Today's Evil Beet Gossip

The Guy May Hate His Daughter… but He Loves Sea Cows!!

Alec Baldwin wants to save you, provided you’re a manatee.

Honestly this is a huge cheapshot… but what the hell, I haven’t written for the Beet in weeks and I know everyone misses my particular brand of spite. How do I know? Letters… telegrams.. and that one airplane skywriting message that truly went above and beyond.

ENGLEWOOD, Fla. (AP) — Alec Baldwin wants Floridians to be more aware of the plight of manatees. The actor and producer has recorded two 30-second public service announcements for the Save the Manatee Club. The animals are on the federal endangered species list and at risk of being seriously injured or killed by boat strikes.

I really don’t have a joke other than to say that Manatees have done their level best, via evolution, to go extinct. They swim around two miles per hour, on the surface of the water, and they weigh a jillion pounds each. So motor boats pick them off like deer on a highway. Also, they are also called “sea cows” – I think, so this is totally not a jab at the Manatee by this guy. If it were up to me I’d ban motor boats and the beer guzzling yahoos that pilot them.

It’s actually all kind of sad, and I imagine if the manatee were cuter it would get starlets excited about saving it. As it stands it only gets a gravelly voice guy who occasionally loses his temper on the phone.

T-Shirt Chic

Mary-Kate Olsen at Weeds Premiere Red Carpet, Pictures and Photos

Lord only knows what Mary-Kate Olsen is wearing to the premiere screening of Weeds. I actually like the T-shirt a lot, I just don’t think it’s appropriate at a red carpet event, and those pants aren’t appropriate anywhere ever. And the cross is just gaudy, MK. Would you dress like that for church? But her hair and make-up are great, and the head shots are stunning.

Mary-Kate Olsen at Weeds Premiere Red Carpet, Pictures and Photos Mary-Kate Olsen at Weeds Premiere Red Carpet, Pictures and Photos Mary-Kate Olsen at Weeds Premiere Red Carpet, Pictures and Photos

Well This is an Effective Way to Dispel Rumors That There’s Trouble in Your Marriage

Adam Sandler, Wife Jackie and Daughter Sadie, Pics, Pictures Photos

Seriously, how often does a WireImage photog just show up on the set of an Adam Sandler movie on the same day that his wife and kid are there?

Okay, you guys don’t look through every photo on WireImage like three times a day, so trust me when I say this is really random.

In the aftermath of rumors earlier this week that there was trouble in Sandler-dise, Adam’s wife Jackie and their one-year-old daughter, Sadie, showed up on the NYC set of You Don’t Mess with the Zohan to pose adorably together and there just happened to be an internationally syndicated photo service there! Now that’s comedic timing!

sandler_family1.jpg Adam Sandler and Daughter Sadie, Pictures and Photos sandler_family3.jpg

POLL: Which Background Do You Want for Evil Beet?

There seems to be some difference of opinion on which background we should use moving forward.

The old one, with the faces of all the celebs, was popular, but it made for slow load times for people with slower connections (and on mobile viewers). The new one is definitely less interesting, but it loads a lot faster. Or maybe some of you like the solid color background, but you don’t like the pink. So we’re putting it to a vote. Let us know what you think.

Which background would you prefer?
View Results

Update: If you are still having trouble viewing the new layout, hit Ctrl+F5 (if you’re on a PC) or Apple+R (if you’re on a Mac). This will force a refresh in your browser and should resolve the problem.

Scott Wolf Still Trying That Whole Television Acting Thing

Scott Wolf Inks Talent Holding Deal with ABC

Although ABC realized that critical darling The Nine‘s title was a better description of its audience size than its premise, they plan to have the Party of Five star back on your television screen quicker than you can say “Neve Campbell who?”

Wolf just signed a talent holding deal with ABC; the goal is to develop a project around Scott, or to cast him in one of the network’s 2008-09 pilots.

I have a better idea: bring back Party of Five! I mean, come on, what’s Lacey Chabert doing these days? Matt Fox? Lost is losing steam. Neve Campbell is not busy. And I’m sure Jeremy London could make time. Whaddya say, network heads??

Guess What? Lindsay Lohan’s a Bitch!

Lindsay Lohan is Addicted to Sex

I know, I know. It’s shocking.

But with LiLo in hiding, we’re forced to dig deep for gossip on the starlet.

National Enquirer, in their usual fall-back plan, got a bunch of Lindsay’s “friends” to talk shit about her in exchange for a paycheck. And what do we learn from them? Lindsay, it turns out, is kind of a bitch, especially when she’s drinking.

After throwing back a few cold ones, Lindsay was known to exclaim: “I’m the greatest actress in the world! No one’s even close to me right now!” And what did she have to say about her competition? Nothing nice at all. Here’s what she thinks about the other girls in Hollywood:

Scarlett Johansson is “ugly, fat, and has no talent.”

Jessica Simpson “can’t sing and is as dumb as shit.”

Sienna Miller is a “no-talent crackhead.”

Keira Knightly is a “flat, shallow, cardboard cutout of an actress.”

Jessica Biel is a “phony, scheming joke of an actress.”

Her “friend” also says the actress is “addicted to sex.” According to this firiend:

I don’t think lindsay can sleep alone – absolutely refuses even to try- so she’ll drive around looking for some guy to be with. One late night she drove up to Adam Levine’s house and text-messaged him from her car, asking to be invited in. But he refused her, and she was furious. Another night she did the same thing to actor Ryan Phillippe. He wouldn’t open the door for her either. She’s so afraid to be alone that she picks up strangers at clubs or on the street, just because they’re good-looking. One night at the nightclub Les Deux, some guy I’d never seen before joined us. When I asked who he was, she said: ‘Oh, he’s the cashier at the liquor store I went to the other night. Isn’t he hot?’ If she can’t find someone to spend the night with, she stays up until daylight – then takes some Xanax or Ambien to get some sleep.

Oh Hell Yes: Kim Kardashian’s Getting a Reality TV Show

Kim Kardashian Reality TV Show

With The Simple Life coming to a permanent close, where are we going to get our doses of celebretard antics? Besides, you know, on all the gossip blogs?

Look no further than Kim Kardashian! Kim, her siblings and her step-siblings — including famewhore Brody Jenner — are slated to do a Brady Bunch-style show for an unnamed network (meaning it probably hasn’t been officially picked up yet — or she doesn’t want to admit that it’s VH1).

“We’re all so different,” says Kim about the show. “Khloe’s, like, hysterical and says these ridiculous things. Kourtney is such a bitch. I’m in between. Brody’s so wild. The two little ones are adorable…It’s just such a good mix.”

I give it four episodes.