5Nicole Richie Will Fight DUI Charge

For the first time in recent memory, Nicole Richie really, really doesn’t want to be more like Paris Hilton. The tiny starlet announced today through her lawyer that she will fight her most recent DUI charge, and a court date has been set for July 11. Richie was formally charged with a DUI in February, after driving the wrong way on an L.A. freeway last December as she was leaving boyfriend Joel Madden’s house at 4 in the morning.

Nicole has a previous DUI, so if she’s convicted, she faces a minimum of five days in prison, and a maximum of one year. All this happens to coincide with Internet rumors that Nicole’s preggers — with photographs of Richie’s supposed “baby bump” circulating. At first my reaction was, like, you say “baby bump,” I say “distended belly.” But these rumors have persisted for several weeks now, and the photos are becoming more convincing — I wonder if Nicole’s hoping a pregnancy will keep her out of jail.

June 19, 2007 at 11:18 am by Evil Beet

2Doesn’t This Mean He DID Do It???

Here is an excerpt from the manuscript of OJ Simpson’s failed book “If I Did It.” Now this sounds to me like him actually confessing to killing Nicole Brown and Ron Goldman.

I know double jeopardy and all…but can’t OJ get in trouble for confessing? It makes me so sick he didn’t get locked up forever for this.

Then something went horribly wrong, and I know what happened, but I can’t tell you exactly how. I was still standing in Nicole’s courtyard, of course, but for a few moments I couldn’t remember how I’d gotten there, when I’d arrived, or even why I was there. Then it came back to me, very slowly: The recital-with little Sydney up on stage, dancing her little heart out; me, chipping balls into my neighbor’s yard; Paula, angry, not answering her phone; Charlie, stopping by the house to tell me some more ugly shit about Nicole’s behavior. Then what? The short, quick drive from Rockingham to the Bundy condo. And now? Now I was standing in Nicole’s courtyard, in the dark, listening to the loud, rhythmic, accelerated beating of my own heart. I put my left hand to my heart and my shirt felt strangely wet. I looked down at myself. For several moments, I couldn’t get my mind around what I was seeing. The whole front of me was covered in blood, but it didn’t compute. Is this really blood? I wondered. And whose blood is it? Is it mine? Am I hurt?

LOCK OJ UP! I bet his kids are really happy that this got leaked to the internet. Way to be a responsible parent OJ.

June 19, 2007 at 10:51 am by EvilT

5Pope Knows Driving

The Vatican has come up with the “Drivers 10 Commandments.” Got road rage? The Catholic church wants to help you through it. I have to say that after visiting the Beet in California I would need these to deal with SoCal highway traffic. Thankfully I live in New York so I just yell at people on the subway. But here are the commandments if you need a little bit more Jesus in your daily commute.

1. You shall not kill.

2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.

3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.

4. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents.

5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.

6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.

7. Support the families of accident victims.

8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.

9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.

10. Feel responsible toward others.

I bet the Pope also wouldn’t be down with teenagers losing their virginity in motor vehicles…but “don’t do it in the back of your dad’s Taurus” just doesn’t sound elegant does it?

June 19, 2007 at 10:34 am by EvilT

17Mommie and Me

How cute are Katie Holmes and Suri? I have to say that the alien baby is really growing up to be a beautiful girl. They are a cute pair with Katie and her new mommy haircut.

Sources keep saying that Katie is knocked up with another alien spawn. I hope, for her sake, that she isn’t so she can get out of the grip of creepy Cruise soon.

For more pictures of this adorable pair click [here]

June 19, 2007 at 10:23 am by EvilT

40Go Ahead, Tell Me You’re Tired of Pics of Alfonso Ribeiro. I Dare You.

They never get old. You know this.

Carlton leaves Joseph’s in LA last night with a “mystery female companion.” This girl is totally the second coming of Jenna Von Oy. She looks somehow familiar. Anyone know who she is?

Photo credit: Buzz Foto

June 19, 2007 at 8:53 am by Evil Beet

0Links Links Links

Some unattractive man wins Britain’s Got Talent. See, that sort of thing would never happen here in the U.S. We like our celebrities attractive, dammit. [Cele|bitchy]

Okay, so, at some point in 1997, my high-school boyfriend presented me with a copy of Paula Cole’s This Fire. “I bought this album,” he said, “but I don’t want it anymore. I heard that song on the radio where she’s like, ‘I’ll wash the dishes while you have a beer,’ and I thought that was awesome, but the rest of the album isn’t like that at all.” Anyway, after a 7-year break, Paula Cole’s back with a new album. [popbytes]

Michelle Williams takes daughter Matilda out for a stroll. [Daily Stab]

Heh. Kristy Swanson got her ass arrested for an “altercation” with her boyfriend’s ex-wife. [Glitterati]

Beyonce rocks the ugliest bikini I have ever seen. [Jordan]

Oh, please tell me they’re going to try to make a movie out of the Monopoly board game. [Allie Is Wired]

June 18, 2007 at 5:11 pm by Evil Beet