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13Usher’s Wife Lays Down the Law

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Apparently she's keeping a close eye on her man. Frankly, I would, too, after that shit he pulled with Chilli.

I guess Tameka Foster was acting like a raging bitch toward Keri Hilson, the hottie who played Usher’s love interest in the video shoot for his latest single, “Love in This Club.”

“Tameka is very insecure,” our source said. “Even in rehearsals she was weird and clearly not happy that Keri is so gorgeous. Tameka threw a lot of attitude. The day of the shoot, Tameka dressed Keri very badly – she looked like an extra. Tameka wouldn’t let Keri have her hairdresser there – she had to use the hairdresser who was doing the extras.”

Okay, look, I read all of this, and I suppose there’s plenty to say, but all I can think of is this: My Lord, I hate that song. When it comes on the radio, I can’t change the station fast enough. The lyrics just bother me. Like, they’re clearly in a dance club. A hot, sweaty, dirty dance club where people have been dropping their glasses and running around shoeless and possibly peeing on the floor, Paris Hilton-style, and you wanna have sex with someone there? Like, where, dude? On the actual dance floor? Behind the bar? In the bathroom, perhaps? I mean, I’ve definitely been dancing with a dude at a club and thought to myself, “Yes, I’d like to have sex with this guy, after we get home, in a nice clean bed with freshly laundered sheets.” But in the actual club. Ew, ew, ew. I hate that song. I’m afraid I’m going to get a staph infection just by listening.

March 26, 2008 at 3:14 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Tameka Foster, Usher

12Rock On, Chelsea

Check out Chelsea “Kick Ass” Clinton responding to questions about Monica Lewinsky.

March 26, 2008 at 2:57 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Chelsea Clinton

30Beyonce Knowles Is Very Angry

Beyonce Dereon Ad, Pictures, Photos

I’d look like that, too, if my brand were called Dereon.

I guess the name is a throw-back to Beyonce’s grandmother, whose last name was Dereon, but even still.

It doesn’t make me think of fashion. It makes me think, of, like, vaginal creams. “Itchy in that place? Try Dereon and carry on!”

And, yeah, I know it looks like the Fight Club posters, but that’s really the least of the problems with this ad.

March 26, 2008 at 2:43 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Beyonce Knowles

11Let’s Get Joe Francis Back in Jail!!!

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Okay.

So. You guys know I don’t like Joe Francis. That much should be clear by now. And I’m thrilled that there is yet another lawsuit pending against him. It was filed last week and, in it, four new women claim that they were 17, 16, 15 and 13 when his company solicited them to participate in sexually provocative videos in 2003 and earlier. They want money from Joey.

But follow me closely here:

The girls are represented by a lawyer named Ross McCloy. Ross McCloy was once the law partner of a man named Richard Smoak, who is now a judge in Florida, and who presided over the earlier, separate Florida trial where women claimed Francis tried to film them underage. In that case, the women were also represented by McCloy. It was also the case where the judge (Smoak) actually jailed Joe Francis for making threats during a deposition.

Do you follow so far? If not, read it again. It’s going to get more complicated.

It turns out that Joe’s company, Girls Gone Wild, once met with a consulting firm about working to get Judge Smoak impeached and removed from office. Lord only knows why.

So basically, Joe’s like, “Dude, this guy can’t preside over my trial, he’s totally biased, for a thousand reasons, but most applicably because the defendants are represented by his former law partner.” Except Joe said it like this: “This is America and we are not going to let that happen again. We are not going to let them put me in jail for a civil suit.”

Anyway.

I hate Joe Francis. So, so much. And I’m going to say this once, and probably only once: He’s right about this one. This is bullshit, and the judge should recuse himself.

March 26, 2008 at 2:30 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Joe Francis

8Hillary Clinton and Angelina Jolie Probably Shouldn’t Mate

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Because it turns out they’re ninth cousins.

And Brad Pitt? He’s a ninth cousin of Barack Obama.

OMG.

Only on a slow news day, people. Only on a slow news day.

Pitt and Obama are ninth cousins, linked by Edwin Hickman, who died in Virginia in 1769, the researchers found.

Clinton … and Jolie, meanwhile, are ninth cousins, twice removed because they are both related to Jean Cusson who died in St. Sulpice, Quebec, in 1718.

Seriously?

And I went to elementary school with John McCain’s daughter. No, really, I did. She was a couple of years below me. I was her 4th grade reading buddy. She wore big red glasses and she was adorable. I’m gonna call my PR agency. We oughtta issue a press release on a slow news day.

March 26, 2008 at 2:19 am by Evil Beet

4The Bright Pink Nails Are Back!

Lindsay Lohan Leaves Villa Lounge in Car with Samantha Ronson, Pink Nails, Pictures, Photos

Yay!

Lindsay’s rocking those neon nails again. Must be that time of year.

And here she is, partying — with water, I assume — at Villa Lounge. She left in a car driven by none other than Samantha Ronson.

I bet Samantha took her home and gave her a nice, strong batch of … um … cookies.

Also, check out the ridiculous fake eyelashes in the thumbnail.

Lindsay Lohan Fake Eyelashes, Pictures, Photos

March 26, 2008 at 2:10 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Lindsay Lohan