Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Sucks to Be You

california_usa.jpg

Um, so, today, Miss California USA Raquel Beezley got her crown and sash from the reigning title-holder.

The winner announced at the pageant was Miss Los Angeles Christina Silva, but the title was taken for her after she …

Posed naked?

Released a sex tape?

Dated Brandon Davis?

No, no.

It was an “accounting error.” The organization is claiming the votes were counted wrong. “Human error,” they say.

That suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucks.

Ms. Silva is contemplating legal action.

You go get ‘em, girlfriend!

God, I Love Z-Listers

Kimberly Caldwell at 2007 Ms. Planet Beach International Pageant

Fresh from my inbox:

American Idol veteran Kimberly Caldwell belts out one of her latest songs at the 2007 Ms. Planet Beach International Pageant (the largest spokesmodel competition in America).

Singing at the Ms. Planet Beach International Pageant!!!

That’s kind of like being famous.

In fact, this one time, my friend Katie and I got really drunk and climbed up on stage with the band at Lighthouse on the Hermosa Pier on St. Patty’s Day and ended up sticking around for all three of their sets. People told us the next day that we were fabulous … ly wasted. But you don’t see us sending out press releases about it. I’m just saying.

Anyway, her PR agency had the courtesy to send me the Biggest. Photo. Ever. of her at this event, so, after the jump, Kimberly Caldwell’s tonsils!

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Yes Of Course Jessica Sierra Has a Sex Tape

Jessica Sierra Bathtub with Cigarette, Porn Sex Tape Photos

The racist little slut managed to convince someone to have sex with her fug, infested ass. On camera.

Listen up, guys. You think she’s getting wet, but she’s really just oozing puss.

Just when Jessica Sierra thought that facing eleven years in prison was the worst news of the week, the “American Idol” finalist learned that a major porn company has obtained a sex tape featuring Jess — and they’re preparing to distribute it.

This ultra-classy cigarette-in-the-bathtub shot is from the tape. If someone can track down the uncensored version, I’d love you forever.

So cute.

This Is Painful

Please, guys. They’re cute in photographs. They’re cute when they’re trying to work a computer. And I bet they’re cute naked (Hef?). But, please, people, no one give the Olly Girls a hosting gig ever again.

Links Links Links

A Lindsay Lohan style retrospective. [INO]

Jack Black is sorry you’re going to have to see his ass. [Websters]

Jamie Lynn Sigler talks about the very most interesting topic ever: anorexia! Yay! [POTP]

Um … the Amy Winehouse upskirt? [Celebslam]

Nicole Richie doesn’t have to go to her anti-drinking classes anymore while she has a baby. Really? Shouldn’t they be upping the number of anti-drinking classes for her right about now? [Celebitchy]

Check out a review of the Spice Girls’ LA show. [popbytes]

Heh. Bill O’Reilly says he’d deport Victoria Beckham. Heh heh heh. [MollyGood]