Today's Evil Beet Gossip

O.J. Pleads Not Guilty

This story is really boring until he goes to jail.

Then I will write about it a lot, I promise. I’m super excited.

Until then, who cares? I didn’t care about this case the first time around (granted, I was like 10), and I don’t care about it now. I am only looking forward to watching this dumbass get away with murder and then go to jail for robbing some turbos in a hotel room. During his friend’s wedding reception. What a tool.

It’s a huge joke now among my friends. Every time his name comes up, it’s always the same rant. Someone’s like, “Seriously, who the fuck invites O.J. Simpson to their wedding? How do you get the bride to sign on to that? Like, ‘No, honey, I promise. I’ve talked to him, and he says he’ll be well-behaved. No double-homicides, he swears. Weeeellll, I guess he didn’t specifically agree not to round up a group of our friends at the reception and execute some ill-thought-out robbery while recording the audio, but I imagine he knows better than that. I mean, no one’s that dumb. Right, baby? Right?’”

I would just like my future husband, whoever he may be, to know that O.J. Simpson is not coming to my wedding. And neither is your drunk, obnoxious uncle. Unless he wants to get us the full set of that Tiffany china. Then we can talk about it. But definitely not O.J.

For those of you who care, O.J. plead not guilty to all 12 counts, ranging from armed robbery to kidnapping, for allegedly attempting to rob two sports memorabilia dealers at gunpoint.

Links Links Links

Former Britney paramour J.R. Rotem is, inexplicably, still talking. [Mollygood]

Let the Lindsay’s-drinking-again rumors begin! [FListed]

Daisy Fuentes is 41 years old and still in a bikini. [CityRag]

I don’t know who Gemma Atkinson is, but she’s in a bikini, too. [Jordan]

Sarah Jessica Parker is insanely buff. Seriously, if I were her kid, I’d freaking behave. [INO]

What is Whitney Houston’s daughter smoking? [Bossip]

Being Super-Famous Does Not Lend Itself to Marriage: Exhibit C

Helio Castroneves and Julianne Hough in Love? Pictures, Photos

Helio Castroneves, the Brazilian racecar driver who won Dancing with the Stars last night, lost his fiancee in the process.

Less than a day after Castroneves was declared the winner, Aliette Vazquez, a Miami-based business executive, announced she had called off their engagement.

“There’s been a lot of rumors and a lot of stuff said, and she just wanted confirmed that they are no longer engaged. There’s no animosity, there’s nothing mean. Just a simple confirmation,” Vazquez’s publicist, Howard Bragman, told The Associated Press on Wednesday.

“I will tell you (that) we wanted to be respectful and wait until the show was over,” he said. “We did not want to affect the outcome of the show.”

The woman Helio’s pictured with here is not Aliette, but Julianne Hough, his DWTS partner, who’s been linked to everyone under the sun lately, including Helio.

Hm.

Lindsay’s Recording a New Album!

lindsay_bday.jpg

Okay, look, I’m about to say something shameful:

I like the Lindsay Lohan albums.

I do. I’m sorry. I like both of them.

I have her second album, Confessions of a Broken Heart, in my car at this moment. My ex-boyfriend burned it for me off iTunes years ago and wrote across it, in big black pen, Lindsay Lohan: Confessions of a Crappy Musician. He always was quite the wit.

Anyway, word on the street is she’ll soon begin work on #3, tentatively titled Nobody’s Angel.

And you know what?

I’m excited for it.

THE STEPHANIE PRATT SEX TAPE!!!

Stephanie Pratt sex tape

Remember how I was saying it would be fabulous if there was a Stephanie Pratt sex tape?

Ask and ye shall receive.

This just landed in my inbox:

evilbeet,

there IS a stephanie pratt sex tape. i met stephanie in miami just a few weeks after spencer started on the hills and she was bragging about how her brother was on tv and i didn’t give a shit, but i was like “damn that girl is hot!!!” so i took her back to my place and we had a little fun for the camera. and i think it’s funny that her brother was talking shit about lauren’s vaj, because his sister has a gross mole on hers. it’s the size of my thumb and it has little hairs in it. you can see it in the tape. am currently talking to video agencies to decide where to sell it now that hse’s on the hills but wanted to let u know.

[name redacted]

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!

All’s fair in love and war, kids. You should have stayed away, Stephanie.