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93Where the Hell Does Disney Find All These Damn Virgins???

Seriously it’s like they’re holding casting calls exclusively in fundamentalist churches in middle America.

I’m just waiting for one of these teenage Disney stars to go on the record all like, “Yeah, dude, I plan to have sex before marriage. It’s normal and healthy. I’ll use protection and I’ll choose my partners carefully, but, yeah. I’m totally gonna be getting laid.”

Instead, 15-year-old Selena Gomez, heralded as the next Miley Cyrus, has announced that she’s going to save herself for marriage.

“I said, ‘Dad, I want a promise ring.’ He went to the church and got it blessed. He actually used me as an example for other kids. I’m going to keep my promise to myself, to my family and to God.”

Riiiiiiiiiiiiight.

June 6, 2008 at 2:18 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized

6Fun with Advertising

EB reader Anna sends in this screenshot with the following note:

“check out the ad in relation to the picture”

AHHHHHHHHHH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!

GENIUS!

June 6, 2008 at 1:13 pm by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized

6Baby Bump!

The fabulous and funny Amy Poehler shows off her baby bump at the Fresh Air Fund Salute To American Heroes in NYC.

HOT MAMA!

June 6, 2008 at 11:59 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized

3Uh, I Guess Gwyneth Paltrow’s Doing a Cooking Show?

I don’t really understand this. It’s not like the woman can’t score movie roles anymore. But I guess for some reason she wants to do a television show called Spain… On The Road Again. It’ll co-star Mario Batali, and basically just be about all the foods of Spain.

BORING.

The show is supposed to begin airing this fall.

However, some dude is suing the production company, saying he was supposed to produce a companion book to the TV series, but he’s accusing the production company of approving his concept for the guide but then delaying giving him a written contract and eventually dismissing him without pay.

Um … so you didn’t have a contract in place? And then the production company flaked on you?

Welcome to Hollywood, buddy.

June 6, 2008 at 11:53 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized

8Pete Wentz Stays Sober for Ashlee

Pete Wentz celebrated the big 2-9 at Foxtail in LA last night — but he didn’t get wasted. In fact, Pete never had a thing to drink all night. Since preggers Ashlee can’t be drinking alcohol, Pete abstained as well.

Aw, how sweet!

June 6, 2008 at 11:33 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized

17Mary-Kate Olsen is DRUNK

While her twin sister is looking fabulous on red carpets all over the world, Mary-Kate is still looking like a drunken bag lady, and she’s acting like one too.

Note that no one is touching her as she falls the fuck down outside her SUV after leaving an LA club with friends. She was not pushed down by the paps. She just couldn’t stand upright on her own.

June 6, 2008 at 11:31 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized