing down PCH wasted. You’re just a little tipsy, and then you’re just a little bit in jail, and then you’re just a little bit all over TMZ.

Rihanna Loves Josh Hartnett (Or: The British Tabs Are Making Up Quotes Again)

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Hey, you guys, you know what’s amazing?

The Butterfinger pies they have at Burger King now. I’m not even getting paid to say this, I swear. They’re just really, really freaking good. I find myself driving to Burger King, like, every day to get one. Like I went to get a spray tan today and ended up at Burger King instead. The car just goes there now. I tried one on a fluke, and it was the best decision I’ve ever made. It’s like a little slice of heaven in a cardboard box. They’re better than sex, I swear, and they seem to return my calls with about the same reliability.

Anyway.

The Mirror has some dumb “quote” from Rihanna about Josh Hartnett.

“I’ve fallen for him big time. He is so hot and he is really sweet to me. When we hang out it feels right – even though it’s still pretty new.”

Look, I totally agree that these two have fucked, but she didn’t say this. Firstly, because nobody says that. Honestly. Say those words aloud, and think to yourself “Would I ever say that? Would anyone I know ever say that?” and you’ll realize the answer is no. Secondly, because Josh has gone to great lengths to deny a romance, and, if she really had feelings for him, she wouldn’t fuck him over by going all public with it. She didn’t say this. But it’s a slow news day, so it’s getting reported here.

I’m going to eat my Butterfinger pie now and hope the day gets better.

I Like Lindsay Lohan’s New Boyfriend

Riley Giles Offers Dina Lohan Advice on His MySpace Blog

On Monday, Riley Giles posted this on his MySpace blog:

ADVICE OF THE WEEK: if your a mom, with 4 kids, the best thing u can do for them right now is have a reality show. WE. DO. NOT. WANT. she had the nerve to ask us to be on. no thanks!

Oooh, ouch!

Doesn’t it sting when a 25-year-old snowboarder fresh out of rehab is offering you parenting advice, Dina? And he’s right?

Ouch. Ouch, ouch, ouch.

Links Links Links

They can send bloggers all the freebies in the world; Katie Holmes’ new movie is still going to bomb. [popbytes]

Keira Knightley gets honest for Elle magazine. [INO]

Petra Nemcova is adorable. [FListed]

Mel Gibson’s son is, of course, in rehab. [Celebitchy]

Oh, good. Contestants will be able to play musical instruments on next season’s American Idol. I look forward to everyone singing Stairway to Heaven. [Celebrity Smack]

I love when Katherine Heigl smokes. Which is good, because that’s always. [Celebslam]

Video of Tyra Banks and the Vagina Puppet. Why use a puppet when Britney’s is always available? [The Blemish]

The hot new chick from House lends a hand to the WGA picketers. [Ninja Dude]

Stupid Pictures of Paris and Nicky in Japan, Because It’s That Slow a News Day

Paris and Nicky Hilton Help Select Miss Universe Japan in Tokyo, Pictures, Photos

I had hoped it wouldn’t come to this.

Seriously, I’ve been sitting on these pictures all morning like, “I really don’t want to run these. Please let something happen. I really don’t want to have to run these.” But nothing has happened, guys, so I’m sorry.

Here’s Paris and Nicky tooling around Japan. They’re promoting some line of handbags and, tragically, helping to choose the new Miss Japan. Which is totally appropriate, because if anyone’s in a position to select the woman who best represents the culture and background of Japan, it’s someone who thinks a kamikaze is a shot they serve at Les Deux.

In fact, I am so annoyed with this whole story that I almost didn’t notice that Paris is dressed like a 5-year-old on Easter. I mean, there’s fashion-forward, and then there’s pink fucking tights, Paris.

And I like how all the pictures from this event are taken from, like, two feet off the ground, looking up. Are the Japanese really that short?

Okay, I’ll stop now. Back to hunting for stories.

Paris and Nicky Hilton Help Select Miss Universe Japan in Tokyo, Pictures, Photos Paris and Nicky Hilton Help Select Miss Universe Japan in Tokyo, Pictures, Photos Paris and Nicky Hilton Help Select Miss Universe Japan in Tokyo, Pictures, Photos