The Great White Underage Hope, Miley Cyrus, has reportedly broken up with one of these Jonas Brothers kids. I guess they were secretly dating, and now they’re not-so-secretly breaking up.
I’ve been ignoring these kids for as long as they’ve been on the scene, because, you know, I’m too old and crotchety to care about dudes I can’t legally bang, but Miley is my hope for the future of this blog. If Lindsay stays sober, Paris stays pleasant and Britney dies, I need Miley to be fucking up. So I’ve started following her closely.
So who are these boys??? Why are they so famous??? Someone explain please.
And when is Wilmer Valderrama gonna step up and start dating Miley? Isn’t it, like, his whole job now to bang the underage starlets? DO YOUR THING, Wilmer!
December 28, 2007 at 12:02 pm by Evil Beet
You know what the world really needs?
Another book about rehab.
Tara Conner’s stepped up to the task. She told Matt Lauer on the Today Show that she’ll be penning a book about her experience before, during, and after her rehab stay.
Tara’s been sober over a year now, since Donald Trump sentenced her to rehab after Miss Teen USA brutally sold her ass out for snorting coke on the job.
Congrats to Tara for staying sober for a year. Maybe I shouldn’t poke fun — here’s a Miss USA who’s very publicly setting a positive example for real girls with real problems. Way to go, Tara.
December 28, 2007 at 11:50 am by Evil Beet
Paris Hilton touched down in LA from Hawaii on Wednesday afternoon, and by that evening, she was at new Hollywood hotspot Goa with sister Nicky.
Don’t these people ever sleep???
December 28, 2007 at 11:43 am by Evil Beet
I’m glad to say we’ve found the happiest possible ending to a very sad story.
Reverend Run and his wife, Justine, lost their biological baby last year when the baby was born with a rare congenital illness. However, they have since adopted an American baby, who they’ve named Miley Justine Simmons. She’s been with the family for three months, and she’s four months old now.
“The more you mourn, the more you want to mourn. I would have landed in depression,” Justine Simmons tells Us Weekly. “I wanted a girl really bad, and I knew I wasn’t going to try again.”
Congrats to the happy family!
December 28, 2007 at 1:25 am by Evil Beet
The Hilton clan left Hawaii on Wednesday to descend on an unsuspecting Los Angeles.
I have to say, though, Paris has been behaving herself nicely — I mean, in Paris terms — since her little jail stay.
Will this behavior continue into 2008?
Man, I hope not.
Seriously, with Lindsay staying sober and Paris staying out of trouble, I have just one thing to say: I AM EXPECTING BIG THINGS FROM YOU, MILEY CYRUS!! Get out there and DRINK, bitch!
Image via Splash
December 28, 2007 at 1:17 am by Evil Beet
Who the fuck cares?
Sean Penn and his wife, Robin Wright, are divorcing after 11 years of marriage.
They have two children together: Hopper Jack, 14, and Dylan Frances, 16.
My college boyfriend and I used to joke that we wanted to name our youngest son Horseman, just because it would be the coolest thing ever to have a little kid be all like, “What’s up? My name’s Horseman” and it would obviously be a dating advantage to him when he got older. He’d be all like, “What’s up? My name’s Horseman. That’s right, baby. Horse. Man. Boo-yah.” Horseman would be such a pimp.
Anyway. We thought we’d come up with the craziest baby name ever. But Sean Penn wins this battle, with a son named Hopper.
If this kid doesn’t develop a raging drug problem, I don’t know what I’ll do with myself.
Also: I’m obsessed with Robin Wright’s dress in this photo. Gorgeous!! (Photo taken Sept 18 of this year, so they were putting on a brave front as of 3 months ago.)