Today's Evil Beet Gossip

Well If Jenna Bush’s Mom Says She’s Not Pregnant, Then She’s Definitely Not Pregnant

Is Jenna Bush Preggers?

From the NY Daily News:

Jenna Bush is not getting married because she’s pregnant, a rep for First Lady Laura Bush tells us. Wonkette, the mischievous D.C. blog, has been doing photo analysis of the First Daughter’s tummy ever since last week’s announcement that she’ll marry boyfriend Henry Hager. An unamused White House calls the shotgun wedding rumors “absurd.”

Dude, my mother thinks I’m a virgin with real tits currently on a religious mission in Venezuela.

I hope Jenna’s preggers.

Is Britney Spears Peeing in Belgium?

We haven’t heard much from the pop tart in recent days, and now a newspaper in Belgium is reporting she stopped to use a public toilet there. Ha! That’s our Britney!

I am making the assumption that this is Dutch, and I tried to use Babel to translate, and this is what it came up with:

Britney Spears did Monday night plasje on the toilet of tavern Erasmus to the Berchem slate. That claims the kelners of the tavern. “she came with two large Mercedessen, had three bodyguards at itself and carried a zonnebril”, says to kelner Ronald Busschots. We are certainly of it: the wás Britney. It must between six and seven hours are geweest”, Ronald tell. For the door of the tavern two large Mercedessen 500. that stopped are of those large barges, which to dread you did not have all days moreover them a number plate with VIP017 and VIP018. From the cars three men and a woman stepped. The woman came in, with one of the mannen.`Waar is the toilet’, early the man in English with an American emphasis I indicated him the way and the woman entered the toilet. The man continued stand for the door of the wc. That found Ronald nevertheless strange. “I asked him in Dutch if he what wants drink, but he understood me niet.`Sorry ‘ early hij.`Do asked you because to drink something’ I then.” Ronald weet it certainly: the man was a bodyguard. “because he had oortje”, he says. But he wants nothing drinken.` It’s a more frosted or emergency, empty he from a need case, therefore. Then the woman ended up the toilet. She smiled to me and said ` thank you. Ronald recognised at that moment her. “Britney Spears!” were

The preceding paragraph is probably the funniest thing that’s ever been on this blog. I mean, that’s not saying much, but every time I read over it I giggle. I have no idea what it means, and if anyone actually speaks the language on that website and would like to translate, I’d be forever indebted. But I get the feeling that Brit and her bodyguards stopped at a pub in Belgium so Britney could pee. I love it.

Why is Britney in Belgium???

Let’s Play Spot the Baby Bump

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Christina Aguilera Baby Bump

Christina’s definitely put on some weight in the past few months, but she’s pulling a Nicole Richie and making it impossible to get a good shot of the baby bump.

Come on, Xtina! You’ve never hidden your bumps before — why start now?

Shopping in Beverly Hills yesterday.

Photo credit: Buzz Foto

BRING BACK JOAN AND MELISSA!!!

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What the fuck is this???

Backstreet BoyN*SYNC-er Joey Fatone (REMEMBER KIDS, IT’S FUNNY BECAUSE HE WAS THE FAT ONE) has signed on to co-host the red carpet for the TV Guide network. His partner in crime? Lisa Rinna. Who the fuck is Lisa Rinna?

“Joey is a top-notch professional with a natural likeability and great sense of humor, all of which are essential attributes of a red-carpet host,” said the president of TV Guide network.

This is going to be unwatchable.

BRING BACK JOAN!

BRING BACK JOAN!

BRING BACK JOAN!