Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Brett Ratner Doesn’t Want to Talk About Britney, Would Rather Call Lindsay Lohan a Slut

Brett Ratner and Lindsay Lohan, Pictures, Photos

Director Brett Ratner, who’s currently making a film about Hugh Hefner’s life, when asked if he’d cast Lindsay Lohan: “She’s very talented; she’d be great a as a Playboy bunny, if she stayed sober.”

Brett and Lindsay dated briefly in 2006, when Lindsay was 20 and Brett was 37.

Director Brett Ratner, when asked what advice he’d give to Britney Spears: “I wouldn’t. I don’t want to be quoted about Britney.”

Oh, silly Brett. Everyone has to get quoted about Britney this month. It’s a union requirement. Didn’t you get the memo? Or did someone forget to mail it in the vagina of an 18-year-old girl?

Gay or Straight? I Just Can’t Tell.

This is the latest viral video to be making the rounds on this thing we call the World Wide Internet.

The song you hear in the background is the bonus track on Beyonce’s B’Day album.

This video is oddly addictive. I don’t know why. Maybe it’s because I secretly wish my butt could do things like that. But it can’t. I’m a white girl. My ass is, like, practically an internal organ. Oh well.

Chef Tom Colicchio Has to Eat His Own Words

Chef Tom Colicchio Loses Michelin Guide Star at Craft

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!

Okay, so you know how, on Top Chef, Tom Colicchio’s always like, “You’re a good chef, but we just don’t see consistency out of you”???

HA HA HA HA HA.

So, um, on Monday, Michelin — one of the premiere restaurant ranking agencies in the world — took away one of Tom Colicchio’s stars at his restaurant Craft.

“It doesn’t mean that the chef has less talent. It’s just that the consistency was not there,” said Jean-Luc Naret, the director of the Michelin Guide.

Am I the only one who finds this shit hilarious???

The Gimme More Video, Again

YouTube and Brightcove both pulled it last time, so I know a lot of you didn’t get to see it. But now that MTV premiered it Monday afternoon, hopefully this one’ll stick around a little longer.

It would be a pity for anyone to miss out on the Britney Spears patented brand of ocular vacancy.

Enjoy.

See, This is Why These Kids Go Crazy

Alex Wolff at a CD Signing for The Naked Brothers Band, Pictures, Photos

Alex Wolff on an Elevator, Pictures, Photos, Naked Brothers Band CD Signing in NYC

Nine-year-old Alex Wolff, from the hit Nickelodeon series/movie The Naked Brothers Band, descends an escalator at a CD signing in NYC, followed by photogs and camera crews.

It just feels like such an iconic image to me.

He’s nine.

And it is all I can do to stop myself from making a bitchy comment about his shoes.

How can one possibly expect a nine-year-old kid thrust into this sort of fame to develop a comprehensive and realistic picture of the way the world actually operates? These kids are all destined to go crazy. On the flip side, I am kind of excited for when he starts banging Elle Fanning.

Just Another Hollywood Daddy

Diddy, Kim Porter, and Twin Daughters D’Lila Star and Jessie James, Pictures, Photos

Diddy hit the streets with ex-girlfriend Kim Porter and their 10-month-old twin daughters, D’Lila Star and Jessie James.

The music mogul recently got word that DNA testing proved he was also the father of a 15-month-old little girl in Atlanta. “I will take care of her for the rest of her life,” he said.

Diddy and His Daughter, Pictures, Photos diddy_fam2.jpg Diddy Pushes a Stroller with his daughter, Pictures, Photos