Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Angelina Jolie Picks Up Maddox from School: Part IXXCM

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Seriously, this has been, like, an epic event in photojournalism. I swear there are pics of Angie getting this kid from school every single day.

What’s left of Angelina Jolie picked up her son from the Lycee Francais in Manhattan on Wednesday.

I’d also like to point out, Mom, that you can see her black bra through her shirt. So the next time you want to cluck at me for doing the same, I’d just like to say: “Brad Pitt’s girlfriend did it, too.”

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Joaquin Phoenix: Hot or Not?

Joaquin Phoenix at the Premiere of We Own the Night in New York

I remember him as the hottest thing ever back in the To Die For days, but I can’t decide if he’s aging like a George Clooney or a Ryder Strong (do not get me started on Ryder Strong — I want my childhood fantasies back, dammit!!!).

These pics are from the premiere of We Own the Night on Tuesday in NYC.

What’s the verdict, kids?

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Is Anybody Watching Pageant Place?

Pageant Place Cast Photo

I just caught the first episode tonight.

DRAMALICIOUS!!

Okay, you guys, here’s the set-up: Miss Teen USA Katie Blair (who’s not Miss Teen USA right now, but was when they filmed this), Miss USA Rachel Smith and Miss Universe Riyo Mori are all living together in Trump Towers.

Katie, as you’ll recall, was all BFF with Tara Conner (aka Mess USA) before she went to rehab. I guess Katie was the one who turned Tara in to the Miss Universe Organization for drug use, thus leading to that whole scandal. Tara thinks Katie did it because Katie thought Tara was moving in on Katie’s boyfriend.

So, to be a huge asshole (and for ratings), Donald Trump announces to the girls that he’s bringing Tara back into the Miss Universe organization, as a sort of mentor for the other girls.

In typical beauty queen style, the girls are all acting like this is cool with them, but this is sooooooooo dick of him, especially to Miss USA, because this really is supposed to be her year. Plus there’s all this tension between Tara and Katie. There is gonna be some SERIOUS beauty queen dramz, you guys!!

Donald Trump is SUCH an asshole. But he is SO smart about this stuff!

Oooooooooh. I LOVE this show already!!!!

Britney Wants to Have Sleepovers with Her Kids

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I think Britney Spears woke up in the middle of the night recently and was like, “Where are my kids? What do ya’ll mean they took ‘em away? The little stinky people? They’re gone? Shit, ya’ll. Did ya’ll know that all along? Why didn’t someone tell me?”

And then people stared at her kind of dumbfounded and finally someone was like, “Um, well, yeah. You didn’t take your drug tests and you don’t show up at court and you’re generally not at all in the running for Mother of the Year and Jesus Christ, Britney, you make Kevin Federline look amazing.”

And then Britney was like, “Fuck. This is totally worse than that acid I stole from Andy Dick. What do I do to get those critters back?”

So Brit-Brit’s passed her most recent few drug tests, and, pending the results of her ability to wake up before noon, will appear in court at 8:30 am tomorrow to ask the judge to grant her overnight visits with the kiddos.

Did somebody say paparazzi field day?

Oh, yes.