Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Britney’s Still a Moron

britney_cry23.jpg

I don’t have it in my to summarize or be snarky about these stories anymore, but it’s my job to bring them to you.

TMZ has learned that Britney Spears stood up her parenting coach yesterday, and apparently, it’s the last straw for the coach.

Sources say Britney had a scheduled time to meet the coach yesterday at her Malibu home. The coach made the trek, but no Britney.

We’re told during the hearing earlier this week, the coach phoned in and asked the Commissioner if she could end the home visits, presumably because they were going nowhere. Seems like Britney was ignoring the coach — like everyone else who gives her advice.

Are they still making those Team Federline shirts?

Quotables

Isla Fisher Gives Birth to Baby Girl

“There is no way I am going to worry about missing out on work or the pressure to lose weight. At the moment I am not even planning any work. As far as I am concerned I am fully booked up in my personal life and I can’t see beyond that. I plan on just colouring in books. I’ll focus on that for the next few years.”

Isla Fisher, who gave birth to a baby girl on Wednesday night. The baby daddy is her fiance, Sacha Baron Cohen (aka Borat).

Chloe Sevigny Is Running Out of Ideas

Chloe Sevigny at Opening Night of Pygmalion on Broadway

Chloe Sevigny at Opening Night of Pygmalion on Broadway

Are those shorts?

Are they, Chloe?

Are you just running out of ways to be weird?

Chloe Sevigny wore a lovely pair of shorts to the opening of Pygmalion on Broadway on Thursday night.

I think we need to help Chloe out here. Does anyone have suggestions for her?

What if you showed up to your next event with a boa constrictor wrapped around your neck? Too Britney Spears? Have you considered wearing scrubs? I hear Katherine Heigl has her own line of them now. What if you wore a bikini as underwear? Still too Britney Spears? Purple lipstick? Pleather? I dunno, Chloe, but please never wear those shorts again, dear.

Hey, Jared Leto, Remember When You Used to Be Hot?

Jared Leto at MTV Latin America Awards in Mexico City, Pictures, Photos

Ah, those were the days, weren’t they?

I mean, don’t most people go through the angsty, black-eyeliner, goth phase in high school? I just think it’s funny — and kind of tragic — that you’ve decided to do this in your 30s. You sure are sticking it to the man, aren’t you?

Will we never get our Jordan Catalano back?

At the MTV Latin America Awards in Mexico City on Thursday night.