Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Charlie Sheen’s Ready for Wife #3

Charlie Sheen and Brooke Mueller Wolofsky Pictures and Photos

Sucks to be you, Denise Richards.

Just a couple months after Denise’s break-up with Richie Sambora became public, her ex-hubby Charlie Sheen has gone and got himself engaged again. The newest future ex-Mrs. Sheen is Brooke Mueller, a 29-year-old real estate investor.

It seems Brooke’s investment in this relationship is already paying dividends; Charlie proposed with a $500,000 engagement ring on a Costa Rican beach.

This is Sheen’s second marriage. His first marriage, to Donna Peele, lasted about a year, and, most recently, he claimed Denise Richards as his bride. They divorced less than two years ago.

Denise and Brooke have reportedly forged a friendship of sorts, and have been spotted out and about together with Denise and Charlie’s daughters. “I really like her,” said Denise, “and that’s something people have a hard time with, too. I honestly want my girls happy and if they can have a harmonious environment at my house and at his house, that’s all I want. I really like her and I’m very, very happy for the both of them and I want my girls happy.”

See, guys? Happy. Happy! HAAAPPPPYYYY!!!!! EVERYBODY IS TOTALLY HAPPY. (Except those kids, every time Denise insists on dragging them to the red carpet events they hate so desperately.)

Hairspray is Here: Los Angeles Premiere Photos, Part II

Michelle Pfeiffer Kissing Sister DeDee at Los Angeles Premiere of Hairspray, Pictures and Photos

Let’s kick this one off with a shot of Michelle Pfeiffer getting ready to make out with her sister, Dedee, because that’s hot.

We’ve also got Carmen Electra, out to disprove anyone who would dare argue that she has a neck.

And my darling Brittany Snow, who seems to have a much better grasp on the fundamentals of make-up application than the last time we saw her.

Amanda Bynes NAKED AND NUDE.

I’m kidding. It’ll just be funny when I get the search engine traffic. And by funny I mean lucrative.

Update: Ha! We’re now on the front page of U.S. Google results for both “Amanda Bynes nude” and “Amanda Bynes naked,” and, yes, I’m getting plenty of search engine traffic as a result. This shit is so much fun, you guys!

Michelle Pfeiffer at Hairspray Premiere in Los Angeles, Pictures and Photos Nikki Blonsky at Hairspray Premiere in Los Angeles, Pictures and Photos Carmen Electra at Los Angeles Premiere of Hairspray, Pictures and Photos Carmen Electra at Los Angeles Premiere of Hairspray, Photos, Pictures, Images Carmen Electra at Los Angeles Premiere of Hairspray, Pictures and Photos Brittany Snow at Hairspray Premiere in Los Angeles, Pictures and Photos Brittany Snow at Hairspray Premiere in Los Angeles, Photos, Pictures, Images Amanda Bynes, Naked, Nude, Nip Slips and Crotch Shots, Check Out Pictures and Photos Here!!! Amanda Bynes, Naked, Nude, Crotch Shots, Nip Slips and Nipples, Check Out Pictures and Photos Here!!!

Hairspray is Here: Los Angeles Premiere Photos, Part I

John Travolta and Family, Wife Kelly Preston and Daughter Ella, at Hairspray Los Angeles Premiere, Pictures and Photos

Okay, we’re doing this in several parts, because there are just too many fabulous photos from this event. We’ll start with John Travolta, walking the red carpet with the portion of his family that doesn’t have autism. He actually doesn’t look half bad, although my guess is that the list of plastic surgery procedures he’s had in the past year is about as long as the list of available treatments for his son’s autism, should he ever choose to acknowledge it. Kelly totally misread the invite and thought this was the Valley of the Dolls premiere. And I’m pretty sure Ella is sporting hair extensions.

John Travolta at Hairpray Premiere in Los Angeles, Pictures and Photos John Travolta at Hairpray Premiere in Los Angeles, Pictures and Photos Pictures and Photos of John Travolta and Family at Los Angeles Premiere of Hairspray: Wife Kelly Preston and Daughter Kelly Preston at Hairspray Premiere in Los Angeles

Dear God, We’ve Driven Paris Hilton to Use Drugs for the Very First Time!

Paris Hilton Smoking Weed Outside Teddy’s, Photos and Pictures

It seems the psychological wounds of her brief jail stay cut deeper into Paris Hilton’s soul than we’d been led to believe; the traumatizing experience has left the heiress so angry, hopeless and ungrounded that she’s resorted to using drugs for the very first time in her life.

According to this item in Page Six:

PARIS Hilton seems to be up to her old tricks again. Although she told Larry King she’d never done drugs, the newly spiritual heirhead emerged from an SUV in front of Hollywood club Teddy’s the other night in what witnesses describe as a cloud of marijuana smoke. “She took a huge puff off of a joint, then opened the door and exhaled the pot smoke basically in my face,” one clubgoer told us. At least she wasn’t driving.

You guys, I think we need to take a good, hard look at ourselves. I know we all wanted to see Paris do some hard time. I know it was good for a laugh. I know it sold a lot of magazines. But did we ever once think that the justice system’s totally warranted actions could lead a virgin with a lifetime of sobriety into the dirty underbelly of Hollywood’s marijuana subculture? What have we done?