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30Beyonce Knowles Is Very Angry

Beyonce Dereon Ad, Pictures, Photos

I’d look like that, too, if my brand were called Dereon.

I guess the name is a throw-back to Beyonce’s grandmother, whose last name was Dereon, but even still.

It doesn’t make me think of fashion. It makes me think, of, like, vaginal creams. “Itchy in that place? Try Dereon and carry on!”

And, yeah, I know it looks like the Fight Club posters, but that’s really the least of the problems with this ad.

March 26, 2008 at 2:43 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Beyonce Knowles

11Let’s Get Joe Francis Back in Jail!!!

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Okay.

So. You guys know I don’t like Joe Francis. That much should be clear by now. And I’m thrilled that there is yet another lawsuit pending against him. It was filed last week and, in it, four new women claim that they were 17, 16, 15 and 13 when his company solicited them to participate in sexually provocative videos in 2003 and earlier. They want money from Joey.

But follow me closely here:

The girls are represented by a lawyer named Ross McCloy. Ross McCloy was once the law partner of a man named Richard Smoak, who is now a judge in Florida, and who presided over the earlier, separate Florida trial where women claimed Francis tried to film them underage. In that case, the women were also represented by McCloy. It was also the case where the judge (Smoak) actually jailed Joe Francis for making threats during a deposition.

Do you follow so far? If not, read it again. It’s going to get more complicated.

It turns out that Joe’s company, Girls Gone Wild, once met with a consulting firm about working to get Judge Smoak impeached and removed from office. Lord only knows why.

So basically, Joe’s like, “Dude, this guy can’t preside over my trial, he’s totally biased, for a thousand reasons, but most applicably because the defendants are represented by his former law partner.” Except Joe said it like this: “This is America and we are not going to let that happen again. We are not going to let them put me in jail for a civil suit.”

Anyway.

I hate Joe Francis. So, so much. And I’m going to say this once, and probably only once: He’s right about this one. This is bullshit, and the judge should recuse himself.

March 26, 2008 at 2:30 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Joe Francis

8Hillary Clinton and Angelina Jolie Probably Shouldn’t Mate

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Because it turns out they’re ninth cousins.

And Brad Pitt? He’s a ninth cousin of Barack Obama.

OMG.

Only on a slow news day, people. Only on a slow news day.

Pitt and Obama are ninth cousins, linked by Edwin Hickman, who died in Virginia in 1769, the researchers found.

Clinton … and Jolie, meanwhile, are ninth cousins, twice removed because they are both related to Jean Cusson who died in St. Sulpice, Quebec, in 1718.

Seriously?

And I went to elementary school with John McCain’s daughter. No, really, I did. She was a couple of years below me. I was her 4th grade reading buddy. She wore big red glasses and she was adorable. I’m gonna call my PR agency. We oughtta issue a press release on a slow news day.

March 26, 2008 at 2:19 am by Evil Beet

4The Bright Pink Nails Are Back!

Lindsay Lohan Leaves Villa Lounge in Car with Samantha Ronson, Pink Nails, Pictures, Photos

Yay!

Lindsay’s rocking those neon nails again. Must be that time of year.

And here she is, partying — with water, I assume — at Villa Lounge. She left in a car driven by none other than Samantha Ronson.

I bet Samantha took her home and gave her a nice, strong batch of … um … cookies.

Also, check out the ridiculous fake eyelashes in the thumbnail.

Lindsay Lohan Fake Eyelashes, Pictures, Photos

March 26, 2008 at 2:10 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Lindsay Lohan

10Success for Britney!

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Finally!

Brit-Brit’s appearance on How I Met Your Mother garnered the show its highest ratings ever. 10.6 million peeps tuned in to watch Britney play a ditzy, slutty receptionist for Scrubs‘ Sarah Chalke, who also guest-starred.

You can check out all of Brit’s scenes here.

Is it happening? Is the real Britney Spears comeback beginning?

Oh, I hope so!

March 25, 2008 at 12:39 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Britney Spears

8Jamie-Lynn Spears Is Either Engaged or Has Mastered the Art of Fucking with the Media

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People magazine is reporting that Jamie-Lynn Spears, age 16, has been spotted all around Louisiana flashing an engagement ring from baby daddy Casey Aldridge.

“She’s got an engagement ring,” the source says. “She’s been showing it off, talking about it.”

I think I call bullshit on this. I’m not even entirely convinced yet that Casey Aldridge is even the father of JLS’s kid, but we’ll probably never get a paternity test, so I guess I’ll just have to accept not knowing. I think Jamie’s just learning to play her sister’s game — wear a ring, fuck with the media.

March 25, 2008 at 10:55 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Jamie-Lynn Spears