Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Wait a Second, There’s a War in Iraq Still?

MSNBC’s Mika Brzezinski put a prettier face on the point Rosie O’Donnell is trying to make: there are currently news stories that actually impact the lives of people whose last name isn’t Hilton. It’s just that no one is paying attention to them.

Ms. Brzezinski basically loses it in her morning newscast, refusing to lead with a story about Paris Hilton. At one point, she has to be stopped from lighting her paper copy of the story on fire. I love it. Now that’s a newsworthy story: MSNBC studio burns to the ground; Paris Hilton to blame.

I Came Closer to Dying from Laughing at This Picture of Sheriff Lee Baca Than Paris Hilton Ever Came to Dying of Anything in Jail

Sheriff Lee Baca, Shirtless Hottie

Big, huge, enormous props to Celebslam for tracking down this photo of Sheriff Baca.

The Sheriff was grilled once again about why he decided Paris needed to leave jail after like 10 minutes, and he was like, “Our doctors said we had no solution to Hilton’s medical problems. None. As a sheriff in this county, I’m not going to let any inmate die in this jail.”

Jesus Christ, what did she have? The plague?

Even Paris was all like, “The doctors were observing me while I was there. They explained to Sheriff [Lee] Baca that they thought I was having severe anxiety, panic attacks, claustrophobia.”

Baca went on to say that “everyone who goes in to serve county jail time is early released. If Ms. Hilton got preferential treatment, it’s that she spent more time in the county jail than the average inmate.”

I think that if Paris had been released with that sort of statement, there would probably have been less backlash. If the Sheriff had just been, like, “Look, this is pretty routine. Paris is a low-risk, non-violent offender, and it doesn’t make any economic sense to keep her here when we have high-risk, violent felons who need cages, so we’re releasing her early and putting her on house arrest, like we do in all of these cases,” people may have been less outraged. I know I would have. It probably would have helped me be a little less outraged if the Hiltons hadn’t contributed to Baca’s most recent campaign, but that’s a different story.

I Guess Eating All Those Wieners isn’t Good For You

hot-dog.jpg

To all those out there who dream of being the Coney Island Hot Dog Eating Champ. Competitive eating has its consequences.

Takeru Kobayashi of Japan, the hot-dog eating champ of New York City’s Coney Island has been diagnosed with arthritis of the jaw. According to a message he sent his fans on his website,

“Already I can’t open my jaws more than just a little bit. There’s no pain only if I open my mouth about enough for one finger. More than that is painful and I can’t open it. To tell the truth, I’m desperate about healing completely before the July 4 contest”

Fans need not worry that their won’t be a wowing wiener champ. Already Joey Chestnut, 23, of San Jose, Calif., beat Kobayashi’s world record in a Coney qualifying event, the Southwest Regional Hot Dog Eating Championship at the Arizona Mills Mall, by eating 59.5 hot dogs in 12 minutes. The record that Kobayashi set last year was 53.75 wieners in 12 minutes.

I’m sure the Mustard Belt will go to a dynamic Wiener winner. I feel sorry for Kobayashi…kind of funny however that he has paralized his jaw by eating too many wieners. I know some girls that I went to college with that had the same problem.

[source]

Liz Claiborne Dies

Liz Claiborne Died on Tuesday

Fashionista Liz Claiborne passed away on Tuesday, the company she founded announced today. She was 78.

Claiborne founded her company in 1976 with a goal of creating fashions for the growing number of women entering the workforce.

“In losing Liz Claiborne, we have not only lost the founder of our company, but an inspirational woman who revolutionized the fashion industry 30 years ago,” said Bill McComb, CEO of Liz Claiborne. “Her commitment to style and design is ever present in our thinking and the way we work. We will remember Liz for her vision, her entrepreneurial spirit and her enduring compassion and generosity.”

Let’s Talk About Paris Hilton for a Change

Paris Hilton on Cover of People Magazine

So what has Paris been up to since her release from jail early Tuesday morning?

Perhaps not surprisingly, she’s been playing dress-up. After sporting a $440 Petro Zillia jacket and $300 Marcella Toshi heels during her catwalk to freedom, Paris had a 9:30 am hair appointment where she got new hair extensions put in. Immediately after, she sat down for an exclusive photo shoot and interview with People magazine.

In the interview, Paris talks about her difficult first nights in jail. “I was basically in the fetal position, basically in hysterics. All of the inmates were very supportive. There were girls next to me. We could talk through the vents and they were just really sweet.”

While People has Paris on their cover, US Weekly is both retaliating at Hilton and scoring some smart PR for themselves by blacking out Paris Hilton coverage in this week’s issue. “The staff and I felt what I believe a lot of people in America are feeling. Which is just enormous Paris fatigue,” said editor Janice Min. “I don’t think we even mention the city of Paris.”

Paris will appear on Larry King Live tonight to do her first televised interview since leaving jail.

Hugh Grant and Jemima Khan: Back On?

Hugh Grant Jemima Khan Back Together Pictures Photos

Hugh Grant may be off the market once again. After splitting from heiress Jemima Khan in February, it appears Grant had a recent change of heart. The two were spotted together at the Ritz in Paris.

Said a source: “The time they spent apart made Hugh realize just what he was missing without Jemima.”

Rumor has it that Grant may have even proposed to Ms. Khan, although neither of them will comment on that point.

You know, in looking through pictures of the couple, it occurred to me that Jemima Khan is what you’d get if you bred Elizabeth Hurley with Sandra Bullock and then beat the child with an ugly stick. I’m just saying.

Jemima Khan Picture Photo Hugh Grant’s Girlfriend Again? Hugh Grant Jemima Khan Back Together Images