Today's Evil Beet Gossip

I Will Totally Pick Up Chelsy Davy’s Sloppy Seconds

Prince Harry and Girlfriend Chelsy Davy Break Up

Congrats to 22-year-old Chelsy Davy, who officially dumped a Prince of England. Ah, to even have the opportunity …

Chelsy reportedly dumped Prince Harry — who she’d been dating for three years — because she was unhappy with his Playboy lifestyle, and his decision to attend the rugby world cup final in Paris in October instead of her birthday party.

Harry, baby, call me. You’ve heard we American girls have loose morals. Let me prove it.

Quotables

Alicia Keys at Conde Nast Media Group’s 4th Annual “Black Ball” Concert for “Keep A Child Alive” at Hammerstein Ballroom

“It sounds like you’re a stripper.”

Alicia Keys’ mother, when she heard her daughter’s first choice for a stage name: Alicia Wild.

The singer was born Alicia Augello-Cook.

Elizabeth Hasselbeck, Baby, Blah

hasselwhore.jpg

That bitch on The View, baby boy, blah blah blah blah, born.

Baby is healthy.

Sadly, so is Elizabeth.

She’s fucking calling into the show on Monday to announce the baby’s name.

Seriously?

The kid is less than a day old and you’re already exploiting him?

Elizabeth, when you die, I hope this kid sells fucking tickets for people to come and deface your corpse and sits nearby, watching, counting his money and whispering “So how does this make you feel, Mom?”

And you know what else?

I hope Rosie O’Donnell is the first in line.