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27Giggle Giggle!

Aw, I’m sorry, but Samantha Ronson and Lindsay Lohan have totally won me over. I just don’t think there’s anything fake or bullshitty about this. They love each other, and they make each other so happy, and that makes me happy.

The gruesome twosome are still inseparable. Here they are having lunch in LA while Lindsay’s on a break from filming her new movie.

June 21, 2008 at 3:37 am by Evil Beet

11Redding Or Not

I’m at the Oxford Suites in Redding, CA. This is by far the nicest hotel room I’ve stayed in on this journey, but I really needed it tonight, and it’s money well-spent. Seriously when I get back to Seattle I am canceling all obligations and scheduling an emergency spa day. All this road-tripping has been so rough on my skin and my hair. After spending an entire day driving from San Diego to Redding, I can tell you with total confidence that nothing is larger than the state of California except for my pores. Awful, awful.

Leo is running from one end of the suite to the other and back again at full speed. He has been doing this for 45 minutes now. I think he’s been cooped up in the car too long.

This morning, we met Sister Beet, Cousin Beet and two Uncle Beets (Uncles Beet?) for brunch at Cousin Beet’s bar in San Diego (Players on Clairemont Mesa … swing by, ask for Michael, and tell him I said to give you a beer on the house). Sister Beet got to meet Leo for the first time, even though Cousin Beet wouldn’t let Leo into the bar (“Health Department blah blah blah…” — this is why he owes you guys a beer).

After eating, Papa Beet and I headed up to L.A., my former hometown. We stopped in Manhattan Beach to say hi to some of my friends. It was a gorgeous day, the ocean was sparkling, we drank Starbucks on the beach, and all the girls were running around in bikini tops and denim skirts. It brought back a lot of happy memories, and, for about an hour, I really, really missed Los Angeles.

Then we got back on the road.

After paying $4.60/gallon to fill up the tank, we promptly sat in traffic on the 405 for an hour and a half.

Then I didn’t miss Los Angeles anymore.

The rest of the day was uneventful. Just a lot of driving. Papa Beet dropped his cell phone without noticing at a truck stop. The guy who found it went to the trouble of going through Papa’s outgoing calls and reaching my sister, who called my cell phone, and then my sister got to describe me to this guy while he walked around a huge truck stop looking for me so I could get the phone and give it back to Papa Beet. You know, not all people suck. This was really nice of that guy, and it definitely saved our day from certain disaster.

While we drive, Leo sits up front between Papa Beet and me, and the three cats hang out in a (huge) soft, mesh crate in the back. About an hour south of Redding, I catch a flash of white in the back seat. It’s Josie. She’s executed a stunning escape. She has forced her way out of the top of the crate, somehow managing to loosen the zipper. She wants to come sit with Papa Beet and me.

Now Josie’s problem is that Leo occupies the space between me and Papa Beet, where she wants to be. Leo and Josie fight about this for the next half an hour, scratching and pawing at one another. I spent that entire time trying to get a photo that captured the cuteness of this cat/dog battle. I must have taken 20 photos. Since it was nighttime, each photo resulted in a bright flash. Sadly, I never got my perfect shot.

Five minutes after I gave up, a lightning storm began.

Papa Beet announced that now even God was trying to get a photo of Josie and Leo. They were that cute.

Anyway, I’m gonna get some sleep now. With any luck, we’ll be back in Seattle by Saturday night, and I’ll update again from home sweet home! Yay!

June 21, 2008 at 3:33 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Uncategorized

20What’s the Rush?

Little Maddie Briann still practically has a toe in Jamie-Lynn’s vagina, and Britney’s back in LA already!

Britney got back on Friday and caused some paparazzi insanity at LAX.

She clearly had to hurry back to her busy life of filming cameos that won’t be included in music videos.

Seriously I’m open to all your ideas on why the hell Brit only stayed for like 24 hours after JLS had her kiddo. I can’t think of any huge work obligations she has coming up. I mean, Britney’s flaked out on work stuff for WAY less than the birth of her first niece. If my sister had a newborn baby, I’d stick around for awhile, if only to show up at her house every day around noon, looking well-rested, perfectly dressed and impeccably coiffed, sipping my Starbucks and laughing at her for an hour or so before announcing that I had to leave or I’d be late for my facial.

Is Britney a bit jealous?

Or does she just want to give Jamie the opportunity to spend some time with her baby without the Britney Spears paparazzi feeding frenzy outside the door?

June 21, 2008 at 3:00 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Britney Spears

18Paris Hilton Got Drunk and Fell Into Some Bushes

Eh. It happens to the best of us.

June 21, 2008 at 2:36 am by Evil Beet
Filed Under: Paris Hilton

20Smoochie Smoochie!

Ellen Degeneres and hottie girlfriend Portia de Rossi share a hot on-stage kiss at the Daytime Emmy Awards.


June 21, 2008 at 2:35 am by Evil Beet

31Not Really News – But Taylor Hicks is Boring.

I love a few things about this story. First off, I love that WireImage has the EXCLUSIVE look at Taylor Hicks in Grease. That’s like being the least alcoholic Real-Worlder. You’re not accomplishing much there.

Secondly, I love making fun of Taylor Hicks because he is unbelievably boring in real life. I met him right after he won Idol. Then I fell asleep. He speaks in one word clips and he doesn’t seem so “clever”. There’s just nothing engaging about him. I’m guessing this is why he hasn’t transitioned into anything more than “past Idol winner.”

It was pretty sad because I wanted us to be best friends given that I’d voted for him. But I suppose that’s what you get for flying too close to the sun.

Studdard on the other hand is top notch – a total baller. Now THAT’S an exclusive people.

Here are more ridiculous pictures.

June 20, 2008 at 1:14 pm by Spiteful Lars
Filed Under: Taylor Hicks