Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Kanye West’s Mother Died as a Result of Complications from Plastic Surgery!

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We haven’t been covering the Kanye-West’s-mom-died story around here, because when non-famous relatives of famous people die, I tend to think it shouldn’t be sensationalized, but, okay, when you die getting plastic surgery, you’re fair game.

Kanye West’s publicist announced that his 58-year-old mother died “as the result of complications from a cosmetic surgical procedure.”

Just like Cher Horowitz’s mom!

It’s not worth it, people!

POLL: What is a Chode?

I know this is random, but I saw “No Country for Old Men” with some friends tonight (weird movie, weird ending, but the psychopath was way cool) and on the way home we started talking about the word “chode.” I have always heard it used as like the equivalent of a “taint” (‘taint ass, ‘taint pussy), like the space in between an ass and balls/vagina. But apparently it is also used to describe a penis whose width is greater than its length (seriously? those exist? I thought I’d seen it all…).

So anyway.

I’m putting it to a vote, since Dictionary.com is of no help. Select your answer, add an answer, or leave something in the comments.

Also, 100 points to whoever can tell me where the hell that word came from.

What is a chode?
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Shocker: Britney Flunks a Drug Test

TMZ is reporting that one of Britney’s drug tests came back positive, but that the “source” who reported this to them claims it was a false positive.

Meanwhile, there’s a video circulating of rehearsals for Britney’s VMA performance, with a stand-in instead of Britney. This is supposed to be the super-amazing dance number they had planned before Britney fucked it all up.

Frankly, this is pretty much the exact same number Brit performed. She landed all her moves. The difference here is the camera angles — it actually looks better when you get more of the backup dancers and less of the “Britney.” Video’s below.

I Will Totally Pick Up Chelsy Davy’s Sloppy Seconds

Prince Harry and Girlfriend Chelsy Davy Break Up

Congrats to 22-year-old Chelsy Davy, who officially dumped a Prince of England. Ah, to even have the opportunity …

Chelsy reportedly dumped Prince Harry — who she’d been dating for three years — because she was unhappy with his Playboy lifestyle, and his decision to attend the rugby world cup final in Paris in October instead of her birthday party.

Harry, baby, call me. You’ve heard we American girls have loose morals. Let me prove it.

Quotables

Alicia Keys at Conde Nast Media Group’s 4th Annual “Black Ball” Concert for “Keep A Child Alive” at Hammerstein Ballroom

“It sounds like you’re a stripper.”

Alicia Keys’ mother, when she heard her daughter’s first choice for a stage name: Alicia Wild.

The singer was born Alicia Augello-Cook.