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44Miley Cyrus ::Hearts:: Jesus

Have you ever just wanted to watch two teenage girls high on their own fame talk into a camera about their favorite colors and other meaningless questions for over 7 minutes?

Now’s your chance!

Here’s the latest edition of the Miley & Mandy Show, a YouTube phenomenon where Miley Cyrus and her “best friend” Mandy Jiroux chat about nothing for a really long time (they’ve been “best friends” for a year but “really close” for six or seven months — what???).

Cut to around 6:13 to hear the girls proclaiming their love for Jesus Christ, and Miley reminding you all that “He died for our sins.”

OMG. Cannot wait until she goes to rehab.

March 24, 2008 at 5:29 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Miley Cyrus

36Happy Birthday to Meeee!!!

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Welp, today’s my birthday and, to retaliate, my body has decided to become violently ill once again.

And, no, it’s not because I was out getting all crazy to celebrate my birthday.

Rather, it appears to be a severe case of food poisoning.

Yay!!!!

I’m going to try to post some later in the day, but for now I just need to sleep and not be awake at all because being awake when you’re this sick is just plain scary. This year has just not been awesome so far, health-wise, and I’m sorry I keep taking days off because of it. But hopefully this is just a simple case of food poisoning that’ll be all better in a few hours.

And don’t forget, kids, Britney’s big TV comeback appearance is tonight! I had been considering that to be my birthday present from God, but now I’m pretty sure he just smote me instead.

March 24, 2008 at 12:31 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: MGMT

16Well Look Who’s Suddenly Relevant

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Nobody gives a damn about Kate Beckinsale. We never see pictures of her, we never hear about her, and I bet you didn’t even know she had a daughter.

Then she goes and makes some off-hand remark about how she might eat vagina were the alternative option sushi, and suddenly the photo agencies can’t take enough pictures of her.

Here’s Kate with her husband, director Len Wiseman, and daughter Lily at what appears to be Cross Creek Village in Malibu.

March 23, 2008 at 9:08 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Kate Beckinsale

65What’s with the Bangs, Miley?

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Miley Cyrus sports a new ‘do as she signs autographs while leaving dinner with her mom.

One of my mother’s longtime friends is an immigrant from Poland. She has her grandchildren in town visiting this month, and my mom and I went to say hello to them today. They’re 3 and 6, both from Warsaw, and they don’t speak a word of English. (This did not prevent me from having a drawn-out pirate battle with the 3-year-old, which he won — hilariously — when his mother instructed him in Polish to quit fighting and give me a hug. He obliged, throwing his arms around my neck, then reaching to pull my hair clip from my hair and running away with it. You gotta admit when you’ve been out-smarted.)

Anyway, the 6-year-old girl had a little plastic ball with Hannah Montana’s face on it. And she couldn’t so much as say hello to me in English, but when I picked up the ball and said “Hannah Montana?” she smiled and said “Hannah Montana!” (Then the 3-year-old grabbed the ball away from me and announced, in Polish, “Mine!”).

The point is: Miley Cyrus is universal. Crazy universal. (So is being a 3-year-old boy, I suppose.)

March 23, 2008 at 1:29 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Miley Cyrus

17Proud Papa

Diddy and Twin Daughters D’Lila Star and Jessie James, Pictures, Photos

Here’s Diddy showing off his twin daughters — D’Lila Star and Jessie James — at the finale of Making the Band.

Now I’m not one to make fun of babies, but these girls seriously look like they’re about to throw down. I’m afraid of them.

March 23, 2008 at 1:17 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Diddy

19The New Katie???

Eva Longoria, Victoria Beckham (Posh Spice) and Son Cruz Shopping on Rodeo, Pictures, Photos

On Friday, Victoria Beckham took son Cruz on a little shopping trip along Rodeo.

And she brought along — gasp! — Eva Longoria?

And Eva is holding Cruz’s hand?

Ack, the betrayal!!!!

What happened to Victoria’s longtime shopping buddy, Katie Holmes? Were Posh and Becks finally scared off by the Cruise’s attempts to convert them to Scientology? Were they bitter at having been replaced by the more racially diverse Pinkett-Smiths? Has Tom Cruise finally put his foot down, forbidding Katie from leaving the house outside his presence? Ever since they got back to the States after Tom was filming in Germany, Katie has basically never been photographed without Tom. There are a handful of exceptions, but they almost all involve Katie promoting Mad Money.

What happened to this shopping friendship??

What on earth could possibly explain Posh going shopping with anyone other than Katie?

March 22, 2008 at 12:08 am by Evil Beet