Today's Evil Beet Gossip

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Jay-Z is #1 on Forbes’ list of Hip-Hop Moguls. Tragically, Scott Storch made the Top Ten cut, too. [Bossip]

Watch Britney Spears get shoe-horned into those jeans for her Allure photo shoot. [Agent Bedhead]

OMG!!! The Hills may be scripted! [The Blemish]

Ever wonder what became of the naked pool baby on the Nirvana cover? I bet that kid gets laid a lot. [Celebrity Smack]

Jenna Bush got engaged to former employee of Karl Rove. [Cele|bitchy]

Ah, thank God. The Elizabeth Hasselback cameltoe shot. I won’t be posting for the rest of the day, as I’ll be too busy masturbating to this. [Drunken Stepfather]

David Beckham finally proves useful. [Celeb Warship]

It’s Sad That Amy Winehouse is Going to Die

Amy WInehouse Leaves Rehab

The troubled singer/songwriter/heroin addict left rehab after less than 48 hours.

Sources close to the family are blaming her husband Blake for encouraging Amy to leave the rehab, while her other friends and family desperately wanted her to stay there.

“She wanted to leave on Tuesday evening,” says a source. “People close to her are devastated. But Blake wants her to return to normality — and we all know what their normality is. They’ve even been planning to meet friends in Camden. It’s madness.”

In fact, Amy was spotted out at the bars just last night. “Oh my God,” she said, “what the hell happened to last week? I’m fine, don’t worry.”

Doesn’t this remind you of Lindsay Lohan about a year ago? The infamous “It’s like, yeah, motherfucker, I’m fine” quote? Something tells me this is not the first time Amy Winehouse will see the inside of a rehab facility.

This Actually Doesn’t Suck Too Hard

Heidi Montag First Single, Body Language

Ryan Seacrest premiered Heidi Montag’s first “single” this morning in LA. Spencer Pratt raps on it.

Apparently Ryan was not supposed to do this, and Heidi’s been crying about it all morning.

Awwww. Poor baby.

“The record company leaked the track,” says a source. “Spencer and Heidi were just having fun in the studio and working on songs. That was not meant to be released. Spencer would never rap on Heidi’s first single.”

The truth is, the song isn’t bad. I’m still Team LC, but I could definitely hear this playing in a club. Definitely way better than anything P-Hilt churned out.

Listen to it here.

Et Tu, Adrien?

Paris Hilton and Adrien Grenier

Alas, another one of my boyfriends has gone over to the dark side.

Paris Hilton’s flavor du jour is obviously Adrien Grenier.

He picked her up from her house last night and took her to some art show, where Brandon Davis was also present. (First: Awwwwkward. Second: What the fuck was Brandon Davis doing at an art show? In sunglasses? Hopefully they provided him with a coloring book to keep him entertained.)

Adrien, how could you do this to me? I truly thought you were better than that. Paris Hilton’s wicked spell must be very, very powerful.

Photo credit: Buzz Foto

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Jessica Biel’s Gonna Get Naked for You

Jessica Biel to Get Naked in New Film

It’s the moment you’ve all been waiting for!

Jessica Biel is now contractually obligated to get naked on camera.

SHE’S been shy about bearing her bod every since her racy Gear magazine spread hit stands in 2000, but Jessica Biel plans to shed her threads in the upcoming movie “Powder Blue,” which co-stars Forest Whitaker. Us Weekly reports that she’ll play a “stripper trying to earn money to raise her terminally ill son,” and audiences will get an eyeful. Biel “signed a contract that explicitly details the bare minimum fans will see – including shots of her breasts and butt,” a source dished to the glossy.

You know what this means, don’t you? It means you may actually see a movie with Jessica Biel in it! Nah, who am I kidding? The screen shots’ll be on the web before the film even comes out.

Hollywood It Girls Continue to Play Musical Penis

Britney Spears and Criss Angel

Hurry up! Grab one to sit on!

Sigh.

It was just earlier this summer that (married) magician Criss Angel was proclaiming his undying love for Cameron Diaz. But that’s all over now — Cameron’s already being linked to Jessica Simpon’s ex John Mayer — and Criss Angel has moved on to none other than Britney Spears.

The two were caught by cameras at 4 a.m. last night in the Tower Beverly Hills Hotel. They were later spotted holding hands and taking an elevator up to an 11th floor suite. I have a feeling there was lots of “freak,” not so much “mind.”